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Please, Just Let Me Die Already

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benji:
Right, there's those books out now that say the way to get women is to be rude to them, thus destroying their self-esteem. I always forget about those. Yeah, if that's what he's trying to do, forget him. You've got a boyfriend. If this guy's going to be rude all of a sudden, why spend the time trying to be his friend?

Jace:
Turns out this girl I've been digging on is someone I knew when I was a freshman in high school.

What the fuuuuuuck?

Emaline:
Eliza, this dude sounds like an ass no matter what. Why keep him around at all? It does sound like he is just trying to get laid, and you know what he is going to do once he gets what he wants from you? He is going to start completely ignoring you. And that'd be the nicest thing he'll do. Seriously, just delete him out of your phone and your life.

(And jesus! You have a boyfriend! What the hell are you doing worrying about this guy?? Even if you were single, my advice to you would be the same. But jesus, do yourself and your boyfriend a favor, fucking forget about this guy.)




I'm sorry my life is so depressing, guys. But I mean, its not terrible! I still love my Davis(my best friend). He is still the most awesomest dude/person ever in the whole entire world ever. And it's awesome to have people like that in your life.

and now I have two "relationship advice thread" questions.

1. Is there a nice way to turn someone down and still be friends with them? I have a friend who I am not nearly as close to as I am my Davis, and if I just turned him down, I'm pretty sure it'd completely sour our friendship. But he constantly hits on me! And its so creepy!  It makes me really completely uncomfortable. I don't know what to do.

2. How would you feel if your current boyfriend hung out with a girl that he used to  fool around with, alone? One of my very good friend and I used to sort of be a thing. We used to fool around a lot. I've only spent one naked night at his house. The same time we were fooling around, he was fooling around with another girl. Which was fine and dandy, because we were just friends who liked to play with each others bits. At some point, he and I sort of lost touch, and he and this girl got closer, and started dating. We started talking again right at the beginning of their official relationship. He is one of my really good friends, and the whole time I've known him he has been a bit mopey, but after they became a thing, he got incredibly happy, and this makes me incredibly happy. I love talking to him now because he is always in such a fanstastic mood, and it makes me very happy to know he is happy. Anyway, he and I haven't hung out in awhile, and I've been dying to  hang out again. His current lady is 32. I am 20. And he is 26. Overall, I've got no beef with hanging out with the both of them, but I just don't know. I don't think I'd have much in common with a 32 year old. I mean, "hey! Your boyfriend's dick has been in my mouth, too!" and "you're ten years younger than my mom!" don't seem like great conversations. So, basically, I kinda want to hang out with him alone, like we used to, minus the swapping of spit, and bodily fluids. I have no intentions of doing anything more than hanging out with him. He says she'd never have a problem with us, but I don't know. I don't want to screw things up for him. I really like that he is happy. Would it be strange for us to hang out alone?

KvP:
#1 - If the guy hits on you and creeps you out you ought to tell him to cut it out and you're not under any sort of moral obligation to spare his feelings. You'd probably be doing him a favor by showing him that women don't find such behavior acceptable. There might not be a way to let him down gently while also making it clear that what he's doing is creepy, but even if he gets angry and hates you for awhile, if he's the sort of person worth having around he'll get over it. As a general rule the longer you let this slide the harder it will be to put a stop to it. He could be under the impression that you like or are encouraging him. So give him all the assurances you can that you don't hate him and that you like him as a friend but you really aren't appreciating the way he acts. If he can't handle that, tough tits for him, you did what you could.

#2 - If you have no intention of messing around with this dude, and he has no intention of messing around with him, then there's honestly no problem. And this woman shouldn't have a problem, she's far too old to be jealous and possessive. It's obvious you're intimidated by the thought of this woman but I know a lot of people who are friends with their exes, and the exes are friends with their current lovers! You guys were never an item, you were fuck buddies, and she shouldn't be threatened by that. Don't rule out hanging out with the both of them. Have you met her before?

benji:
You're never too old for jealousy. I would say go ahead and invite her to hang out as well. If she doesn't think you'll have anything to say to each other, she can always be the one to say no, but by letting her be the one to say no, you make it clear that you're not trying to threaten her relationship with him.

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