Fun Stuff > CHATTER
Please, Just Let Me Die Already
Aimless:
Dear relationship thread.
There's this lovely girl that works at my favourite café in sthlm. I've seen her there twice now, and both times we've spent a lot of time talking with each other even though I was there with friends and she (technically) was working. She seems to be just the kinda gal I like hanging out with: friendly, cheerful, hella cool. Cute as a button, too, like a slim blonde short-haired button with rosy cheeks and a husky voice and... well, yeah, she's cute.
Anyway, I've been there twice now without asking her if she'd like to go out for coffee or a drink. The first time I was in a rush and blanked, but that's all right. The second time, my friends started commenting and suddenly it wasn't all relaxed and fun anymore, and I started overthinking. Didn't ask her then either, barely said anything when I left 'cause I was feeling kinda rubbish. And now that I've begun to fret I can't make myself stop and am not sure what to do.
So here's the thing. It's her last day at work tomorrow, and she's moving to another town to study. Should I go and just ask her if she'd like to have coffee with me before she goes?
I'm absolutely not looking for anything but good company atm. It's just that I've gone out with a few strangers over these past few weeks in sthlm--just random people I've met--and while they've all been sweet and cute--and really great for my self-confidence :D--this is the first one I've met that I've really enjoyed talking with right from the start. I don't think we have some sorta special connection, we're just two similarly-mannered people who've happened to meet on good days. But I do feel like it'd be nice to hang out for a bit outside of work and without friends around, and that it'd be nice to be able to just relax instead of fretting like this.
So what do I do? Do I go in tomorrow even though I feel all anxious and uncertain and risk losing some of my confidence and ruining whatever good impression I may have made in the hope of getting to know someone new? Is the third time the charm?
Or is the third time best avoided? Do I just let it go, hide at home, and accept that my fabulous summer vacation is over? :(
A lesson that may or may not be generally applicable and useful for others in this thread: if possible, leave friends out of this sorta business. Some are great but some have a way of getting under your skin :x
This is ridiculous. I've gone out with people I've met at street-crossings, at stores, or while using public transportation, just for fun. Why can't this be fun and easy???
Aimless:
Emaline, it's right of you to expect more from your time with your bf. But it can be hard to break away from someone whom you feel is dependent on you. When forced to choose between one important person and another, you might just end up feeling like a dick no matter what you do, and that can be pretty rough.
Do you have any idea exactly why your bf isn't handling his ex and his new relationship with you they way he should be?
Like, what's his hangup? Not very eloquently put, but yeah. You said you understand his relationship with her better now. What is it that's keeping them from changing this really uncool dynamic?
Is there any way you could have a chat with his ex, maybe ask her what's up? She isn't isn't dependent on you after all, so a chat with you might be more fruitful, to begin with.
LeeC:
I havnt had a steady girlfriend in 8 years, I think there is something wrong with me. :|
Hat:
if you actually want advice we probably need a little more information
how often do you meet new people?
how good are you at talking to women?
what is your 'type' (not everybody has a type but I find the less dating experience a person has, the more likely they are convinced they do)
come on man, work with us a little here
NeverQuiteGoth:
--- Quote from: Hat on 17 Aug 2009, 17:17 ---if you actually want advice we probably need a little more information
...
come on man, work with us a little here
--- End quote ---
It's a trap!! Run, LeeC, run!
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