Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[KharBevNor]

There once was a fine chap called Tommy
Sad that is surname weren't 'Iommi'
So he put all his toiil
Into North Sea oil
and now he gets on rather jollily




There once was a wench named Tania
Who liked tapestries (ie Bayeaux)
So she wove a scene
of orgies unclean
And no one wanted no more to do with her





There once was Emilio (Mexican)
Who drank some pepsi from a pepsi can
But concealed in the drink
Were poppers and ink
and he did intestininal can-cans.





There once was a David, Dovey
Who jacked off whenever he peed
But when the urinal
Took him to Tru-binal
He just whipped out his balls and agreed.






More to follow

[KharBevNor]

There once was a girl called andy
Whose sex life was terribly free
She ran her fuck chutes
Like a liberal kibbutz
where worse women would charge a fee

[KharBevNor]

Once was a cartoonist called jeph
Whose rapping was terribly fresh
As an MC abroad
His rhymes struck a chord
But the money was in indie tit flesh.

[KharBevNor]

There once was a young boy called Kieffer
A farter he was not a queefer
He was lacking in vag
and he made it his badge
And thus qualified he for FIFA

[KharBevNor]

A fellow there was, Johnny Cameron
Quoted passages from the Decameron
His medieval french
Did not please the bench
Who knew that the work was Italian.

[KharBevNor]

There once was a gamer called Bryan
Whose blood lacked severely in iron
He gnawed on a gate
To his hunger abate
But he just wound up shitting out filings.

[KharBevNor]

There once lived a Jon (or KVP)
Who held seances inside a teepee
So the ghosts set upon him
Smeared slime upon him
And the dry cleaners, oh they were not cheapy

[KharBevNor]

In Boston town there lived a Shane
He ate steel and shat out the chain
Till one day his innards
Turned violently inwards
And he vomited up model trains.

[KharBevNor]

There once was a maiden called Jodie
Who sanity tried to erody
Though but metre and half again
She proved quite Lovecraftian
Even befor her feelers deployed.

[KharBevNor]

Once two X Chrom'some, s'appelle Allison
Played Strip Poker with a battalion
Stripped servicemen nude
Then plaintively mewed
That she wanted to ride 'pon their stallions.

[KharBevNor]

There once was an old man called Jhocking
Whose libido was smply shocking
He became sorely vexed
If not regular sexed
And beat, with a mincemeat filled stocking.

[KharBevNor]

There once was a forumite, Jace
Very much liked setting the pace
When his wasn't the tempo
He became discontent-o
And gargled with urine-laced-MACE.

[KharBevNor]

There once was a multi-tool Rob
With attachments for every job
He said "I'm not a tool"
But fate prooved him a fool
And made him vend novelty key-fobs.

[KharBevNor]

There once was a Kiwi, called Rizzo
His schemes always turned out quite whizzo
He used slang from the past
and pedaled quite fast
On his bright red escape peda-lilo.

[KharBevNor]

There once was a squid, name of Jimmy
Thought nothing of squirming up chimneys
He squirmed up a flue
But his face turned quite blue
When he popped up in jap porno cine.

[allison]

There once was a fellow named Khar
You could find him most nights at the bar
After a drink,
He'd pick up a twink,
And they'd do naughty things in his car.

[KharBevNor]

There once was an owl man, Eric
Who made nest in an oil derrick
Yes, a nodding donkey
Was fine perch for he
Though he ate only other bird's sick

[KharBevNor]

A paultard came hence, pharmmajor
On all topics proved he a bore
He used control V
Like Ryu used chi
And was by all good folk deplored.

[KharBevNor]

There once was  a suomi, called Jussi
Lusted he both for cock and for pussy
For Sex innuendos
On him might depend-o
Perkele Perkele Perkele

[KharBevNor]

There once was a geordie, Darryl
Kept a snowglobe on his windowsill
Only inside the sphere
was a quart of stale beer
And the gall bladder of his last kill.

[KharBevNor]

One chap, he was never quite goth
Could not define 'alack' or 'troth'
When he keyed in the forums
To relationship problems
He suffered considerable wrath.

[KharBevNor]

There once was a chap here called patrick,
Scored had he never a hat trick,
His football was minging
But he weren't bad at singing
And is now loved from Balkans to Baltic.

[KharBevNor]

There once was an entity, squawk
A noise divorced from buzzard and hawk
It was so protozooic
That in room anechoic
Into deaths arms it was made to walk.

[KharBevNor]

There once was a wise woman, Edith
Whose warnings fools liked not to heedeth
But when things looked gloomy
Her appetite roomy
For knitting would all ills consumeth.

[KharBevNor]

Harry, it's known, is a jazz fan
Much less known are his links to the taliban
He's completely medieval
For the axis of Evil
And he spits on the balls of great Satan.

[KharBevNor]

There once was a female, Hannah
Who attempted to mate with a spanner
It lodged in her womb
And drove her to her doom
Documented on Disc'ovry Channel.

[KharBevNor]

There once was a Jon,  Cernunnos
Whose chief OS was MS-DOS
When faced with a GUI
Modus operandi
of his, was pretend to be moss.

[KharBevNor]

Lo the wizards, they summoned Gemmwah
Whose infamy came from afar
She could beat down Tarrasque
and come to the rescue
Of Thunderbirds who went too far.

[KharBevNor]

There once was a Bruce, name of Brett
Not a boxer or vietnam vet
But when women discovered
The things that he covered
He earned massive and lasting respect.

[KharBevNor]

Unicycle mage, onewheelwizzard
Knows unsettling things about lizards
And astral dimensions
You'd not dare to mention
Lest yog-sothoth wormed out your gizzards.

[KharBevNor]

There once was a girl we called lunchy
Who said that her spine wasn't crunchy
We called out shenanigans
And before the clock rang again
We brutally proved her to false be.

[KharBevNor]

Once a stout fellow, Paul Hodges
Shared phonemes with numerous porridges
In a lexical brawl
He gambled his all
And got turned into cheap ALDI sausages.

[KharBevNor]

There once was a hardcore kid, Sam
Fell in love with a catamaran
When he sees two hulls
His balls become full
And for once he looks like a real man.

[KharBevNor]

Once resented this man, Roderick
How simply was rhymed he with 'prick'
Oh revenge did swear he
On the rhyming dictionary
Which he cast to the roaring Pacific.

[KharBevNor]

Once long ago, there was Kai
A regular straight talking guy
Then went up the cry
"He's got eyes on his thighs"
But still tolerate him we did try.

[KharBevNor]

A poem had subject once (Tyler)
For lyrics there could be no finer
But then one afternoon
He turned into a spoon
And the poets they cast their net wider.

[KharBevNor]

There once was a fiction named Dora
Barista rather than explorer
For rule thirty four
The jackals cried MOAR
Whilst others were rather appaleda.

[KharBevNor]

There once was a matriarch, Liz
Whose saliva was known to fizz
Owing to insufflation
Of sherbet distillation
Which she calls by the junkie slang 'Piz'.

[KharBevNor]

Arisen a whistler named eris
to ride upon wheels of the ferris
for cultists right sibilant
her name was equivalent
to just s'ing a shitload of s's.

[KharBevNor]

Once a person there was Emaline
She portrayed herself as being clean
When the mess was substantial
Because illnesses mental
Had fucked the fuck out of her breeeeen.

[KharBevNor]

There once was  forumite Dan
Who hatched dark and maleficent plans
To kidnap a foal
was his final goal
Then to ransom the horse for a man.

[KharBevNor]

Hannah tricked me to hon'ring her twice
To referennces her I make thrice
I will give her a scolding
and when I've done moaning
She'll eat only uncooked brown rice.

[KharBevNor]

There once was a forum, QC
Twas a BBS, not, say,  a tree
And there all and sundry
Might ponder the quandry
How to live on the digital sea.

[KharBevNor]

There once was a poet, called khar
Smoked cigarettes mainly for tar
He was seen to be quick
manufaturing limerick
But sometimes he wouldn't give a fuck about meter you goddamn fascist. Words aren't some thing to control, man. Words spill free from every mouth and penetrate every act of love. I know you're watching me. I know.

[KharBevNor]

If any feel left out and missed
Remember that I am quite pissed
And I'm smoking the weed
Like Lemmy does speed
And I'm feeling quite wonderfully blissed.

[KvP]

<3 u khar bear

[Liz]

I am sad that you missed the obvious opportunity in mine, Khar. You will never be forgiven for this.

[ZJGent]

Liz was a 'murkan quite scary
Though on QC a fine luminary
A writer of posts
(A buster of ghosts?)
- That last claim's not substantiary.

[sean]

you skipped me khar why are you tryin to hate on a dude like that

[ZJGent]

On Khar many discourse is written
His contemporaries are smitten
With him and his words
As free as Freebirds
So strong, and yet meek as a kitten.