THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

  • 26 Jul 2025, 00:48
  • Welcome, Guest
Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: [1]   Go Down

Author Topic: warning?  (Read 22294 times)

frullic

  • Furry furrier
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 186
  • Warning: Contents under parental pressure.
    • An Adventurer is Me!
warning?
« on: 13 Apr 2009, 09:09 »
what do you think was on the GSX 9500's warning on the box?
Logged
(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

JD

  • coprophage
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 7,803
  • The Phallussar
Re: warning?
« Reply #1 on: 13 Apr 2009, 09:21 »
Do not put in reach of children.
Logged
Quote from: Jimmy the Squid
Hey JD, I really like your penis, man.

Mein Tumblr

Border Reiver

  • Born in a Nalgene bottle
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,189
  • Yes, I painted this.
    • The Pet Patch
Re: warning?
« Reply #2 on: 13 Apr 2009, 09:34 »
Do not operate heavy machinery after using.
Logged
"It's a futile gesture that my sense of right and wrong tells me I should make." Is It Cold Here, 19 Mar 2013, 02:12

Random832

  • Bizarre cantaloupe phobia
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 234
Re: warning?
« Reply #3 on: 13 Apr 2009, 12:16 »
Caution: GSX9500 may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds. GSX9500 contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at. Do not use GSX9500 on concrete. Discontinue use of GSX9500 if any of the following occurs: itching, vertigo, dizziness, tingling in extremities, loss of balance or coordination, slurred speech, temporary blindness, profuse sweating, or heart palpitations. If GSX9500 begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head. GSX9500 may stick to certain types of skin. When not in use, GSX9500 should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the makers of GSX9500 of any and all liability. Ingredients of GSX9500 include an unknown glowing green substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space. GSX9500 has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq. Do not taunt GSX9500. GSX9500 comes with a lifetime warranty.
Logged

Jimor

  • Lovecraftian nightmare
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2,763
    • Twitch Channel
Re: warning?
« Reply #4 on: 13 Apr 2009, 12:34 »
Quote from: Random832 on 13 Apr 2009, 12:16
GSX9500 comes with a lifetime warranty.

"I'd like a refund."

"And why is that, sir?"

"It killed my wife."

"Well I'm afraid that means the warranty has expired. Good day."
Logged
Twitch I play games and hang out with friends.

Zingoleb

  • Guest
Re: warning?
« Reply #5 on: 13 Apr 2009, 12:48 »
Quote from: Random832 on 13 Apr 2009, 12:16
Do not taunt GSX9500.

Your wife probably ignored this warning.
Logged

JacobSnickers

  • Guest
Re: warning?
« Reply #6 on: 13 Apr 2009, 17:50 »
Logged

Jeff7

  • Furry furrier
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 176
Re: warning?
« Reply #7 on: 13 Apr 2009, 18:29 »
May cause immaculate insemination.

Logged

Jimor

  • Lovecraftian nightmare
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2,763
    • Twitch Channel
Re: warning?
« Reply #8 on: 13 Apr 2009, 18:30 »
Quote from: Zingoleb on 13 Apr 2009, 12:48
Quote from: Random832 on 13 Apr 2009, 12:16
Do not taunt GSX9500.

Your wife probably ignored this warning.

Well, you know how Doms are...
Logged
Twitch I play games and hang out with friends.

KickThatBathProf

  • Duck attack survivor
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,973
  • hey there
Re: warning?
« Reply #9 on: 13 Apr 2009, 19:50 »
Quote from: JacobSnickers on 13 Apr 2009, 17:50

Oh man.  The GSX9500 is really HAL 9000 in dildo form.  We are all doomed.
Logged
Quote from: beats15g on 05 Dec 2010, 23:31
dumplings are the answer because the foreskin boys

Spluff

  • William Gibson's Babydaddy
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2,410
  • it is time to party
Re: warning?
« Reply #10 on: 13 Apr 2009, 19:53 »
Point away from face.
Logged
[16:27] Ozy:  has joined the room
[16:27] Quietus: porn necklace!
[16:27] Quietus: Shove it up yer vag!
[16:27] Ozy: has left the room

frullic

  • Furry furrier
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 186
  • Warning: Contents under parental pressure.
    • An Adventurer is Me!
Re: warning?
« Reply #11 on: 13 Apr 2009, 20:20 »
Quote from: Random832 on 13 Apr 2009, 12:16
Caution: GSX9500 may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds. GSX9500 contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at. Do not use GSX9500 on concrete. Discontinue use of GSX9500 if any of the following occurs: itching, vertigo, dizziness, tingling in extremities, loss of balance or coordination, slurred speech, temporary blindness, profuse sweating, or heart palpitations. If GSX9500 begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head. GSX9500 may stick to certain types of skin. When not in use, GSX9500 should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the makers of GSX9500 of any and all liability. Ingredients of GSX9500 include an unknown glowing green substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space. GSX9500 has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq. Do not taunt GSX9500. GSX9500 comes with a lifetime warranty.

You have won THE GAME
Logged
(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

Shmee

  • Plantmonster
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 31
Re: warning?
« Reply #12 on: 13 Apr 2009, 20:26 »
Quote from: Random832 on 13 Apr 2009, 12:16
Caution: GSX9500 may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds. GSX9500 contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at. Do not use GSX9500 on concrete. Discontinue use of GSX9500 if any of the following occurs: itching, vertigo, dizziness, tingling in extremities, loss of balance or coordination, slurred speech, temporary blindness, profuse sweating, or heart palpitations. If GSX9500 begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head. GSX9500 may stick to certain types of skin. When not in use, GSX9500 should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the makers of GSX9500 of any and all liability. Ingredients of GSX9500 include an unknown glowing green substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space. GSX9500 has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq. Do not taunt GSX9500. GSX9500 comes with a lifetime warranty.

Happy Fun Ball?
Logged

Kugai

  • CIA Handler of Miss Melody Powers
  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 11,493
  • Crazy Kiwi Shoujo-Ai Fan
    • My Homepage
Re: warning?
« Reply #13 on: 13 Apr 2009, 23:17 »
Quote from: KickThatBathProf on 13 Apr 2009, 19:50
Quote from: JacobSnickers on 13 Apr 2009, 17:50

Oh man.  The GSX9500 is really HAL 9000 in dildo form.  We are all doomed.

I'm sorry KickThatBathProf, this conversation can serve no further purpose.


:D
Logged
James The Kugai 

You can never have too much Coffee.

akronnick

  • Only pretending to work
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2,188
  • I'm freakin' out, man!!!!
Re: warning?
« Reply #14 on: 13 Apr 2009, 23:45 »
Why don't you take a stress pill and we can talk about this.
Logged
Akronnick, I can think of no more appropriate steed for a Knight Of The Dickbroom than a foul-mouthed, perpetually shouting, lust-crazed bird with a scrotum hanging from its chin and a distinctive cry of "Gobble gobble gobble".   --Tergon

JD

  • coprophage
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 7,803
  • The Phallussar
Re: warning?
« Reply #15 on: 14 Apr 2009, 03:53 »
Do not overuse
Logged
Quote from: Jimmy the Squid
Hey JD, I really like your penis, man.

Mein Tumblr

ndperfesser

  • Plantmonster
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 45
Re: warning?
« Reply #16 on: 14 Apr 2009, 09:06 »
Quote from: Random832 on 13 Apr 2009, 12:16
Caution: GSX9500 may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds. GSX9500 contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at. Do not use GSX9500 on concrete. Discontinue use of GSX9500 if any of the following occurs: itching, vertigo, dizziness, tingling in extremities, loss of balance or coordination, slurred speech, temporary blindness, profuse sweating, or heart palpitations. If GSX9500 begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head. GSX9500 may stick to certain types of skin. When not in use, GSX9500 should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the makers of GSX9500 of any and all liability. Ingredients of GSX9500 include an unknown glowing green substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space. GSX9500 has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq. Do not taunt GSX9500. GSX9500 comes with a lifetime warranty.

Do not feed the GSX9500 after midnight
Logged

JacobSnickers

  • Guest
Re: warning?
« Reply #17 on: 14 Apr 2009, 12:33 »
It doesn't even need a warning label.

Let me put it this way, Mr. KickThatBathProf. The 9500 series is the most reliable vibrator ever made. No 9500 vibrator has ever made a mistake or distorted information. They are all, by any practical definition of the words, foolproof and incapable of error.
Logged

Zingoleb

  • Guest
Re: warning?
« Reply #18 on: 14 Apr 2009, 12:47 »
Does this mean it cannot penetrate fools?

So many idiots trying to place machinery in their genitals but unable to. Sad.
Logged

Rocketman

  • Pneumatic ratchet pants
  • ***
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 310
  • A little bitter.
Re: warning?
« Reply #19 on: 14 Apr 2009, 14:57 »
Do not use while plugged into wall.
Logged

bicostp

  • Beyoncé
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 734
Re: warning?
« Reply #20 on: 14 Apr 2009, 20:56 »
Do not look into the operational end of the GSX 9500.
Under no circumstances should you ever *static*
Logged

akronnick

  • Only pretending to work
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2,188
  • I'm freakin' out, man!!!!
Re: warning?
« Reply #21 on: 14 Apr 2009, 21:03 »
GSX-9500 has entered the base!
GSX-9500 has entere....*krrrrkrrkkrr*
Logged
Akronnick, I can think of no more appropriate steed for a Knight Of The Dickbroom than a foul-mouthed, perpetually shouting, lust-crazed bird with a scrotum hanging from its chin and a distinctive cry of "Gobble gobble gobble".   --Tergon

Is it cold in here?

  • Administrator
  • Awakened
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 25,163
  • He/him/his pronouns
Re: warning?
« Reply #22 on: 14 Apr 2009, 22:52 »
Do not insert in ear canal.
Logged
Thank you, Dr. Karikó.

plethora

  • Larger than most fish
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 118
  • fluff fluff fluff
Re: warning?
« Reply #23 on: 15 Apr 2009, 04:30 »
The first time I saw that "Warning" on the box, I thought it said "wang". True story.
Logged

Is it cold in here?

  • Administrator
  • Awakened
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 25,163
  • He/him/his pronouns
Re: warning?
« Reply #24 on: 15 Apr 2009, 17:22 »
"Caution: Wet Floor"
Logged
Thank you, Dr. Karikó.

Tybalt

  • Bizarre cantaloupe phobia
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 215
  • Can't always unscramble eggs
Re: warning?
« Reply #25 on: 15 Apr 2009, 17:49 »
Caution:  Children Xing
Logged
...and that's why I eat bugs.

Is it cold in here?

  • Administrator
  • Awakened
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 25,163
  • He/him/his pronouns
Re: warning?
« Reply #26 on: 15 Apr 2009, 23:36 »
Do not use this product while operating heavy machinery.
Logged
Thank you, Dr. Karikó.

Shmee

  • Plantmonster
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 31
Re: warning?
« Reply #27 on: 18 Apr 2009, 08:52 »
Quote from: ndperfesser on 14 Apr 2009, 09:06
Do not feed the GSX9500 after midnight

What would one feed it?  :O
Logged

Rocketman

  • Pneumatic ratchet pants
  • ***
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 310
  • A little bitter.
Re: warning?
« Reply #28 on: 18 Apr 2009, 10:10 »
Quote from: Shmee on 18 Apr 2009, 08:52
Quote from: ndperfesser on 14 Apr 2009, 09:06
Do not feed the GSX9500 after midnight

What would one feed it?  :O

It feeds on virginity.
Logged

DoubleJ

  • Plantmonster
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 41
Re: warning?
« Reply #29 on: 18 Apr 2009, 13:48 »
Logged

LTK

  • Methuselah's mentor
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 5,009
Re: warning?
« Reply #30 on: 18 Apr 2009, 15:52 »
Do not expose to direct sunlight, as the device may be prone to melting, and the neighbours might see it.
Logged
Quote from: snalin
I just got the image of a midwife and a woman giving birth swinging towards each other on a trapeze - when they meet, the midwife pulls the baby out. The knife juggler is standing on the floor and cuts the umbilical cord with a a knifethrow.

Is it cold in here?

  • Administrator
  • Awakened
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 25,163
  • He/him/his pronouns
Re: warning?
« Reply #31 on: 18 Apr 2009, 16:09 »
Wear protective clothing when using this device.
Logged
Thank you, Dr. Karikó.

raoullefere

  • Duck attack survivor
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,610
  • Rock 'n Roll is cool, Daddy, and you know it!
Re: warning?
« Reply #32 on: 18 Apr 2009, 17:34 »
If you happen to own a Cyber-Surrogate Male Companion (commonly known as a 'Robotic Boyfriend'), attach the GSX 9500 as an accessory at your own risk. Don't say we didn't warn you. Because we did. If you're reading this, Hannelore, yes, this means YOU. Love, Dad.
p.s. Ahhhh-haa-ha-ha- ha-ha!
« Last Edit: 18 Apr 2009, 17:46 by raoullefere »
Logged
GOM (Grumpy Old Men): Complaining about attire, trespassing, loud music, and general cheerfulness since before you were born, Missy.

JD

  • coprophage
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 7,803
  • The Phallussar
Re: warning?
« Reply #33 on: 18 Apr 2009, 21:39 »
So the bait and tackle are out of beta?
Logged
Quote from: Jimmy the Squid
Hey JD, I really like your penis, man.

Mein Tumblr

Is it cold in here?

  • Administrator
  • Awakened
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 25,163
  • He/him/his pronouns
Re: warning?
« Reply #34 on: 19 Apr 2009, 22:55 »
What if the warning said "For external use only"?
Logged
Thank you, Dr. Karikó.

LTK

  • Methuselah's mentor
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 5,009
Re: warning?
« Reply #35 on: 21 Apr 2009, 14:35 »
"EPIC EQUIPMENT. PLEASE USE RESPONSIBLY."
Logged
Quote from: snalin
I just got the image of a midwife and a woman giving birth swinging towards each other on a trapeze - when they meet, the midwife pulls the baby out. The knife juggler is standing on the floor and cuts the umbilical cord with a a knifethrow.

Kugai

  • CIA Handler of Miss Melody Powers
  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 11,493
  • Crazy Kiwi Shoujo-Ai Fan
    • My Homepage
Re: warning?
« Reply #36 on: 21 Apr 2009, 17:09 »
'Do not use in Zero Gravity locations'
Logged
James The Kugai 

You can never have too much Coffee.

Is it cold in here?

  • Administrator
  • Awakened
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 25,163
  • He/him/his pronouns
Re: warning?
« Reply #37 on: 21 Apr 2009, 18:44 »
Logged
Thank you, Dr. Karikó.

Wagimawr

  • Balloon animal serial killer
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 91
    • Facebook
Re: warning?
« Reply #38 on: 22 Apr 2009, 20:14 »
Come with this if you want to live.
Logged

akronnick

  • Only pretending to work
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2,188
  • I'm freakin' out, man!!!!
Re: warning?
« Reply #39 on: 22 Apr 2009, 22:19 »
two words:

Guh, Roan!!!
Logged
Akronnick, I can think of no more appropriate steed for a Knight Of The Dickbroom than a foul-mouthed, perpetually shouting, lust-crazed bird with a scrotum hanging from its chin and a distinctive cry of "Gobble gobble gobble".   --Tergon

raoullefere

  • Duck attack survivor
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,610
  • Rock 'n Roll is cool, Daddy, and you know it!
Re: warning?
« Reply #40 on: 22 Apr 2009, 22:41 »
I'm not sure 'Guh' is a word. I think it otomatopia automatopia a soundy thing.
Logged
GOM (Grumpy Old Men): Complaining about attire, trespassing, loud music, and general cheerfulness since before you were born, Missy.

celticgeek

  • GET ON THE NIGHT TRAIN
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2,697
  • Linux Geek
    • The Celtic Geek
Re: warning?
« Reply #41 on: 22 Apr 2009, 22:43 »
As in:  Galinda, with a "guh."  Yes, Onomatopoeia
Logged
a 'dčanamh nan saighdean airson cinneadh MacLeňid
We Wear Woad When We Write Code
Ní féidir liom labhairt na Gaeilge.
Seachd reultan, agus seachd clachan, agus aon chraobh geal.

Is it cold in here?

  • Administrator
  • Awakened
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 25,163
  • He/him/his pronouns
Re: warning?
« Reply #42 on: 23 Apr 2009, 14:54 »
I thought of a great one but it's too creepy.

In its place I'll offer "harmful or fatal if swallowed".
Logged
Thank you, Dr. Karikó.

Zingoleb

  • Guest
Re: warning?
« Reply #43 on: 26 Apr 2009, 15:35 »
Post the creepy one.

POST THE FUCKING CREEPY ONE.
Logged

JD

  • coprophage
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 7,803
  • The Phallussar
Re: warning?
« Reply #44 on: 26 Apr 2009, 15:49 »
Why the hell not? post it.
Logged
Quote from: Jimmy the Squid
Hey JD, I really like your penis, man.

Mein Tumblr

Kugai

  • CIA Handler of Miss Melody Powers
  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 11,493
  • Crazy Kiwi Shoujo-Ai Fan
    • My Homepage
Re: warning?
« Reply #45 on: 26 Apr 2009, 17:20 »
'May cause eyes to bleed'
Logged
James The Kugai 

You can never have too much Coffee.
Pages: [1]   Go Up
« previous next »