Fun Stuff > CHATTER

Please, Just Let Me Die Already

<< < (358/447) > >>

Mynah:
I know it's just a week, and a week isn't a big deal, and being busy for a whole week isn't all that uncommon.  However, I think that if you kiss someone out of nowhere and then just go home and don't respond to anything they send you... I don't know, it kind of comes across as rude and/or avoidant to me, even if it's just a week.  I mean, if I had gotten a better chance to ask him about it before he left, I probably wouldn't be concerned.  As it stands, though, I don't know whether he really likes me, if he was just feeling especially kissy, whether or not he is looking for a relationship, or anything like that, and I would very much like to know what's going on.  I don't think that's obsessive, or that I'm freaking out over it or anything like that.  I just don't think it's very nice to be like, "Oh hey, surprise kisses!  I'm gonna go now, so it's up to you to figure out whether or not I actually like you.  Bye!"

I probably should've added that he can't actually play WoW unless he's at my house.  He can't afford to pay for high speed internet, so he doesn't bother paying for his account anymore.  Now he just uses my brother's account when he's here.  So no, it's not a case of WoW addiction.  If it was, that would actually be nice, since I'm addicted to WoW myself, and we play on the same server.

And I know his phone isn't broken or anything, because my brother has successfully contacted him since then.  I just haven't had any such luck.

Barmymoo:
So I've known this guy for eleven years and I've loved him as long as I can remember. Last summer we had a conversation that basically established our feelings for each other, which are sadly not terribly compatible.

I guess I'm wondering, do you think that in general people's romantic interests in one another can alter over time? Is it possible that in two, three years from now he will realise he does actually love me romantically not just as a very good friend? Or am I being overly optimistic and thereby wasting opportunities to branch out and meet new people?

This isn't so much asking for advice as opinions. I don't really need any advice at this point; he doesn't love me so pestering him would be counter-productive but we are still good friends so avoiding him would be silly. Just wondered what you thought about long term developments of feelings.

For the record, when we met I was seven and he was seventeen. I'm now eighteen (and obviously he's twenty-eight) so it's no longer weird.

snalin:
Maybe that's the root of the problem? Even if he doesn't say that himself, or even know it, you being that little littel girl in his memories might disrupt any chances of romance. I'm not sure about this, but I can't really see myself in ten years being romantically interested in anyone that's 7 now, no matter how nice and beautiful they turn out. The point being that you've established roles, and since he has always been zecret crush to you, romantic feelings came easily. But if he's always been thinking of you as little young "sister" or something similar, you'll have a hard time changing that.

Aimless:
Never say never, but I'm inclined to agree with Snalin. If he sees you as a little sister and/or you see him kinda like a big brother... and you guys have had a heart-to-heart and found that you want different things from each other...

My opinion: you might want to let it go for now and reassess things in a few years' time.

I've occasionally seen a friend get together with eg. another friend's younger sibling, but the age-differences haven't been that great and they haven't really had a close relationship prior to getting together.






Update for me: it was bloody difficult to work up the nerve, but I asked her if she wanted to see me before she leaves town, she seemed to think it was a great idea and immediately gave me her name for facebooking purposes (woulda preferred a number, but hey) and I eventually left the café with my mates, all of us full of good food and quite pleased after a good day. I've been rained on today, and chilled to the bone by strong cold winds, my flipflopped feet turned into insensate lumps of flesh and bone... but I've been rather warm and fuzzy inside even so :) there's a good chance we won't meet up, but now I feel good, so...

... thank you relationship-advice-thread, for your advice and encouragement and overall inspiration :D

Alex C:
I'm afraid it does change the situation quite a bit when they already know you that well. I consider my sister's best friend to be pretty dateable, but there's only a 4 year age difference there and I never got to know her until fairly recently; in my mind she's just a cute 23 year old college grad who makes my gf really nervous. By contrast, my brother has 18 year old friends and I tend to think of them as kids, even the attractive ones. I can't get around the fact that they were kids as recently as a couple years ago, and frankly, a lot of them still act like it.

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

[*] Previous page