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[Masterbainter]

or to not not avoid it!

[Bastardous Bassist]

....Sure, we'll go with that?

[Professor Snuggles]

Masterbainter, do you post this awfully in other threads? I don't read a lot of them, so I could be mistaken, but god damn man you are horrid.

[Professor Snuggles]

Don't ban me guys I promise I'll start being unobtrusive and nice again soon.

[Emaline]

Why? I mean you are just being honest. Dude sucks.



Anyway, I didn't follow the advice of this thread for some relationship dilemma and it totally turned out fine! I am now dating a totally sweet amazing dude who was in a hella shitty relationship with a girl when I got involved.(Remember the dirty texts and whatnot? Well, come to find, that girl was regularly hitting on other dudes when they went out, ignoring him are clubs, and the first time they had sex was only because she wanted to have sex with another dude! Girl was not upset at all when they broke up, and I was there to instantly cheer dude up! by buying him Smashing Pumpkins vinyl!)

And then I once did follow the advice, and dude stopped pending so much time on the phone, took my out to a movie at a fancy theater, and didn't even look at his phone the whole night on our date last night!


So basically, uh, I agree with Lunchy and Tania. And you just have to go out and do what you need to, and keep smiling. Things will end up ok. Honestly.


And don't make fun of xkcd fans and their relationships. In my experience, they are probably have better sex than most.


And Wizard, that is awesome! Wooo awesome relationships!

[evilbobthebob]

I am not specifically making fun of xkcd fans and their relationships, I was more pointing out that similar threads in other forums are at roughly the same level of "Oh just get a life dammit" as this one can be. I'm a fan of xkcd myself so 

[Scandanavian War Machine]

the answer is yes.

just make sure to use the least annoying Deerhoof songs you can to stack the odds a little more in your favor.

[Bastardous Bassist]

Might not be the best idea, because what if they end up playing one of the most annoying songs at the show, and she hates it and is miserable most of the time?  I'd say ease her into Deerhoof a little bit, but don't trick her into thinking she likes a band by only playing her the least representative songs of that band.  Aside from that advice, definitely ask her out.  I recently met this chick who plays violin (I love non-rock musicians) and asked her to a show that I thought she would enjoy.  It turned out to be the best date I've ever had...with a girl who already has a boyfriend.

[Liz]

Jens if you don't I am going to reach my fist through the tubes and punch you in the face.

[Lines]

Yes, Jens, YES.

[20 jazz funk greats]

i don't know about the deerhoof part. i mean i don't listen to them but based on what i've heard about them from other people, they're an acquired taste. so you have to consider what this lady already listens to and how willing she is to broaden her musical horizons.

but you can't really go wrong with a mixtape.

[a pack of wolves]

Nah, Deerhoof are pretty damn pop and accessible. Then again I'm listening to horrible grindcore right now and I put this kind of thing on mixtapes for girls, so what the fuck do I know. I still say it's an excellent plan though, because even if she doesn't like it you can be all "well maybe seeing them live will change your mind".

[Bastardous Bassist]

The thing is, you don't want her coming with you to a show that she hates and you love.  If you both love it, it's great, if you both hate it, it can be okay (I've gone on dates like that), but you can't love it and have her hate it.

And Deerhoof is not accessible, or maybe they're accessible, but not something everyone likes, because I can't stand them, but I also haven't listened to them much.

[calenlass]

Jens what he is saying is that we should never date.

[ViolentDove]

'lationship thread: This girl. She wanst me to make her a mixtape. Deerhoof are playing next month and I have two tickets. Do I put Deerhoof on the mix and ask if she likes them and ask her out if she does? y/n

(this sly plot was brought to you by Sisterly Advice)

Yes. This is a good idea. Even if she says no, or does not enjoy the concert it will not stop it from being a good idea.

[a pack of wolves]

The thing is, you don't want her coming with you to a show that she hates and you love.  If you both love it, it's great, if you both hate it, it can be okay (I've gone on dates like that), but you can't love it and have her hate it.

And Deerhoof is not accessible, or maybe they're accessible, but not something everyone likes, because I can't stand them, but I also haven't listened to them much.

There's nothing everyone likes though, and I've actually had some good dates going to something I really hate that the other person loved and vice versa. Ended up with a whole 'that's really great you saw that with me even though you didn't like it' thing.

[Bastardous Bassist]

Oh, ask her to the show, definitely, but you should definitely play her some representative Deerhoof so that she won't feel tricked going to a show that she thought would be one thing and ended up something else.  And if she says that she doesn't want to go because she doesn't like them, then just ask her to dinner, or whatever cool kids do on a date these days.

[onewheelwizzard]

This isn't really relationship advice, or a call for it, but the sex I had last night resulted in me having a 5-minute orgasm.  It was completely unbelievable.  I got my world seriously rocked.

Oh, yeah.  Mixtapes.  Um, I should do that more often.

[Bastardous Bassist]

5 minutes!?  That's phenomenal.  Most sex I have doesn't last...  I mean, I'M GREAT IN BED, LADIES!

I can't do mix tapes.  I'd just agonize over every song that I put on there way too much.

[Coward]

This isn't really relationship advice, or a call for it, but the sex I had last night resulted in me having a 5-minute orgasm.  It was completely unbelievable.  I got my world seriously rocked.

Ah, the dreaded 'gusher'. You have my deepest sympathies.

[Lines]

Guys, the point isn't about which band he's asking her to see, it's that he's making her a mixtape and then asking her to see one of the bands on it. This scores major points, at least in my book.

[Aimless]

Five minutes??! Uninterrupted??! Bloody hell, I didn't know that was physiologically possible for a guy. Damn.

I'd prolly be all cramped-up and squealing with pain by the end of that :S

Mixtapes though... I mean, CDs, yeah. I have no idea who Deerhof are, but that's a pretty cool idea. Dinner's also a good idea. Do both!

[Bastardous Bassist]

Oh, he should definitely ask her out.  I never said that he shouldn't.  I was just saying that it might be a poor idea to put "the least annoying Deerhoof songs" on there, which I felt would misrepresent Deerhoof, and be disingenuous.  Using trickery is never a good idea.  I probably didn't clearly illustrate that my problem was with that suggestion, and only that suggestion.

Both is great, by the way, because you need to eat before going to a show so that you can have energy to rock out!

[a pack of wolves]

Five minutes??! Uninterrupted??! Bloody hell, I didn't know that was physiologically possible for a guy. Damn.

I'd prolly be all cramped-up and squealing with pain by the end of that :S

Yeah, that fully sounds like the gush. He probably doesn't have long to live now.

[BrittanyMarie]

JensYens, do it. I would love a boy forever if he did that, even if I thought the band sucked. Maybe she will like the openers if she doesn't like Deerhoof? Maybe she will go even if she doesn't like them because she likes you!

*sorry boring page break!

[Bastardous Bassist]

No way!  This is great advice on the page break, without any other discussions going on.  And from an actual female, too!  So you know it's good.

[Masterbainter]

Don't ban me guys I promise I'll start being unobtrusive and nice again soon.

It's okay I don't have the same sense of humor as everyone else, so I don't expect others to have the same sense I do.

However, it is pretty lame you have to use personal attacks, but whatever you feel righteous doing, I suppose.

... Also, emaline you promised you would ignore me, so how would you know if I sucked currently or not?   

[onewheelwizzard]

Five minutes??! Uninterrupted??! Bloody hell, I didn't know that was physiologically possible for a guy. Damn.

I'd prolly be all cramped-up and squealing with pain by the end of that :S

Cramped up, yeah.  Squealing, almost.  Pain?  Not exactly.  But I was definitely incapacitated.  I couldn't focus my eyes for at least 15 minutes, I know that much.  I don't think I was capable of putting a coherent sentence together for about as long.  It's not exactly something you just bounce back from.  I needed serious recovery time after that.

[Liz]

quick Liz, go to the Relationship thread and explain your situation and at the end ask if the boy really likes you or not! What should you dooooo?

GUYS there is this boy that I've like for a while and he has liked me for a while and on Saturday I went to a party at his place and we flirted and then he was all "I like you a lot!" and I was all "OMG me too" and there were kisses and such and then I went over again on Monday night and there were kisses and we boned and last night we hung out together and got some food and some some bluegrass music and then we had some kisses and we boned again and he told me he liked me again and I told him I liked him again and god I'm so confused I don't know if he likes me.

DOES HE LIKE ME.

[Gemmwah]

I wish I could sigquote that entire post.

[Lines]

I DON'T KNOW LIZ! I DON'T KNOW IF HE LIKES YOU!

(Go you!)

[Bastardous Bassist]

That's a tough one.  I mean, on one hand, he said he likes you.  On the other hand, maybe he doesn't.  What you should do is stay on the internet until we can divine whether or not he likes you.

[öde]

Try ignoring him or being a complete bitch to him, to see how much he likes you.

[Alex C]

I'm not sure I could bone to bluegrass.

[Alex C]

I know that her time line doesn't really indicate whether that actually happened or not, but it still came to mind.

[Lines]

It's ok, I wouldn't be able to bone to bluegrass either. I like it, but it's not really the sexiest of music genres.

[Barmymoo]

I believe, although I have not tested the theory, that Liz can bone to any music.

Guys, I have a question about relationships in the wider sense of the word (as in, I am talking about a friend rather than a romantic/love/sex interest).

I have a friend and she is very insecure and needy. This is an accepted and understood fact, and we've worked round it for the last year or so. We've always got on really well although at some point she has fallen out with each of our other friends over something very minor, and held a grudge about it for several weeks. I naively believed it wouldn't happen to me so it was a shock to get a very long text this morning accusing me of all kinds of friendship-neglect and dismissing her, etc etc. Her main complaint appears to be that I did not reply to her most recent text (this is true, it was an oversight which I've apologised for) and that I am happy that I got into Cambridge.

Leaving aside what seems to be a bit of a jealousy issue, I was wondering who you thought was in the wrong here. She's absolutely right that I haven't seen her much in the last few weeks, because I've been home for three days since July 21st. We did make plans to meet up when I got back from America (tentative plans months ago) but I was much too tired and had completely forgotten. I've apologised for that too. And she's right that I didn't speak to her much yesterday at the results day because I was so stressed and panicky and busy with trying to sort out what the hell was going on. But I feel like she's overreacting to something that really isn't a huge issue; other than yesterday, I had seen her most recently out of all my college friends. The only reason she didn't come out with us to celebrate our grades is that she lives about thirty miles away and has no car.

Whilst I can see her point of view, I feel as though her incredible insecurities are making her self-destructive. This isn't the first time she has accused someone of not being a good enough friend (and thereby ensured they are not her friend at all), so it isn't a personal slight to me. And in the interests of giving you the full picture, I do like hanging out with her and she can be very kind and is probably the most sympathetic friend I have when I need to cry on someone's shoulder, but her emotional issues and her rather judgemental attitude to life means she isn't really much fun to be with. My main concern is that I don't want to move away to uni knowing that I've left behind a smashed-up friendship, but I can't see us being best buddies forever once I lived three hundred miles away.

Tl;dr am I a bad friend or is she a bit melodramatic?

[Lines]

She's a bit melodramatic.

[Bastardous Bassist]

Have you ever told her that you think she might be a bit too much at times?  That's a difficult thing to do, granted.  She might realize that she's not being a great friend, or she might get really pissed off.  You'd also have to phrase it really well.  If you think it might work, it'd probably be worth it, but don't take my word for it.  Wait for a few more opinions.

[onewheelwizzard]

You're not a bad friend, and she is a bit melodramatic, but that's not that big a deal ultimately.  Just do what you can and don't be offended when it's not enough for her.  Sooner or later she'll figure out how to take care of herself to the extent that she won't need her friends to bend over backwards.  That process isn't going to be helped if you let her push you to act out of frustration or spite (so remove yourself when she gets to be too much for you) but it's also not going to be helped if you refuse to do anything for her at all (so be the friend that you would want someone to be for you).

The distance issue is what it is.  Don't sweat it too much.

[Aimless]

Have you ever told her that you think she might be a bit too much at times?  That's a difficult thing to do, granted.  She might realize that she's not being a great friend, or she might get really pissed off.  You'd also have to phrase it really well.  If you think it might work, it'd probably be worth it, but don't take my word for it.  Wait for a few more opinions.

100% this, without being too hurtful or without sounding too defensive.

[Liz]

I wish I could sigquote that entire post.

I wish you could too. I am proud of it. Maybe pick the best bits and leave some out?

(he is saying BILLL)

Thanks for telling my boy's name to the whole internet. You fuck. (kidding <3)

That's a tough one.  I mean, on one hand, he said he likes you.  On the other hand, maybe he doesn't.  What you should do is stay on the internet until we can divine whether or not he likes you.

Okay.

Try ignoring him or being a complete bitch to him, to see how much he likes you.

No.

I know that her time line doesn't really indicate whether that actually happened or not, but it still came to mind.

We saw some live bluegrass and then we went and boned.

I believe, although I have not tested the theory, that Liz can bone to any music.

This is completely true.

[Aimless]

While it has nothing to do with relationships, I'd just like to thank you for mentioning bluegrass. It's been a long long time since I last got hooked on it. Far too long

You guys like listening to bluegrass together. You like eating together. And you quite obviously like boning each other. I'm confused... what are the odds of you two not liking each other? =P

[BrittanyMarie]

(that was the point, she was being funny. ALSO LIZ I WANT TO SEE A PICTURE OF HIM TO MAKE SURE HE IS CUTE) (ALSO GOOD JOB BUDDY)

[Lines]

(ME TOO! MUST JUDGE HIM ON THE CUTENESS SCALE!)

[calenlass]

Guys if there is a boy that I would like to makeout with but he is not into casual things what do I do?

[KvP]

I take it you're not into non-casual things at this point? Just straight up ask him I guess. He might make an exception. There might not be much else you can do outside of deception. But then, I am not a creative type.

So I went to a show put on by my friend's band, where I was introduced to a stunningly beautiful poli sci MA recipient at my college (a bit older than myself, but that just seems to make her more attrative). We talked about school pretty avidly until the fucking openers drowned out our convo and she was smart and funny and I think I acquitted myself pretty well. She left, and I was hoping she'd be at the afterparty, thus I went. I did not see her BUT I did meet a cute hipster girl (with piercings and a chestpiece and everything) who I debated technical and art design in video games with for a good hour and a half. She was there with a guy who was either a boyfriend or a good friend (apparently they have separate beds, so maybe?) but man, she is adorable and brassy and I think I like her.

[Lunchbox]

Can everyone please stop using the word bone

[Bastardous Bassist]

Guys if there is a boy that I would like to makeout with but he is not into casual things what do I do?

I disagree with the just asking and hoping he'll make an exception.  Even if he does make an exception, he might not be into casual things because he can't keep them casual, and that would be something regrettable.

[Alex C]

Yeah, you have every right to be up front with what you want and see if he's willing to give it a shot, but that doesn't necessarily make it a good idea. If you're really just after makeouts with a reasonably decent person than you can probably afford to hold out a while longer until you find someone more amenable.