Topic: Post ITT and The Professor will speculate wildly about your sex life in 2009 (Read 29173 times)

Lines · « **Reply #100 on:** 01 Jan 2010, 16:24 »

C'monnnn, don't let this sink to the bottom! This is currently one of my favorite threads.

Eris · « **Reply #101 on:** 01 Jan 2010, 16:27 »

But it has kinda turned into another relationship thread with people's details that they give. Surely half the fun is making wild speculations from very little information?

Emaline · « **Reply #102 on:** 01 Jan 2010, 17:10 »

Right, well, I can go for either a guess at what did happen or a guess of what will.

I'm 21, bisexual, been dating the same guy for roughly almost 7 months. We live together, and have bee for about as long as we've been dating. Things have been a bit rocky, but are usually quickly repaired. I don't get along with most of his closest friends due to them being very controlling. He is still friends with his ex-fiance, one of the close friends I don't get along with, and lately has been pissed that he and I have such a good relationship because she and her dude don't and he just got her pregnant. So... speculate!

jhocking · « **Reply #103 on:** 01 Jan 2010, 18:34 »

Quote from: Emaline on 01 Jan 2010, 17:10

He is still friends with his ex-fiance, one of the close friends I don't get along with, and lately has been pissed that he and I have such a good relationship because she and her dude don't and he just got her pregnant.

Searching for relevance...

calenlass · « **Reply #104 on:** 01 Jan 2010, 18:36 »

I think she means that the ex-fiancée is pissed that Emaline and her man have it so good when the ex-fiancée's new dude sucks and knocked up the ex-fiancée.

jhocking · « **Reply #105 on:** 01 Jan 2010, 18:38 »

Yeah I got that, it's just... well... not relevant.

calenlass · « **Reply #106 on:** 01 Jan 2010, 18:38 »

I know. I didn't know how to respond, so I figured I could help clarify in case someone else figured it out.

JD · « **Reply #107 on:** 01 Jan 2010, 18:45 »

Quote from: Emaline on 01 Jan 2010, 17:10

Right, well, I can go for either a guess at what did happen or a guess of what will.

I'm 21, bisexual, been dating the same guy for roughly almost 7 months. We live together, and have bee for about as long as we've been dating. Things have been a bit rocky, but are usually quickly repaired. I don't get along with most of his closest friends due to them being very controlling. He is still friends with his ex-fiance, one of the close friends I don't get along with, and lately has been pissed that he and I have such a good relationship because she and her dude don't and he just got her pregnant. So... speculate!

All four of you should go on the Jerry Springer show.

Emaline · « **Reply #108 on:** 01 Jan 2010, 19:06 »

I'm just saying that she is pissed at us, and treating him like crap, causing him to further stress because they were good friends, and is upset that we have a good relationship, and thus complaining to him that that he is such a jerk because he has moved on and found something good for him, whereas she has locked herself in a relationship she finds undesirable, and is taking that out on us. This is causing stress on our relationship.

Demonic Angel · « **Reply #109 on:** 01 Jan 2010, 19:17 »

I am a senior in high school who plans to attend college during the fall semester this year. I live in Kansas and have had no meaningful relationships while in high school.

Professor Snuggles · « **Reply #110 on:** 01 Jan 2010, 20:36 »

Quote from: Emaline on 01 Jan 2010, 19:06

I'm just saying that she is pissed at us, and treating him like crap, causing him to further stress because they were good friends, and is upset that we have a good relationship, and thus complaining to him that that he is such a jerk because he has moved on and found something good for him, whereas she has locked herself in a relationship she finds undesirable, and is taking that out on us. This is causing stress on our relationship.

Yeah all I needed was the last sentence, but it'll play in.

Slick · « **Reply #111 on:** 01 Jan 2010, 21:26 »

OK ok OK.
I was 22-23 in 2009. I was single the whole while. I think there were only two girls but I could be forgetting something/one.
I was a math student, I lived in southern Ontario, and I kind of lost interest in life for a while.
A friend asked me a few weeks ago if I'd ever kissed a guy and my response was 'I don't think so, but I can't be sure. Probably not'.

bainidhe_dub · « **Reply #112 on:** 02 Jan 2010, 12:06 »

I've been with my boy a little over 8.5 years, and been married not quite a year and a half. I'll be 24 next week.

Professor Snuggles · « **Reply #113 on:** 02 Jan 2010, 12:32 »

Quote from: calenlass on 29 Dec 2009, 17:06

I broke up with my ex in July and got asked out by three friends within two weeks after aforementioned breakup, turned them all down, and had to refrain from hanging out with them or talking to them as much anymore on account of none of them taking no for an answer. I live in a house with a roommate but that house is about 20 minutes' drive from any of my local friends. I am currently in Glasgae for Hogmanay.

You turned down the three friends because they were either creepy nice guy "but I've been your friend for so long" type dudes, or fat, or maybe just good friends and you didn't want to ruin the friendship but that is a bullshit excuse. You fucked two other guys in the course of the year, post boyfriend I mean, and they were alright, but not exciting, except one of them was like real good. You're gonna bone or already boned one of the british boarders while you're in Glasgae, I'd guess roddy cuz he is good at that kinda thing and not scared to approach a lady but maybe you already boned the other one. The sex with the ex boy was good, you broke it off because it just wasn't going anywhere and you needed more from your life.

Professor Snuggles · « **Reply #114 on:** 02 Jan 2010, 12:34 »

Quote from: tania on 29 Dec 2009, 17:36

i live with my parents. i work overtime every week selling computers to people who yell at me seemingly all the time for no apparent reason. i am willingly spending new year's eve AND new year's day on my computer, alone, working on application forms instead of getting drunk with friends. i kind of dress like a dude. most people think i'm gay.

Wait, you aren't gay? AH, AH, AH. No but seriously, you probably had sex three times this entire year, all with different people, none of which were exactly tender and caring but you were either drunk enough or desperate enough that just getting fucked was good enough at the time. You do sell yourself short though cuz you're totally a pretty girl, but I guess going out and meeting boys is kinda scary, or at least I find meeting girls scary so there's that. It's also possible you had a brief relationship at some point this year that didn't go great but whatever.

Professor Snuggles · « **Reply #115 on:** 02 Jan 2010, 12:35 »

Quote from: plumbob78 on 29 Dec 2009, 17:38

I dated this one girl in college, ten years ago. That lasted three months, and I broke up with here when I realized it wasn't that great. Have thought about dating lots of women since then, but never acted on it. Nearly made out with my friend's fiancee two years ago while drunk, but we didn't. I live alone.

You jerk off too much, and probably do most of it to Hentai. You don't have a sex life doggo why you gotta depress and misery up my thread? You probably spend hours out of every day browsing the casual encounters section on your local craigslist personals looking for a match that would fuck you, but you never act on it when you find one, either because you're still to moralistic to go for it, or because you get shy when they ask for cock pictures. Bite the bullet and get your fucking dick wet.

Professor Snuggles · « **Reply #116 on:** 02 Jan 2010, 12:40 »

Quote from: Melodic on 29 Dec 2009, 17:38

I broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years last August, then we continued to fuck until December. Now I lust over the girl behind the music counter and am working up the courage to tell her she's really cute.

Last August? Like August 2khate? why the fuck do I care about shit that doesn't have anything to do with this year? If you meant this year than the continuation of the fucking was stupid because you trapped yourself in a completely physical relationship where you used each other but both pretended you had the power(she did. She almost always does.) and wasted the time you could have spent moving on trapped in a stupid waste of time. Unless you work with the girl at the music counter you shouldn't ask her out that shit is fucking lame, but you should totally keep rubbing your dick raw every night while you think about how much you'd love to have her lips wrapped firmly around your cock. If you meant last year and it's taken you almost a year to get the courage to even tell a girl behind a counter she's cute, then I doubt you're getting much ass anyway.

Professor Snuggles · « **Reply #117 on:** 02 Jan 2010, 12:41 »

Quote from: Drill King on 29 Dec 2009, 17:47

Am currently dating a really sexy lawyer who is 12/13 years older than I am, things are going really great with this current one so it seems like it might last a while. Before this guy I slept with over 10 boys and prior to that I was in two very serious very long term relationships(3 years and 1year respectively).

See I know way too much about your sex life as is to bother with this. You're gonna start cutting each other at some point this year though, assuming you don't leave him, which you totally should, dammit.

Professor Snuggles · « **Reply #118 on:** 02 Jan 2010, 12:48 »

Quote from: Puki on 29 Dec 2009, 18:06

I'm engaged to this girl I've been with for five and some years. We plan to move in together next year.

Why the fuck aren't you married, anyway. Five fucking years and you're engaged and you don't even live together? Let me guess, at least 1, as many as 3 of those years were spent in a long distance thing where you saw each other occasionally and now you're scared to move too fast in case being around each other all the time actually fucks things up more than it makes things better. I guess not living together probably makes sex more exciting, cuz right now you can pretend you're not fucking every night because of different schedules/requirements, not because you probably wouldn't be at this point in your relationship anyway. You occasionally fantasize about girls from this message board while jerking it when she isn't around. She has cheated on you once in the last 5 years.

Professor Snuggles · « **Reply #119 on:** 02 Jan 2010, 12:52 »

Quote from: 20 jazz funk greats on 29 Dec 2009, 18:17

i've been dating the same guy for nearly 4 years and the internet doesn't approve of him. we currently live in the same city, and things between us are reasonably decent.

Who cares about the fucking internet? It's probably just dudes who wanna get in your pants hating. The fact that your are stressing that you CURRENTLY live in the same city is funny to me, don't most people in relationships live in the same city? And reasonably decent? You're not getting fucked right, clearly. If things were good, you'd be saying good. If things were bad, I dunno maybe you'd end it or maybe you thrive on mediocre sex and unsatisfying relationships. I bet this is like, the third dude you ever dated and the fourth you ever fucked, so you don't really know what you're missing. There's a whole wide world of dick out there that is just waiting for you, and it's almost 100% that some of those dicks are gonna make you feel way better than reasonably decent. Then again maybe the sex is the only thing keeping you together, and he rails you just right. Straight balls to the wall, back scratching face slapping porn star sex. Or you peg the fuck out of him with a strapon, which you sort of enjoy for the feeling of power, but you're pretty convinced he's actually gay, but he has a good job.

Professor Snuggles · « **Reply #120 on:** 02 Jan 2010, 12:55 »

Quote from: Linds on 29 Dec 2009, 18:29

I am dating a boy, but I am often confused for a lesbian because I have dressed in drag and like unicorns, aliens, kittens, and horror movies.

Edit because I forgot "and".

I don't care that you are confused for a lesbian! Stop telling me about your lives outside of fucking, fuck. It's not really meaningful at all. Anyway you fuck this boy I guess but with the lights off because you both have body image issues, and you're afraid to get really buck with it. It's not a bad thing though, you enjoy vanilla ice cream as well, and your turkey and mayo sandwiches are always made on white bread. So at least you're comfortable, but you'll enjoy yourself a lot more if you blow up the box and get a little crazy, since being afraid of your own sexuality is stupid. I am willing to admit the potential of wrongness here, as I always am, but I don't think so this time. Unicorns and kittens make you sound a little afraid to grow up, although the horror movies could mean you're into bloodfucking. I suggest you watch Night of the Creeps with him, and then bone in the flickering blue light of other people's deaths. I think it could be good for you.

Professor Snuggles · « **Reply #121 on:** 02 Jan 2010, 12:57 »

Quote from: ruyi on 29 Dec 2009, 18:55

hi im ruyi!!!!!!!!!

Never been in a relationship. Have only ever fooled around with a few dudes I didn't stay in touch with.

I plan on asking a guy out when the semester starts, later in January.

Ruyi you are like, 3 steps form pimpin ninjas. You don't stay in touch with the boys because they suck, and why the hell should you? Boys suck, and you know it, but you're still optimisitc. You grew up too fast and skipped the cutesy high school style training wheels relationships which are so important, which puts you in a weird position because you're smart enough to understand how relationships work on an intellectual level and can't understand why those knowedges don't transfer over into your actual life. But yeah you're probably a virgin, initially because you wanted to hold on to it until someone who meant something came along, but now you're in college and losing it and you kinda just wanna get fucked, but you're still too classy to just go to a party get wasted and bang some fratbro. Which is good! Best of luck asking that boy out though, real talk.

Professor Snuggles · « **Reply #122 on:** 02 Jan 2010, 13:00 »

Quote from: Spluff on 29 Dec 2009, 19:21

I live in constant fear of cooties.

Which is why you jerk off chronically in your plain white room, alone, wearing latex gloves soaked in hand sanitizer for lube. It doesn't work that well, but you've managed to convince yourself that you enjoy the burning pain you feel in your dick, and that the constantly inflamed red skin color your penis has taken on is more of a healthy sheen. You masturbate almost exclusively to pictures of fat muddy chicks wrestling and moshing at events like the gathering of the juggalos, not because you identify it, but those "dirty dirty girls" make you feel a little bit alive, and the shame you feel makes the burning in your cock from the sanitizer seem a little more justified, as you cleanse your self of the shame even in the middle of the act.

Professor Snuggles · « **Reply #123 on:** 02 Jan 2010, 13:03 »

Quote from: negative creep on 29 Dec 2009, 19:30

I'm 23 years old, single and also bisexual. Do it.

Man you are a cool guy, I am sure you're getting lots of ass. I am gonna say 6 boys, 3 girls in 2009. I am going higher on the boys cuz you are kind of an effeminate dude, and not a lot of chicks are into that over here, but then you are not here and I don't know your cultures sexx lawz. Either way there hasn't been anyone special in a while, but at least two of the guys were significant enough that you both topped and bottomed with them, whereas the girls were less of a big deal but you were psyched for a change of pace. I imagine you're a tender lover, which the girls were psyched on, and 3 of the boys liked the small whimpering noises you made while they fucked you. The girls were not super hot, one was really androgynous though which I am kinda into, and one was pretty fat, but you were either drunk or on drugs so you don't feel bad about it anway. None of them were strangers, because you're a pretty shy dude! That shyness could decrease your number but I'd rather think of you as a bavarian indie sex priest.

Professor Snuggles · « **Reply #124 on:** 02 Jan 2010, 13:04 »

First page done, sit on it bitches.

IronOxide · « **Reply #125 on:** 02 Jan 2010, 13:11 »

19 and straight. I think my hairline might be receding, but it's probably too soon to tell. Currently single. Hit me.

silverstar · « **Reply #126 on:** 02 Jan 2010, 13:30 »

I am 21, still live in my parents basement, work full time and go to college full time. I am also in the US Naval Reserves. I have been dating a 24 y/o active duty Navy guy for 8 months (though we've known each other since 2007) and he is stationed in Italy.

Lines · « **Reply #127 on:** 02 Jan 2010, 13:48 »

Quote from: Professor Snuggles on 02 Jan 2010, 12:55

Stuff.

White bread is boring, mayo is disgusting, and I am not afraid of my sexuality, but you are right about the unicorns and stuff. I will give your horror movie thing a shot.

snalin · « **Reply #128 on:** 02 Jan 2010, 14:08 »

Quote from: J-cob9000 on 29 Dec 2009, 20:07

I am 15, bisexual, been in two relationships this year and I am a pretty hardcore member of the drama club. Do me.

siq quoted!

jhocking · « **Reply #129 on:** 02 Jan 2010, 14:40 »

Quote from: Professor Snuggles on 02 Jan 2010, 12:48

Quote from: Puki on 29 Dec 2009, 18:06
I'm engaged to this girl I've been with for five and some years. We plan to move in together next year.

Why the fuck aren't you married, anyway. Five fucking years and you're engaged and you don't even live together? Let me guess, at least 1, as many as 3 of those years were spent in a long distance thing where you saw each other occasionally... She has cheated on you once in the last 5 years.

fuck man the first part of your post to him was a pretty accurate description of my relationship, and then you have to go and make me paranoid that she cheated on me while I was living in NYC.

calenlass · « **Reply #130 on:** 02 Jan 2010, 14:54 »

Quote from: Professor Snuggles on 02 Jan 2010, 12:32

You turned down the three friends because they were either creepy nice guy "but I've been your friend for so long" type dudes, or fat, or maybe just good friends and you didn't want to ruin the friendship but that is a bullshit excuse. You fucked two other guys in the course of the year, post boyfriend I mean, and they were alright, but not exciting, except one of them was like real good. You're gonna bone or already boned one of the british boarders while you're in Glasgae, I'd guess roddy cuz he is good at that kinda thing and not scared to approach a lady but maybe you already boned the other one. The sex with the ex boy was good, you broke it off because it just wasn't going anywhere and you needed more from your life.

The first bit is pretty accurate! I am impressed. Also I wish that the bit about me breaking it off with my ex "because it just wasn't going anywhere" and me simply needing more from my life was true. Sigh.

Professor Snuggles · « **Reply #131 on:** 02 Jan 2010, 15:06 »

he dumped you? that dick!

Joe she did.

jhocking · « **Reply #132 on:** 02 Jan 2010, 15:13 »

FUCK YOU

calenlass · « **Reply #133 on:** 02 Jan 2010, 15:15 »

No, I dumped him because he thought I owed him sex or whatever in exchange for his emotional intimacy since that was so difficult for him and he'd never really done it before. I felt like his mother because that is all I got in return, so I broke up with him. I hate children and have never wanted them and my boyfriend is supposed to be my partner, not my offspring. Ugh.

However, it still sucked and it still makes me sad. Ho hum.

Professor Snuggles · « **Reply #134 on:** 02 Jan 2010, 15:44 »

You should listen to the song Momma's Boy by elizabeth and the catapult it is awesome.

Professor Snuggles · « **Reply #135 on:** 02 Jan 2010, 15:47 »

And relevant!

ruyi · « **Reply #136 on:** 02 Jan 2010, 17:49 »

Aw, you flatter me. Also yeah boys totally suck!

Quote from: Professor Snuggles on 02 Jan 2010, 12:57

you're smart enough to understand how relationships work on an intellectual level and can't understand why those knowedges don't transfer over into your actual life

Nah, I do get that I can't "think" my way past experience.

Quote

Best of luck asking that boy out though, real talk.

Thanks Kieffer!

You got it right but I'm sure you expected that cos you're a smartie.

Spluff · « **Reply #137 on:** 02 Jan 2010, 18:44 »

Quote from: Professor Snuggles on 02 Jan 2010, 13:00

Which is why you jerk off chronically in your plain white room, alone, wearing latex gloves soaked in hand sanitizer for lube. It doesn't work that well, but you've managed to convince yourself that you enjoy the burning pain you feel in your dick, and that the constantly inflamed red skin color your penis has taken on is more of a healthy sheen. You masturbate almost exclusively to pictures of fat muddy chicks wrestling and moshing at events like the gathering of the juggalos, not because you identify it, but those "dirty dirty girls" make you feel a little bit alive, and the shame you feel makes the burning in your cock from the sanitizer seem a little more justified, as you cleanse your self of the shame even in the middle of the act.

you know me better than I know myself

iamiam · « **Reply #138 on:** 02 Jan 2010, 19:10 »

oh man. this thread is mostly fantastic.

in 2009 i broke things off with my long-time boyfriend, moved back in with my parents & got fat. sooo not much to speculate on, sorry

Johnny C · « **Reply #139 on:** 02 Jan 2010, 19:46 »

Kieffer, I just moved into an absolutely beautiful downtown apartment about a five-minute drive from the university and three blocks away from the cool person bar.

Professor Snuggles · « **Reply #140 on:** 02 Jan 2010, 22:33 »

Dude you'll be dating Winona Ryder in no time.

Melodic · « **Reply #141 on:** 03 Jan 2010, 02:26 »

i haven't rubbed my dick raw
yet

Zingoleb · « **Reply #142 on:** 03 Jan 2010, 02:30 »

Have you tried brillo?

Johnny C · « **Reply #143 on:** 03 Jan 2010, 02:34 »

Quote from: Professor Snuggles on 02 Jan 2010, 22:33

Dude you'll be dating Winona Ryder in no time.

Update: Where the fuck is all my expensive stuff?

Dollface · « **Reply #144 on:** 03 Jan 2010, 04:59 »

Wanted: Sex with someone, im so desperate any swamp monster will do like harry or even jace.

Inlander · « **Reply #145 on:** 03 Jan 2010, 06:24 »

Quote from: Dollface on 03 Jan 2010, 04:59

any swamp monster will do like harry

Hey what the hell man, my barber's on holiday and it's been thirty-seven degrees centigrade over here. Gimme a break.

Drill King · « **Reply #146 on:** 03 Jan 2010, 08:54 »

Kieffer stop projecting your cutting fantasies on me and my partner, I realize that we're sexy and you're single but stop it, it's weird.

plumbob78 · « **Reply #147 on:** 03 Jan 2010, 09:41 »

Quote from: Professor Snuggles on 02 Jan 2010, 12:35

You jerk off too much, and probably do most of it to Hentai. You don't have a sex life doggo why you gotta depress and misery up my thread? You probably spend hours out of every day browsing the casual encounters section on your local craigslist personals looking for a match that would fuck you, but you never act on it when you find one, either because you're still to moralistic to go for it, or because you get shy when they ask for cock pictures. Bite the bullet and get your fucking dick wet.

Pretty good, except for the Hentai and craisgslist parts. You're bang on about the stubborn moralistic streak, though.

jhocking · « **Reply #148 on:** 03 Jan 2010, 09:49 »

Quote from: Professor Snuggles on 02 Jan 2010, 12:35

your fucking dick

Not the other one, it's easy to get them confused.

Professor Snuggles · « **Reply #149 on:** 03 Jan 2010, 10:50 »

Quote from: plumbob78 on 03 Jan 2010, 09:41

Quote from: Professor Snuggles on 02 Jan 2010, 12:35
You jerk off too much, and probably do most of it to Hentai. You don't have a sex life doggo why you gotta depress and misery up my thread? You probably spend hours out of every day browsing the casual encounters section on your local craigslist personals looking for a match that would fuck you, but you never act on it when you find one, either because you're still to moralistic to go for it, or because you get shy when they ask for cock pictures. Bite the bullet and get your fucking dick wet.

Pretty good, except for the Hentai and craisgslist parts. You're bang on about the stubborn moralistic streak, though.

Well yeah you're not gonna admit to it, but I'm right.

THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

Author Topic: Post ITT and The Professor will speculate wildly about your sex life in 2009 (Read 29173 times)

Zingoleb