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Author Topic: GI Joe - SPOILERS  (Read 9941 times)

Blyss

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GI Joe - SPOILERS
« on: 11 Aug 2009, 09:51 »

Okay - didn't see a thread on the front page here, and didn't want to revive something from past July 8th, so here goes.

I went to see this movie on opening day, with some trepidation I will admit.

GI Joe was just about my very favorite cartoon when I was a kid - I saw all the 'mini-marathons' and the movies, even read the comics, where they met up with the Transformers at one point.  I was definitely a GI Joe geek.


SPOILERS - so look away if you care to - last warning.




I was pleasantly surprised for the most part.  The casting was pretty good - but then, even as a kid, I always thought of Hawk as being played by Dennis Quaid, so that was something I liked from the first trailer.  The show followed a lot of the formula from the old cartoons - the bad guys attack the Joes' hidden base - leaving them all but down and out, and then the Joes' find out where the bad guys are hiding, and go attack their base.  Turnabout is fair play, after all.

I do like how they waited until the very end to reveal who the Cobra Commander was, and in fact only hinted at the name 'COBRA' throughout the movie.  No name was even given to the group at first. 

I like how most of the characters are represented - but there is an exception, and I'll get to that in a minute.  For the better part of the cast, the characters were true to their cartoon counterparts - and that was somewhat surprising, because I was sure they were going to just make them all the same, and that was completely against what GI Joe was all about.  Wayans, in particular, is good because of the way he breaks things up.  It's not his funniest work, but he does a good job of delivering the lines in the funniest way possible.  Duke is stoic, and all about winning the mission, while rescuing the damsel in distress...

...which brings me to said damsel.  This is the ONE thing that just absolutely pissed me the hell off.  The Baroness was not EVER a good girl being manipulated to be bad.  She was just as evil as the men around her, and just as bad.  She reveled in it, and there was no, "Oh, I'm so sorry" uttered from her lips, unless it was sarcastic because she'd just killed someone's best friend, and was smirking about it. 

The reason this gets under my skin so much, is that - frankly - she was the reason I ever started liking bad girls in black leather.  There was just something about that look, and that accent, and the attitude.  She was nasty sex on black heels, and she wasn't sorry for any of it.  Now they've tamed her, and that just really chaps my ass.  Oh well, I digress.

A lot of the plot is predictable, but then I expected that - so I guess it was predictable twice...  Oh well.

It is definitely not going to win any awards, but as I said to a friend, "I didn't feel like I wasted my time.  I was entertained, and that was the whole point."

I hope the Baroness kills the writer in his sleep for fucking with her, but that's strictly me.  I'm sure most others won't care.

 8-)
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rynne

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Re: GI Joe - SPOILERS
« Reply #1 on: 12 Aug 2009, 17:23 »

Man, this video pretty much has the cast the film should've gotten:

Duke - Henry Rollins
Scarlett - Julianne Moore
Destro - Vinnie Jones
The Baroness - Olivia Wilde
Zartan - Billy Cruddup
Snow Job - Zach Galifiankais

etc. etc.
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SirJuggles

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Re: GI Joe - SPOILERS
« Reply #2 on: 13 Aug 2009, 01:03 »

Would like to see the movie, especially on these reviews. On a not-too important note, I just found out that the kid who plays Young Snake Eyes is a friend of my little sister, and I've hung out with him a few times. So, you know, that's cool.
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Re: GI Joe - SPOILERS
« Reply #3 on: 13 Aug 2009, 01:20 »

Judging sole by the trailer, it looked like a lame movie. Accelerator suit huh buh wuh
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allison

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Re: GI Joe - SPOILERS
« Reply #4 on: 13 Aug 2009, 07:11 »

Perfect movie for the MST3K treatment. I had a lot of fun with it. It was by no means a good movie, but the fight sequences did not rape me visually, which made me happy.
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Re: GI Joe - SPOILERS
« Reply #5 on: 13 Aug 2009, 17:42 »

I saw it two days ago and managed to laugh quite a bit. To me, the movie became a huge joke and almost unbearable to watch twenty minutes in.
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kemon

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Re: GI Joe - SPOILERS
« Reply #6 on: 14 Aug 2009, 00:51 »

it wasn't as horrible as it could have been.  i went in with pretty low expectations and was somewhat surprised.  it was a fun movie at the very least.

my only real complaint was the idiocy that was rex's mask at the end.   a simple shiny faceplate or a hood was too much trouble?  come on.
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Blyss

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Re: GI Joe - SPOILERS
« Reply #7 on: 14 Aug 2009, 15:48 »

it wasn't as horrible as it could have been.  i went in with pretty low expectations and was somewhat surprised.  it was a fun movie at the very least.

my only real complaint was the idiocy that was rex's mask at the end.   a simple shiny faceplate or a hood was too much trouble?  come on.

I was a little taken aback with that, but it didn't bug me.  Was just surprised that they went that route.  I did have fun watching it.  Definitely brought back some memories.  :)
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Professor Snuggles

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Re: GI Joe - SPOILERS
« Reply #8 on: 14 Aug 2009, 17:51 »

I didn't read the thread, but are the spoilers that this movie fuccin succed? cuz I bet that's what they are.
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Tom

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Re: GI Joe - SPOILERS
« Reply #9 on: 14 Aug 2009, 23:46 »

some people should never spell fuck without a k
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Blyss

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Re: GI Joe - SPOILERS
« Reply #10 on: 17 Aug 2009, 11:46 »

I didn't read the thread, but are the spoilers that this movie fuccin succed? cuz I bet that's what they are.

Hmm - no I don't recall that particular spoiler being in the batch.
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Re: GI Joe - SPOILERS
« Reply #11 on: 17 Aug 2009, 16:29 »

Man, this video pretty much has the cast the film should've gotten:

Heh, Alan Tudyk as shipwreck.

I don't know about this one, well, yeah I do, from the first trailer I was pretty sure that it probably sucks balls. But my friend had a bootleg copy of it that he left at my house on accident (I'm not sure why he brought it, to be honest, he was high) so I'll probably watch that for kicks in the comfort of my own home. As it is I would not go to see it in theaters, and surely would not have sought to rent it, or even pirate it, but since its here, and I'm bored....

P.S. I was confusing Professor Snuggles and Sir Juggles in the thread for a bit, I don't know how, as these are two vastly different people.
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Inlander

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Re: GI Joe - SPOILERS
« Reply #12 on: 17 Aug 2009, 18:54 »

I didn't read the thread, but are the spoilers that this movie fuccin succed?

Of course not! It's not a spoiler if everyone already knows it.
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E. Spaceman

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Re: GI Joe - SPOILERS
« Reply #13 on: 17 Aug 2009, 22:01 »

It was actually pretty good!
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Re: GI Joe - SPOILERS
« Reply #14 on: 18 Aug 2009, 07:42 »

I didn't read the thread, but are the spoilers that this movie fuccin succed? cuz I bet that's what they are.

Huh, I thought you were using 'succed' there as a past tense of 'succeed'. Is the K on your keyboard broken?
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Re: GI Joe - SPOILERS
« Reply #15 on: 18 Aug 2009, 22:53 »

So, this movie is basically just about Snake Eyes being a bad ass for a solid 45 minutes book ended by Sienna Miller prancing around in a catsuit, right? This is an important question and will definitely determine whether I bother seeing this or not.
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Re: GI Joe - SPOILERS
« Reply #16 on: 18 Aug 2009, 23:15 »

some people should never spell fuck without a k

oh shiiiiiii
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Blyss

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Re: GI Joe - SPOILERS
« Reply #17 on: 19 Aug 2009, 08:38 »

So, this movie is basically just about Snake Eyes being a bad ass for a solid 45 minutes book ended by Sienna Miller prancing around in a catsuit, right? This is an important question and will definitely determine whether I bother seeing this or not.

Hmmmm - not sure if it's a full 45 minutes or not...  Possibly.

 :laugh:
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Re: GI Joe - SPOILERS
« Reply #18 on: 19 Aug 2009, 10:03 »

So, this movie is basically just about Snake Eyes being a bad ass for a solid 45 minutes book ended by Sienna Miller prancing around in a catsuit, right? This is an important question and will definitely determine whether I bother seeing this or not.

sounds like some mindless entertainment to rent when it comes out, probably in late November, early December.  I mean with criteria like Alex has, it can't be completly a waste of celluliod, can it?
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Re: GI Joe - SPOILERS
« Reply #19 on: 20 Aug 2009, 09:35 »

GI Joe is dumb as hell. Marlon Wayons is, by far, the worst component there. He's nearly unbearably pathetic and fails miserably at comic relief. Channing Tatum is as wooden an actor as I've ever seen, but still likeable enough.

That said, the film doesn't have a slow moment in it. It's a blast to watch, and I feel a modicum of pity for someone who cannot see a film like this and just have a bit of fun. It incorporates elements from both the comic and cartoon quite well, it's a faithful adaptation of both sources (even though obviously some storylines are simplified and some are altered, like any other film).

Of course it's like a live action cartoon. Yeah, it's over the top. Yep, the plot defies logic at some points. It's fucking GI Joe, for christsakes.

It doesn't take itself very seriously, and neither should you.
« Last Edit: 20 Aug 2009, 09:40 by variable_star »
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Blyss

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Re: GI Joe - SPOILERS
« Reply #20 on: 20 Aug 2009, 09:41 »

It's fucking GI Joe, for christsakes.

Precisely why I liked it.  :)
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Re: GI Joe - SPOILERS
« Reply #21 on: 20 Aug 2009, 11:21 »

I couldn't agree more. I would think anyone remotely familiar with the franchise, particularly what its become over the past fifteen years, will watch this film and think "Yeah, that's about right."
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Re: GI Joe - SPOILERS
« Reply #22 on: 20 Aug 2009, 18:09 »

Was there a public service announcement at the end of the movie?
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Re: GI Joe - SPOILERS
« Reply #23 on: 21 Aug 2009, 07:39 »

Most regretfully, no. But they do somewhat clumsily work in all the classic lines, like "knowing is half the battle" and "real American hero", though.
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Re: GI Joe - SPOILERS
« Reply #24 on: 23 Aug 2009, 21:08 »

The only part of the movie I didn't like was Marlon Wayans. Otherwise I was thoroughly entertained. Snake Eyes vs. Storm Shadow could have been the whole movie though.
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