PIZZA!
THE THREE HARDEST PARTS:
1)
a bake stone - a bake stone nice, but even a cheap bake stone expensive. a brick?
far less expensive. get a brick. get several brick. or get paving stone, whatever. turn oven into brick oven. cost a couple buck, way less than bake stone. just don't get glaze. glaze causes toxin death.
2)
a toss - a toss great! but hard to perfect, and (arguably) mostly for show anyway. a stretch from the centre, with proper care and attention to the dough, works good. not great, not perfect... but will suffice. please be gentle with a dough. a gluten structure easy to botch. a dough easy to turn out as carbohydrate lump.
3)
to put a pizza in an oven - it is time to put a pizza in an oven! but wait. did you pick it up with your hands? oh dear. a pizza has become a pile of topping on a floor. a pizza has become a soppresatta hammock, a well of crimini. a peel will do nicely! a peel cost
how much?!? a baking sheet? flat, with no edge? sprinkled with a flour? yes. this will do.
THE NOTE OF A KNEAD:
perhaps a bread hook is a non-possession. is this the case? ah. such sadness in your eyes. happily, a solution is present. to knead a dough in a bowl, continuously rotate bowl while kneading, occasionally switching directions. this will allow a gluten structure to build up! if a dough clears a side of a bowl but not a bowl's bottom, it is prepared for the journey to a fridge. if a dough is too sticky and becomes too friendly with a bowl's side and bottom (in defiance of god's will for monogamy), add a bit of flour. if a dough loves nobody (a denial of the gift of potential children, a truly grave sin), fuel its love with a bit of water.
THE NOTE OF A SAUCE:
many a pizzaiolo (a fancy word for a maker of a pizza) use a sauce without a cook. a good idea for a sauce without a cook is to prepare in advance. also, consider a substitute of oregano for basil! rich flavour. honest flavour. if you love a basil, if you must love a basil, you will put its leaf on top of a finished pizza. make a basil proud in this way.
THE NOTE OF A TOPPING:
many toppings are to be considered! choose the one which makes your heart the most full. but also, be a clever person with an ingredient! use a thing which will make sense. a thing like a mozzarella ball instead of a misleadingly-named brick of white cheddar, or soppresatta instead of pepperoni (soppresatta is nice and fatty which means it stays tender when cooked), or spicy fresh italian sausage from your local italian grocer (if you don't have one of these near you i feel true sadness). be careful not to overload a topping as it will make your pizza have a great sadness! (the duchess alluded to this.) a topping will slide off. a topping will punish the dough. a topping must work in unity with a cheese and a sauce and a dough. be aware!
a topping to consider:
sauce, mozza, basil or
sauce, mozza, arugula and prosciutto (both placed on after the pizza leaves the oven) or
sauce, mozza, sausage, thin-sliced red onion/shallot (on top), fennel seed or
parmesan, red onion, pisachios and rosemary, or
just bake a dough plain and throw on some olive oil and salt and/or parmesan and/or herbs have fun with whatever you choose!
A FINAL WORD:
don't turn an oven down! maintain a high heat. make a pizza radiate with a warmth.
thanks! thanks.