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Bedazzled thread

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David_Dovey:
You are loved. By a rabid wolverine.

I want a pony! Buy me a pony!

Tom:
Oh hey I bought you a pony, it has rabies!

I wish I had a perfect smile.

Zingoleb:
You sure got a purty mouth, he says, moments before the forced oral sex.

I wish beef jerky wasn't so damn expensive.

phooey:
Once you decide to consider the expense of other things in the world, Beef Jerky (nee Trucker's Delight) is fukken peanuts.

Wish I didn't have a sore throat.

Zingoleb:
I'd be happy if my beef jerky fucked peanuts. We could have some serious money coming in from the hybrid off-spring.

Your sore throat is cured by Michael Jackson crawling into your bed and kissing you better.

I wish I didn't get stage-shy every time I go to sing in front of people.

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