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[Professor Snuggles]

Also I will probably do it even if you don't post in this thread, but it will at least be more honest/accurate if you do post and give me some kind of general details about what you've been up to.

[Lunchbox]

I have been dating a guy for six months who is five years younger than me. He lives with his parents. I live by myself.

[Lummer]

I have been single for over three years now.

[öde]

I saw a lady once.

[Eris]

I am in my second year of a relationship, and have spent the last six months living with him.

[Inlander]

I saw a lady once.

That was actually a man with really long hair.

Sorry, dude.

[StMonkey]

Im with my girlfriend for nine months now, and she is going off to medical school next fall, with me still in regular college.

[Jimmy the Squid]

I am in my third year of a relationship, and have spent the last six months living with her.

[Professor Snuggles]

I have been dating a guy for six months who is five years younger than me. He lives with his parents. I live by myself.

You are 25, yes? Or will be soon? He is 20 then?

I am going to posit that you slept with a maximum of 3 people this year, one possibly an ex boyfriend, one who you were gonna start something with but turned out to suck/a 5 night stand, and this guy.

The sex with the ex was okay, but it was clear you were growing tired of it, and of each other. While you had been together long enough that he knew your body and could do all the right things, it was lacking in imagination and ultimately unsatisfying, despite whatever "satisfaction"(orgasms!) that might have occurred.

The second guy could go either way. There may even have been more than one of him, dunno for sure, but you don't seem like a "lets bone a lot of different dudes" type of gal. So you went out to try it though, and met this boy, and you banged and he didn't treat you that well. Sex was good though, maybe not because of actual quality, but because you were a little turned on by the fact that it felt a little dirty/wrong. It didn't work out.

This new boy I feel like maybe you have been teaching some things, but shit is probably getting pretty exciting by this point. Like, he is young and full of stamina and excited about the fact that he is banging a sexy older lady, so he is really earnest and psyched and trying as hard as he can to be the best lover ever, but he's not quite there. Probably better than when you started, but some things still make him a little nervous, probably. You probably aren't getting off as much with him as you did the ex, but I could be wrong, I dunno how your junk works really. You could be onea those hair trigger ladies! Either way sex with this boy is probably still exciting at least a little, but not quite as new and fun as it was. Don't let it stagnate like you did with the last boy! Try new things! Go buy some sex toys!

Oh and you fucked him in his parents house, probably drunk, at least once, while they were sleeping and felt really dirty/teenage and youthful about it.

[Lummer]

Kieffer, I love you.

[Professor Snuggles]

I have been single for over three years now.

You slay pussy, don't you Lummer. You're single by choice to at least some degree, so you're out at shows banging chicks with hella tattoos and drinking problems, only calling them when you feel like it, and generally keeping your dick as sodden as you possibly can. That said, the lack of sex with someone on any regular basis is a little unsatisfying, because you're never getting into the fun stuff, the bonus emotion fueled fucking, it's all surface value. Unless of course, knowing you're never gonna see this girls again, and having no real reputation to maintain/being in a big enough city to get away with it, you're just goin buck wild on them and takin out all the frustrations. You could have boned between 7 and 12 girls this year.

Alternatively you hate being single, had sex with 3 or less girls this year, and was really hoping that something would come of it with at least 1, but were disappointed.

[Johnny C]

I'm Johnny C.

[KharBevNor]

That was actually a man with really long hair.

That is to say it was me.

[Gemmwah]

I've been dating an 18 year old girl for 5 months now. We're both full time students at different universities, but our towns are only 30 minutes apart.

[Professor Snuggles]

I saw a lady once.

While masturbating furiously from your perch in the tree that you were watching her undress from, you tumbled over backwards shortly before the point of orgasm and began falling 30 feet to the ground. Fortunately the binoculars you were using caught on the tree, and you dangled by your neck as you spurted cum in vigorous arcs from your twitching cock.

The orgasm was one of the best of your life, but unfortunately it developed into a fixation with autoerotic asphyxiation, and the shame of your new fetish is keeping you away from women even more so than it has before. You spend hours locked up in your room, choking yourself and chronically stroking your cock. Hopefully you don't accidentally kill yourself before you find a girl who will enjoy the feeling of your throat in her hands as you struggle for breath as much as you'll enjoy seeing her image grow fuzzy as black closes in around the edges of your vision, while she rides you to a much needed non-onanistic release.

[Professor Snuggles]

I am in my second year of a relationship, and have spent the last six months living with him.

Honestly, and I'm sorry, but unless you get your boyfriend to promise 100% guarantee that I am not going to get banned for it, there is no way I'm about to speculate on what the sex you guys have is like.

[Lummer]

I have been single for over three years now.

You slay pussy, don't you Lummer. You're single by choice to at least some degree, so you're out at shows banging chicks with hella tattoos and drinking problems, only calling them when you feel like it, and generally keeping your dick as sodden as you possibly can. That said, the lack of sex with someone on any regular basis is a little unsatisfying, because you're never getting into the fun stuff, the bonus emotion fueled fucking, it's all surface value. Unless of course, knowing you're never gonna see this girls again, and having no real reputation to maintain/being in a big enough city to get away with it, you're just goin buck wild on them and takin out all the frustrations. You could have boned between 7 and 12 girls this year.

Alternatively you hate being single, had sex with 3 or less girls this year, and was really hoping that something would come of it with at least 1, but were disappointed.

It's quite amazing how you seem to nail the truth, Kieffer. By that I mean if you find some sort of middle ground between those two things. I suck at picking up chicks, but I tend to get jumped from time to time. Other than that, I hate single life and I crave a meaningful relationship.. But on the other hand I like the freedom of being single. It's weird.
I fall in love WAAAY too easy though.
I must have boned around 5-7 chicks this year. It's been a slow year, though, I think.

[Professor Snuggles]

I saw a lady once.

That was actually a man with really long hair.

Sorry, dude.

Damn harry, I just don't know. Part of me thinks you are like, married with a child, but I think that is just because you are so incredibly mature and sophisticated that I couldn't imagine you being out dating. I am going to assume that is the case, and that your wife and you still have sex on a semi-regular basis, maybe 3-5 times a week, but occasionally just don't bother because you're too tired/are grownups and have real lives, or maybe the kid distracts you. That sex is still just fine though, nothing mindblowing but you're still doin it pretty well, you know? Happy and contented, but maybe like once a month you go all out and get buck on each other.

Alternatively, you and your beard go out on weekends and bang endless hipster sluts, probably like 20 in this year alone. You tell them you're a poet, they melt, and they are all up on your dick like woahhhh.

[Dazed]

I've been dating a girl for about a month. Before that, was single for like a long ass time. She currently has a broken ankle and is stuck in her parents house.

[öde]

That is to say it was me.

It's very confusing when you shave the middle bit of your facial hair.

I have plenty of interests, but asphyxiation isn't one of them (which is lucky, that story sounds dangerous).

[calenlass]

I broke up with my ex in July and got asked out by three friends within two weeks after aforementioned breakup, turned them all down, and had to refrain from hanging out with them or talking to them as much anymore on account of none of them taking no for an answer. I live in a house with a roommate but that house is about 20 minutes' drive from any of my local friends. I am currently in Glasgae for Hogmanay.

[Lunchbox]

I didn't sleep with the second guy. It was one drunken makeout session at my front gate but I was too scared to invite him up.
Also switch the 'once' for 'several times a month' and mostly 'while they are awake.'

[Professor Snuggles]

Im with my girlfriend for nine months now, and she is going off to medical school next fall, with me still in regular college.

You had sex with... maybe one other person before you got together with this girl. The sex has been good, but not phenomenal, throughout the course of the relationship, but as you've gotten closer and closer to her leaving it's gotten better due to pure desperation and the knowledge that it's going to end soon. I feel like she is fairly early into your sexual experience, but then I don't know how old you are, but seeing as you post on QC and you're not tommy or roddy, I doubt you're out there gettin hella tail on the regs. So the sex seems better to you than it is, and you're really psyched that you found someone who would let you sheathe your meat in her anyway.

However, it is also possible that you think the two of you are deeply in love, and maybe that is a good thing, and you're going to try to make it work over distance. I don't know how far apart you guys are moving, but I imagine it is fairly far, otherwise you wouldn't have mentioned it. In that case, break up with her, dude. You think that it's gonna be totally easy, but on the real it's gonna just fall apart over distance and you're gonna be unhappy and stressed about it, and then she's gonna cheat on you, and you'll have more heartbreak than you would have otherwise.

But she could be fat, in which case, you're probably fine.

[Inlander]

So I'm Don Draper?

I can live with that.

[LeeC]

I saw a lady once.

That had me in stitches!

Well I havnt had a steady GF in 8 years (yes 8 years).  Since I have come here to college (and learning tango) I am meeting a new girl everyday.

[tania]

i live with my parents. i work overtime every week selling computers to people who yell at me seemingly all the time for no apparent reason. i am willingly spending new year's eve AND new year's day on my computer, alone, working on application forms instead of getting drunk with friends. i kind of dress like a dude. most people think i'm gay.

[plumbob78]

I dated this one girl in college, ten years ago. That lasted three months, and I broke up with here when I realized it wasn't that great. Have thought about dating lots of women since then, but never acted on it. Nearly made out with my friend's fiancee two years ago while drunk, but we didn't. I live alone.

[Melodic]

I broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years last August, then we continued to fuck until December. Now I lust over the girl behind the music counter and am working up the courage to tell her she's really cute.

[Drill King]

Am currently dating a really sexy lawyer who is 12/13 years older than I am, things are going really great with this current one so it seems like it might last a while. Before this guy I slept with over 10 boys and prior to that I was in two very serious very long term relationships(3 years and 1year respectively).

[Puki]

I'm engaged to this girl I've been with for five and some years. We plan to move in together next year.

[20 jazz funk greats]

i've been dating the same guy for nearly 4 years and the internet doesn't approve of him. we currently live in the same city, and things between us are reasonably decent.

[Lines]

I am dating a boy, but I am often confused for a lesbian because I have dressed in drag and like unicorns, aliens, kittens, and horror movies.

Edit because I forgot "and".

[LeeC]

I am dating a boy, but I am often confused for a lesbian because I have dressed in drag like unicorns, aliens, kittens, and horror movies.

its okay Linds your not weird, your Unique 

[Jimmy the Squid]

I get the dressing in drag but how does liking unicorns and kittens make you a lesbian?

[LeeC]

oh, I thought you dressed in drag as unicorns aliensa kittens and horror movies.  it makes so much more sense with the "and"

[Lines]

Because according to a lesbian I know, you can't own My Little Ponies and action figures of Ripley and the queen from Aliens and be straight, no matter how much you happen to like the cock.

[LeeC]

Because according to a lesbian I know, you can't own My Little Ponies and action figures of Ripley and the queen from Aliens and be straight, no matter how much you happen to like the cock.

that person doesnt know what they are talking about! you should have ripley riding the my little pony while fighting the queen!

[ruyi]

hi im ruyi!!!!!!!!!

Never been in a relationship. Have only ever fooled around with a few dudes I didn't stay in touch with.

I plan on asking a guy out when the semester starts, later in January.

[ruyi]

Did you hear that internet?? I'm going to ask a guy out. (and then he will say no)

Just keeping you all posted.

[LeeC]

Did you hear that internet?? I'm going to ask a guy out. (and then he will say no)

Just keeping you all posted.

may I direct you to the advice thread?
http://forums.questionablecontent.net/index.php/topic,24169.850.html

 This one is for bogus psychic readings   

[ruyi]

But see

he will say no

So why do I need advice.

[LeeC]

I dunno, sounded like you wanted some.

why will the boy say no?

[Spluff]

I live in constant fear of cooties.

[LeeC]

you didnt get the shot?

[tania]

why will the boy say no?

because deep down inside every boy knows they are not really good enough for cathy

[negative creep]

I'm 23 years old, single and also bisexual. Do it.

[ruyi]

I dunno, sounded like you wanted some.

Nah, I wanted Kieffer to speculate wildly about my sex life in 2009, even though there's only like, two days left.

why will the boy say no?

Well he might not be attracted to 1) girls, 2) former students, or 3) me.  

ACTUALLY: I guess I like Tania's answer better (she is a real sweetie)

[tania]

it is kind of similar to the reason why i said "no" when cathy asked me out but actually later that night i wrote another immensely personal love letter to her and almost mailed it but couldn't bring myself to and instead sealed it in an envelope and put it in the drawer beside my desk with all those other hundreds of letters i never sent

[ruyi]

(to me. the hundreds of letters are addressed to me)

^Finished Your Post

[LeeC]

im confused.