Fun Stuff > CHATTER
Please, Just Let Me Die Already
Masterbainter:
I kinda of had a little of that thought too, as I once dated a girl who liked to play. However, I think this girl really likes her friendship with him and doesn't want to lose him as a friend any more than he does her. So it's probably extremely confusing for her.
a pack of wolves:
--- Quote from: Masterbainter on 13 Aug 2009, 02:56 ---How would you feel if you were dating a girl and her guy friend was constantly trying to weasel his way in? You gonna sit back and be like, "Oh that's okay that he's totally wanting you and putting you in a awkward situation, baby!"? Trust me, you do that and your girl is gonna wonder if you even care for her and what you and her may have.
--- End quote ---
My girlfriend would tell me it was none of my damn business, and if I tried telling her she couldn't hang out with someone because they wanted to sleep with her I'd find myself unceremoniously dumped without much delay. Not everyone likes possessiveness, for a lot of people it's nothing but annoying and insulting.
Eris:
I would probably be the same way, although maybe not that extreme. I would also like to add that this guy isn't constantly trying to weasel his way in. As far as we know he has stated his intentions in the past, but just been a friend, especially when she had (has?) a boyfriend.
benji:
--- Quote from: Eris on 13 Aug 2009, 03:06 ---Sounds like not is not the only one fucking with people's heads. At least from his perspective. From what he has said it almost sounds as if she is trying to have her cake and eat it too, keeping him around but not making a commitment because she doesn't want to ruin blah blah blah.
--- End quote ---
This is my read on situation as well. Some people like to have someone in the bullpen. They'll date other people, but always have their "good friend" as a back-up plan. Sure Alan might leave me, but I can always hang out with Bob. In her head, she's probably just hanging out with Bob because she feels like she could use a friend like him, but the constant flirting keeps him in the prime position to be plan B if Plan Alan doesn't work out.
This nebulous position is where our friend Maxus finds himself. He is her plan B. To get out of that awkward position, he really needs to say how he feels. If she doesn't feel the same way, then they can go on being friends, but he should look for other people to buy expensive things for.
maxusy3k:
Masterbainter -
The situation as it is now is perfectly fine for me if she would cut out all the stuff which is constantly making other people go on about how much she is obviously into me. I certainly have no desire to screw up her relationships, if I was that kind of dude I would have strolled in guns blazing when we first got to know each other properly and I could at least console myself with the idea that "well the dude she is with now is a dick anyway so it's ok".
I'm certainly not trying to weasel my way in, constantly or otherwise... I've known her for three years and it's been like this the entire time. Was I biding my time? Yeah, I was, I'd thought maybe if - and at the time that was a big if - she finished with her boyfriend then I could make a move or whatever, but her finishing with her boyfriend coincided with me having to work 13 hour days on 6 day weeks to work towards repaying £2,000 of debt to the kinds of loan companies who will give loans to people with terrible credit, with interest rates through the roof. By the time I'd nearly gotten financially stable again, stable enough to have a social life, I lost my job.
Long story short, she finished with her boyfriend and then I physically didn't have the time or capacity to see her until she got with her new guy. Sucks for me, I guess.
I'm well aware of the ramifications if I do try something, especially at the moment, and that is essentially the reason that, in honesty, I will probably come really close to saying / doing something then not doing it because of the potential dramas.
I just feel like... especially after reading people's replies, that I need to do something or this is just going to be a thing hanging over me for however long.
In the course of knowing this girl I've 1) turned down an amazing job and relocation opportunity with Blizzard and 2) repeatedly shot down or brushed off other girls when they've tried to make moves. I'm starting to feel like something has to give eventually, even if it is just having a probably awkward conversation where she firmly tells me we are just friends and I ask her to please chill the fuck out with the flirting and everything else.
Edit: Also I told her once how I felt about her, literally once. I don't think that makes me a dude who is trying to push some other kind of relationship when only friendship is on the cards.
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