Topic: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated (Read 88543 times)

MadassAlex · « **Reply #200 on:** 21 Apr 2009, 22:37 »

I can see how people love them when I consider the matter intellectually, but I must agree.

Covetous · « **Reply #201 on:** 22 Apr 2009, 00:10 »

Sexually frustrated is being turned on by/when writing C (the programming language ofc.).

Patrick · « **Reply #202 on:** 22 Apr 2009, 05:53 »

Sexually frustrated is what happens when you start thinking of Nicholas Sparks novels as romantic.

Lines · « **Reply #203 on:** 22 Apr 2009, 06:11 »

I am a few pages too late, but I want a ring pop.

Dollface · « **Reply #204 on:** 22 Apr 2009, 06:49 »

I would be evil if i do this.

Quote from: Linds on 22 Apr 2009, 06:11

I am a few pages too late, but I want a ring ~~pop~~ job.

I so glad that i didnt do that that would made me a horrible horrible person and it would show poor sense of humor.

Edit: how the hell two missing letters can change whole meaning of that sentence.

Lines · « **Reply #205 on:** 22 Apr 2009, 06:52 »

Yeah, that was gross! Thank you for posting!

Jimmy the Squid · « **Reply #206 on:** 22 Apr 2009, 07:08 »

Is five pages in too late to bring up the fact that I'm more than a little sexually frustrated myself?

0bsessions · « **Reply #207 on:** 22 Apr 2009, 07:16 »

Yes, Jimmy, you missed your window.

Jimmy the Squid · « **Reply #208 on:** 22 Apr 2009, 07:18 »

Well fuck me.

Covetous · « **Reply #209 on:** 22 Apr 2009, 07:45 »

You would like that, wouldn't you?

Jimmy the Squid · « **Reply #210 on:** 22 Apr 2009, 08:04 »

That depends on your sexual organs and what you look like.

WriterofAllWrongs · « **Reply #211 on:** 22 Apr 2009, 08:13 »

Quote from: Gilead on 21 Apr 2009, 21:41

Kim gordon sounds like the most beautiful oral sex in a moodily lit bathroom in a club only the coolest people know about on kool thing you subhuman monster.

She is adorable, but her voice is a basically a bowl of moldy grits in a cafeteria in the slummiest of Mississippi public schools.

FIGHT. YOU.

Skibas_clavicle · « **Reply #212 on:** 22 Apr 2009, 10:08 »

I don't even like Sonic Youth that much. But I would have to agree with the dude that said her voice sounds like the equivalent of moldy grits from a scummy public school. Although, I have to give you props for that kind of analogy.

mbb · « **Reply #213 on:** 22 Apr 2009, 16:41 »

Hi, thread. I'm sexually frustrated. I'm in a relationship with someone who doesn't like to brush their teeth much (I cringe kissing him sometimes

), who would rather do warcraft arenas than have sex with me...who I'm basically stuck with.
And he's home almost all the time, leaving me precious few moments for masturbation.
And he's kind of bad at foreplay...you'd think it pretty damn easy to use a vibrator on someone, at the very least?
My major motivation for living together was so we could have sex anytime we wanted to. I know, it's a terrible reason. I've learned my lesson.

Also:

Quote from: Drill King on 20 Apr 2009, 11:17

I am going to move away from where I live to somewhere that I have more sensible prospects and boys don't think my skinny jeans are weird.
(Yessss solutions!)

Who the hell thinks skinny jeans are weird? I just wish I had the body type to pull them off (I pretty much have to stick to straight-leg or bootleg cuts)

Avec · « **Reply #214 on:** 22 Apr 2009, 16:49 »

Being completely open about your sexual life on the internet can be devastating.

Josefbugman · « **Reply #215 on:** 22 Apr 2009, 16:54 »

Your not stuck with someone unless you really REALLY want to be.

Also, whats the correct... I thing the word "etiquette" is the most appropriate, around using a vibrator on a lady? I always found them rather strange myself.

Not really, the internet isn't going to phone up your friends and laugh about you.

mbb · « **Reply #216 on:** 22 Apr 2009, 16:58 »

It's true. Also...You don't know the details of the situation. Trust me, I'm pretty much stuck for now. (till about August)

And vibrators are super easy to use. The key is to pretty much let the vibe do the work for you, to a certain extent.

Scandanavian War Machine · « **Reply #217 on:** 22 Apr 2009, 16:59 »

Quote from: Josefbugman on 22 Apr 2009, 16:54

the internet isn't going to phone up your friends and laugh about you.

they're saving that for Web 3.0

Josefbugman · « **Reply #218 on:** 22 Apr 2009, 17:04 »

See thats the thing, vibrators and things of that ilk are just a bit odd for my tastes, but no doubt I will find out more about this.

Also, quick question but am I the only one who finds ann summers shops a little... creepy, its like "boil in the bag perversity, just add middle class feelings of daring", the shops themselves are generally about as warm and sensual as a thrown knife and the whole place seems to stink of nothing more than the banal dressed up in enough frills to try and make itself seem slutty.

Also, if that does happen on web 3.0 I am going to train falcons to deliver messages instead.

Coward · « **Reply #219 on:** 22 Apr 2009, 17:16 »

Quote from: Josefbugman on 22 Apr 2009, 17:04

Also, quick question but am I the only one who finds ann summers shops a little... creepy, its like "boil in the bag perversity, just add middle class feelings of daring", the shops themselves are generally about as warm and sensual as a thrown knife and the whole place seems to stink of nothing more than the banal dressed up in enough frills to try and make itself seem slutty.

Rumour has it that Andy MacNab owns part of the Ann Summers franchise. Maybe that explains it.

Josefbugman · « **Reply #220 on:** 22 Apr 2009, 17:18 »

Its a quote stolen from Prachett, but it serves my purposes, and I stick by it.

JD · « **Reply #221 on:** 22 Apr 2009, 17:24 »

Quote from: mbb on 22 Apr 2009, 16:41

I'm in a relationship with someone who doesn't like to brush their teeth much (I cringe kissing him sometimes )

Start chewing mint gum a lot and spit it in his mouth when you kiss.

Ballard · « **Reply #222 on:** 22 Apr 2009, 18:05 »

Conversely, demand he brush his teeth. What the fuck kind of guy will kiss you without brushing regularly?

mbb · « **Reply #223 on:** 22 Apr 2009, 18:28 »

I tried that. It led to lying about brushing his teeth. (Okay, at this point this should probably be in the relationship thread but, oh well) Like, last night. I get done bathing and go floss and see him lying down. "Going to come brush?" "Oh, I did while you were in the shower" "Oh, okay." I then notice his toothbrush, which is bone dry. I've been trying to get him to brush for the six months we've lived together and it's done me little good. Apparently I'm not supposed to say anything because he's never had a cavity and I have? Kissing is permanently closed mouth now.

0bsessions · « **Reply #224 on:** 22 Apr 2009, 18:29 »

Quote from: Ballard on 22 Apr 2009, 18:05

What the fuck kind of guy will kiss you without brushing regularly?

Khar.

Slick · « **Reply #225 on:** 22 Apr 2009, 18:35 »

Quote from: mbb on 22 Apr 2009, 18:28

Kissing is permanently closed mouth now.

Wait wait wait you can do that closed mouth? Oh crap I guess I am just a sloppy fuck when it comes to kissing.

Quote from: mbb on 22 Apr 2009, 18:28

Okay, at this point this should probably be in the relationship thread

Yeah.
Like, not 'yeah, get your stupid whiny ass into the relationship thread' but 'yeah uh that sounds a little bit fucked up what is up with that huh?'.

Gilead · « **Reply #226 on:** 22 Apr 2009, 18:39 »

Dump him duh, jesus christ.

Liz · « **Reply #227 on:** 22 Apr 2009, 18:40 »

Quote from: Slick on 22 Apr 2009, 18:35

Wait wait wait you can do that closed mouth? Oh crap I guess I am just a sloppy fuck when it comes to kissing.

Awww, you're not that bad. Give yourself some credit!

Slick · « **Reply #228 on:** 22 Apr 2009, 18:45 »

I wasn't saying I'm bad just saying actually I am not going to talk about how I makeout that is kind of weird.

Ozymandias · « **Reply #229 on:** 22 Apr 2009, 18:54 »

Quote from: Gilead on 22 Apr 2009, 18:39

Dump him duh, jesus christ.

I think if she could, this conversation would not exist.

KvP · « **Reply #230 on:** 22 Apr 2009, 19:18 »

Quote from: mbb on 22 Apr 2009, 18:28

I tried that. It led to lying about brushing his teeth. (Okay, at this point this should probably be in the relationship thread but, oh well) Like, last night. I get done bathing and go floss and see him lying down. "Going to come brush?" "Oh, I did while you were in the shower" "Oh, okay." I then notice his toothbrush, which is bone dry. I've been trying to get him to brush for the six months we've lived together and it's done me little good. Apparently I'm not supposed to say anything because he's never had a cavity and I have? Kissing is permanently closed mouth now.

Is this guy 9 years old? That is an extremely lazy lie. If you've made it clear that this is an issue for you and he is not committed to taking 30 seconds of his fucking day (just once a day!) to clean out his mouth for you if not for himself then he is willfully defying you and being a gross douchebag and fuck him you should dump him because it sounds like this really bothers you. Find a way out at the first opportunity and then you give him notice and leave him even if he panics and does what you want him to do. Ending a relationship shouldn't be a card that you have to play to be respected.

bainidhe_dub · « **Reply #231 on:** 22 Apr 2009, 19:32 »

dear husband. just because we are both at home at the same time, it does not mean that we need to have sex. thank you for listening the first time i say this, and not getting grumpy at this news. love your wife.

please don't throw things for 'doin it wrong' - i am not just frustrated, i'm kinda pissed!

KickThatBathProf · « **Reply #232 on:** 22 Apr 2009, 19:48 »

A different kind of sexual frustion, but sexual frustation nonetheless

0bsessions · « **Reply #233 on:** 22 Apr 2009, 20:44 »

Man, that last one's happened from both sides of my relationship.

mbb · « **Reply #234 on:** 22 Apr 2009, 21:11 »

WoW is a pretty big source of my sexual frustration. I like having lots of sex...but as soon as I hear his WoW-talk on vent (particularly when he says someone just got "raped!" by the boss) it just...kills it. Add that to the amount of time spent playing it...yeah...

Drill King · « **Reply #235 on:** 22 Apr 2009, 21:28 »

Yeah this happened with me and my ex, I would crawl into his lap and kiss his neck and he would a: push me off b: try and see past me to the screen so he didn't die

priorities

Cartilage Head · « **Reply #236 on:** 22 Apr 2009, 21:43 »

Maybe you should become more sexually appealing.

KvP · « **Reply #237 on:** 22 Apr 2009, 21:52 »

I have already advised Andy to be less tall but she seems pretty intent on staying the way she is.

Metope · « **Reply #238 on:** 22 Apr 2009, 22:08 »

Hey, Andy's height is the best height what are you talking about John.

(Andy's height is also my height)

axerton · « **Reply #239 on:** 22 Apr 2009, 22:32 »

Why is it that if a guy started coming onto his girlfrined when she's in the middle of something he gets shot down but if the girl makes the move he has to drop everything - just because the sterotypical guy is up for sex any time doesn't mean real guys are.

That being said, WoW is never a good enough excuse.

axerton · « **Reply #240 on:** 22 Apr 2009, 23:11 »

...well I guess I posted in the sexually frustrated thread despite all intentions not to. I'm thinking this is somehow poetic

Gilead · « **Reply #241 on:** 22 Apr 2009, 23:38 »

Andy it is because of your disturbing resemblance to a murloc.

Slick · « **Reply #242 on:** 23 Apr 2009, 01:01 »

Man I am so not sexually frustrated I am loving it. Like, I am not getting any, that is 'sexually satisfied' or wahtever you want to say; I have just been drinking at our favorite bar where we haven't been in a while and here I am home and a gorgeous lady is sleeping on my sofa and I am not thinking 'hey man maybe I should go sleep in the living room on the floor and try and chat or something' or 'hey maybe she'd be happier in my bed there is room for two you know it wouldn't have to be like that' or 'man makeouts hurrrrrr' I am just totally ok with the state of nothingness that is happening right now and it is good.

Slick · « **Reply #243 on:** 23 Apr 2009, 01:02 »

fuck you everyone who is frustrated!

Johnny C · « **Reply #244 on:** 23 Apr 2009, 01:15 »

i just bought skate 2 and i'm doin alright

Josefbugman · « **Reply #245 on:** 23 Apr 2009, 01:39 »

what does skate 2 have to do with anything?

Also, if a girl crawled into my lap and started making it clear she was attracted I would feign disconnection in a heartbeat, but that might be because I only play WoW for the lore anyway.

SirJuggles · « **Reply #246 on:** 23 Apr 2009, 02:22 »

Quote from: Josefbugman on 23 Apr 2009, 01:39

I only read it for the articles

MadassAlex · « **Reply #247 on:** 23 Apr 2009, 03:53 »

Quote from: SirJuggles on 23 Apr 2009, 02:22

Quote from: Josefbugman on 23 Apr 2009, 01:39
I only listen to it for the sounds

Josefbugman · « **Reply #248 on:** 23 Apr 2009, 05:39 »

Har de har. Its true though, think what you will.

Spluff · « **Reply #249 on:** 23 Apr 2009, 05:44 »

Nobody should be getting in the way of a man and his game. Nobody.

THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

Author Topic: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated (Read 88543 times)

Gilead

Gilead