Fun Stuff > CHATTER
Please, Just Let Me Die Already
Beren:
--- Quote from: Professor Snuggles on 07 Aug 2009, 08:05 ---The girl I am dating is getting back from Italy today, and is expecting her mom to pick her up from the Denver airport at about 8:00 PM.
I have arranged things with her mother so that I will be there instead, hella surprise steeze.
Is this a good idea, y/n.
--- End quote ---
Depends how long you've been dating, really.
But could be awesome. Probably will be awesome.
NeverQuiteGoth:
--- Quote from: Eviko on 04 Aug 2009, 21:41 ---In Seriousness.. I don't really want a romantic relationship with a male, but i would love some more male friends.. how do you befriend males without sending the wrong messages?
--- End quote ---
Befriend established couples. Its pretty much the only way. :|
maxusy3k:
--- Quote from: 20 jazz funk greats on 07 Aug 2009, 22:04 ---(snip)
what do i do now?
--- End quote ---
As somebody who apparently comes across as incredibly flirty with a huge potential for promiscuity - if I had the self-confidence to actually approach people - I can certainly see where he is coming from. I agree with the whole 'if you aren't monogamous, why call it a relationship' thing one hundred percent. I've had periods of my life where I've been having pretty intimate stuff - physically, at least - going on with a number of people, very publically, and everybody involved is cool with it, but when somebody actually approached the subject of making it a serious thing I cut back the style of relationship I was having with the other parties involved.
Doesn't mean it wasn't awkward and took some adjusting, but I place a very high value on monogamy in a relationship even if I do have pretty liberal views on sex and physical intimacy.
As for him not being as affectionate or talkative... if you had an in-depth discussion about relationships which he later felt like perhaps he was being a dick then I know that would make me feel pretty withdrawn pretty quick.
From the situation you described, I would put it that he is interested in you, but both of the things you said at the end could well be contributing factors in holding him back. The dude obviously has very strong views on the importance of relationships and if you have a boyfriend already it would be the 'right' thing for him to make sure he doesn't do anything to endanger that. Similarly, if you do not know each other all that well, it is entirely possible he is interested - you're having deep discussions about relationships as a decent example - but does want to get to know you better.
I'd hang in there, don't push but make sure he has plenty of options open to hang out with you if he chooses, and see where it goes, if he is indeed somebody you'd like to become close to.
But I would think he wouldn't be willing to consider anything more than friendship while you are in a relationship of any kind with somebody else.
However, all this is just my own viewpoint on the things you've said and the way they've come across to me. I could be way off base, but I think certainly trying to get to know him a little better would be the best place to start.
Lines:
--- Quote from: NeverQuiteGoth on 09 Aug 2009, 12:32 ---
--- Quote from: Eviko on 04 Aug 2009, 21:41 ---In Seriousness.. I don't really want a romantic relationship with a male, but i would love some more male friends.. how do you befriend males without sending the wrong messages?
--- End quote ---
Befriend established couples. Its pretty much the only way. :|
--- End quote ---
No it's not. I have several single guy friends and this hasn't been a problem with any of them. If you want to avoid sending the wrong signals, invite guys to group things so they aren't confused as to whether or not it's a date or find similar interests and do activities that relate to that. Pretty much you make friends with guys the same way as girls. If you are a flirt (you don't sound like you are, but just in case), just tone it down.
And if they still try to "reject" you, tell them to stop being so silly.
calenlass:
Or you can be flirty if you must, but try and be equally flirty with all of them. This is easier if it is not something you really try to do but just happens. Also you can do what I recently did for one of my guy friends who has been asking me out on dates and out to dinner and stuff for months: after so many rejections, I finally told him, "Dude you know how girls put people on two lists, the fuckable list and the just-friends list? You are on the just-friends list. Sorry. Suck it up."
So far it has gone alright.
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