Once I was told what separates boys from "
guys". Roughly translated: boys want, guys can.
In the society I live in, I think that becoming a man amounts to "getting your shit together"--managing your life well, achieving financial independence, developing professionally (so that you're "going somewhere").
To me, becoming a man is about:
1.
Getting to know yourself: what do you want in life? What drives you? What matters to you? What do you think you will have to do in order to achieve satisfaction/happiness? Who are important to you? What are your strengths and weaknesses in different situations? And so on.
And I'd say a boy is in the early stages of this process of self-discovery, whereas a man has come some part of the way, has at least gotten his bearings.
2.
Understanding consequences for yourself and for others: what you do, think, say, can significanly affect those around you; what others do, think, say, can significantly affect you.
And I'd say that maturing from a boy to a man in this regard entails becoming aware of this and, as a result, behaving more responsibly. Someone who doesn't understand (or can't accept) that his actions can hurt someone else is, in my view, still a child.
In summary, I think that getting from boyhood to manhood is about finding your place--in yourself, and in the world. What you do from there on can determine what kind of a man you'll be
-- P
PS. Summary 2: joining the mainland. No man is an island!