Fun Stuff > CHATTER
Please, Just Let Me Die Already
Skibas_clavicle:
We're not all horrible monsters, Harry! Yah, but that does sum up most of us pretty well. However, this brief stint of people owning up to their Soviet heritage proves we are total hotties, though. Look at the evidence.
tania:
i hear people in moscow are douchebags too. my sister spent a year or so working there and made literally zero friends because nobody would talk to her beyond providing the absolute bare minimum help she needed with anything. there were a number of occasions where she tried to make eye contact with people and they would do this thing where they'd very obviously look away and in the opposite direction or, even worse, turn around and walk away from her in mid-conversation. she's actually a really outgoing talkative person too. i don't think i could ever go to russia because i am shy and afraid of everyone and the people would probably definitely make me cry.
Elizzybeth:
Okay, so, relationship thread, maybe you can help me.
The back story's pretty typical: When I was 15, I dated this guy with whom I was madly in love. I had lusted after him for a year, we went out for six months, and then he broke my heart. So it goes.
I've been dating this guy who I really do love for about a year. We're very compatible, he's incredibly sweet, we've got similar life goals, we've been living together for six months, and we have a lot of fun together most of the time. That said, I've never felt as consistently crazy about him as I did about that ex (in fact, I've never felt so consistently crazy about anyone else I've dated). I know, however, that in any kind of real, sustainable relationship, you're not going to be madly in love all the time. And I have plenty of moments where I'm all melty inside over my current boyfriend, even after a year together. So I'm in general not too worried about it.
The problem is that I've been having these weird dreams where I get all makey-outy and sometimes have sexytimes with that ex (who I haven't seen in about a year, mind you, and he has a girlfriend, and he's actually kind of an asshole). And I tell him about my boyfriend now. And I decide it's okay for me to cheat, because it feels good, and because I still love him. And I wake up feeling guilty--really, really guilty. I consider telling my boyfriend, but I feel like it'd be weird and would make him feel unnecessarily insecure.
Is it normal to have dreams like that? Do I subconsciously believe I'm "settling" for my boyfriend (maybe it's telling that I considered phrasing this question, "Am I settling...")? Am I being deceitful in not talking about this with him? Or is it okay for me to keep them mentally filed as a set of ridiculous dreams, try to forget them, and move on with my life?
Jimmy the Squid:
Yes. It is entirely normal to have dreams like that. No, in all likelihood you do not believe you are settling for your boyfriend. No, you are not at all being deceitful, it is just a dream, chill out. It is totally acceptable for you to file them away in your memory along with the lyrics to that Duran Duran song and the name of that guy you met at the post office and just lose it entirely. Whatever you do, DO NOT TELL HIM, ELIZZYBETH, WHAT ARE YOU STUPID??? It will just make him feel bad or that he's doing something wrong and really, it's probably just your psyche feeling a little sexy and dredging up a symbol of passion and lust from your subconcious.
It sounds like perhaps you are feeling a little bored in your current relationship, as you say you've been going out for a year and typically, or so I've read, every three months or so you tend to reevaluate your relationships, is it going well, is this guy right for me etc... That doesn't mean that anything is wrong and sounds perfectly natural to me. Also since you were 15 when you dated this other guy you probably were all madly in love with him but that's really just a side effect of all the crazy teenage hormones making you feel everything (not just love) much more accutely. My theory, based on limited information and entirely subject to change, is that maybe you're still in love with the ideal of your ex and the passion and lust that went along with that relationship even though he treated you badly and your current relationship sounds like a much better fit.
My advice, and if I had my masters degree I could say it was my professional opinion, is that you should maybe do something to make your current relationship a little more interesting. Go out somewhere you haven't been before/in ages. Have sex somewhere different than in the boring old bedroom (even if it's just somewhere else in the house, but make sure any housemates are out at the time). Try different positions, stuff you haven't done before, stuff you've both been fantasising about. Best case scenario is that it is all terribly sexy and awesome, worst case scenario someone falls over and gets lacerations/concussions/a broken coccyx and awkward questions at the emergency room. Any or all of these but particularly the last two would help to release some of the pent up sexual energy you might have that is bouncing around inside you and manifesting in sexy dreams about terrible guys.
The very fact that this worries you and makes you feel so guilty means that you probably have a pretty good relationship going there and that you're probably just feeling like it's a little humdrum. Some spontaneous action should alleviate that feeling.
nobo:
--- Quote from: 20 jazz funk greats on 17 Mar 2009, 21:17 ---
--- Quote from: nobo on 17 Mar 2009, 15:15 ---well, he is russian, and all russians are douchebags.
--- End quote ---
</3
--- End quote ---
I think that as a Pole my opinion is historically justified.
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