Fun Stuff > CHATTER
Please, Just Let Me Die Already
onewheelwizzard:
Definitely let her know how you feel.
HOWEVER, and this is the hard part, you really should present it in a way that says "I'll be OK if I don't get together with you or anything." And then you have to actually be OK with that. The thing you really don't want to do here is drop your emotional health in her lap and say "From the moment I tell you that I'm really into you, I'm only going to be happy if things go my way and we get together ... if you don't return these feelings, I will be in a lot of pain and you will be the reason why." That is what you absolutely totally do NOT want her to hear.
See the thing is, either the feeling is mutual or it isn't, and if it isn't, you really don't want her to feel bad about it. That would be terrible because then you both would be feeling shitty ... her for not returning the feelings you have which are obviously so important to you, and you for making her feel shitty over something like that (and of course over not being with her). So your optimal situation here is one in which she feels safe and comfortable with you even if she doesn't want to be with you. That is what you are shooting for. If she doesn't want to be with you, the LAST thing you want is for her to feel bad about that.
So basically you have to take responsibility for your feelings and make it clear that there's nothing wrong with whatever she might be feeling, but you have a lot of attraction to her. It's a tricky business and I wish you the best of luck.
Guido Sarducci:
--- Quote from: october1983 on 26 Feb 2009, 17:46 ---Whatever happens, I do not want to ruin our friendship as it is the best thing, but at the same time maybe I should stop letting potential good things pass me by.
--- End quote ---
I have had, and have, a lot of good friends. I have only had one great love. In my experience, you can often find good friends by being a nice guy and sharing your jelly beans once in a while. Love, however, is rare. And while it is a gamble, if I found a woman who excited me intellectually and I found her attractive, I would be willing to risk the friendship. I would also force myself to be honest--your relationship left the realm of friends when you became interested in her romantically. That isn't hard and fast. I have had friends who I was attrected to and they knew it, and it was no big deal because attraction and timeliness and urgency don't often coincide. But if this is real to you, and it is not a short termgot the hots, and IF she is really your friend, you owe it to her to be honest about what is driving you.
Lines:
So I met this guy and I had fun hanging out with him, but I have no real desire to do it again. I think I'm broken. Halp.
Guido Sarducci:
--- Quote from: Linds on 26 Feb 2009, 19:23 ---So I met this guy and I had fun hanging out with him, but I have no real desire to do it again. I think I'm broken. Halp.
--- End quote ---
You could start wearing dark clothing and cut yourself and snear a lot.
Lines:
I wear dark clothing sometimes, I already get enough paper cuts as is, and I only sneer when people do stupid things. Please try again!
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