I'm really sorry to hear about that, guys. Keep us updated? Theriandos, what is your mom in the hospital about? Isaiah, were you and your grandma close? I'm sorry.
Blog Thread, I need help wording a paragraph for the venue of the place I'm hosting this charity event. It's for a page about what we need from them. Basically, I want to have a paragraph about how they are part of our team now, and we are really glad to have them, but as a team member they need to do their part and help out their team in making sure things run smoothly(By allowing us access to the PA system, and providing us with tables, and letting us put up signs, etc). I have a list of things we need from them already written up(Really, it's nothing they should be hard pressed to do. It's all very basic stuff.) All the "you're part of our team!" is just feel good motivatey stuff. I just really need to figure out how to put it into a nice paragraph, without sounding too much like a jerk.
Ok, here is what I've got so far. I wrote one and my boyfriend wrote the other.
Mine: "We are so glad to have Maggie O’Brien’s as part of our team for this event! As with every team, in order for things to run smoothly, everyone needs to do their part. Here are some of the things we’d like Maggie O’Brien’s to help us out with::
His: "It is our sincere hope that the Wishlist Foundation and Maggie O'Brien's team can seamlessly work together to make this a successful event that will be fun and profitable for both organizations. The Wishlist Foundation would appreciate the support of Maggie O'Brien's in ensuring that the event runs as smoothly as possible. In order to ensure that this happens, a list of requests follows:"
His is more put together, and professional. Mine is half assed, but friendlier. My mom feels like his is sort of condescending. Thoughts?