Fun Stuff > BAND
The Most Ungoodly
TheFuriousWombat:
Hmm that is a pretty good choice
Patrick:
--- Quote from: TheFuriousWombat on 24 Feb 2010, 16:37 ---I think you guys all mislinked. Here's what you meant to say.
--- End quote ---
I actually really like that song for some reason. Khar's got it dead on, but this is classic Van Halen, d0gg.
Zombiedude is totally right. Also, gonna quote somebody from the comment thread: "she looks like his older sister or baby sitter"
Spluff:
--- Quote from: Melodic on 24 Feb 2010, 16:40 ---ITT: Khar becomes risque.
--- End quote ---
Becomes? I'm pretty sure Khar was ejected from his mother's womb risque.
Tergon:
--- Quote from: a pack of wolves on 24 Feb 2010, 05:17 ---Did you actually listen to this song? The singing isn't chanted, nothing extensive but this isn't spoken word. The words aren't gibberish, it's a very straightforward "you're not good enough for me" song. Not the most inspiring stuff, but it's failing is in being too obvious not in nonsense. The beat's more than steady enough to dance to. And it takes musical talent to program a beat and play synths, despite what whiny rock musicians might claim. As for it going against what could be considered music, that's just nonsense. Listen to Lambsbread. That's still music, so the idea this song is outside the scope of music just means you don't listen to much music.
As for your criteria, well, they're pretty bad too. A song making sense or not is massively subjective when bands start getting a little obtuse in the lyrics. Can you shake your booty to it? Fuck that, I like to dance but plenty of music simply isn't designed for that. Decent voicework, again, totally subjective. I think Jon Chang's a great vocalist, you might think he makes stupid noise. Instrumentals? What does this even mean? Composition, how is this more objective than anything else? And what's irony doing here?
Basically all I get from this is that you've got something against R&B, which is silly because R Kelly is better than you.
Worst song ever is My Humps though. You can tell this by the way it is so bad it can briefly put you off breasts.
--- End quote ---
Well, okay, no need to jump down my throat. You think I was unfair, that's cool, but I'm not sure the personal shots were absolutely necessary here.
First off, I don't mind R&B. The style doesn't bother me too much; my criteria were my attempting to remove this from just a "I hate this song asdasdfawergqawet" rant. Apparently I didn't do a great job at expressing that. And I do acknowledge that yeah, no matter what, I'm gonna be biased a bit, and it's going to be objective. I'm not a complete idiot.
As to the criteria, I'm not saying EVERY SONG EVER MUST BE LIKE THIS. Just that, if a song can offer me something in one of these areas, I'll concede that yeah, it's got good stuff going for it. And there are songs that don't. What About Us? turned me off completely, and once I decided I didn't like the song, I looked to all these areas to find some redeeming factor and could not. Maybe I'm a snob, maybe I'm a tool, but professional music does have standards and I could not find a way in which this song met them. Any dickhead can make random noises on a guitar, but a talented musician can take those noises, put them into the right order, and produce a decent song out of it.
The criteria were just a way of trying to look at it objectively. Vocals and Instrumental, well, okay, not every song has words, and not every song has instruments. I don't care, I can still enjoy the music. Composition? That goes back to making all those annoying noises come out in an order that's pleasant to the ear. Lyrics? I don't demand that every song be a work of Shakespeare, but a bit of coherence now and then is nice. And if all else fails, well, that's where Irony comes in. You said you hated My Humps, and that's fine, but I look at that song and chuckle and say, "Yeah, they did that on purpose." Which means that from a certain perspective, it's not that bad at all.
The whole point of this was a bit of a challenge to everyone to supply what they thought was the worst song ever. I figured it'd be amusing at worst, and maybe inspire a bit of discussion as to why some songs are better or worse to keep it interesting. Personal attacks was a bit beyond what I'd hoped for, but okay, I can be flexible here. I'd just try to point out that I used exaggeration for the sake of comedy a bit, just to give what I wrote a bit of a flow. Obviously the song can offer SOMETHING or nobody would like it at all. I'm just saying I personally did not, and I'm trying to explain why.
And as a final note, I might simply in self-defence say that as long as you're going to chastise me for not allowing for personal opinion and objectivity... you might show a little respect for MY opinion. Y'know, to be fair.
Also: One Less Lonely GIrl is now high on my Hate List. I just want to punch that kid.
a pack of wolves:
Oh come on, saying R Kelly is better than you isn't a personal attack. The man wrote Ignition (Remix), he's better than most things.
What I was saying was the trying to look at it objectively is pointless. All that comes out is subjective opinions, and by dressing it up in the way you did claiming things like the lyrics being gibberish become ridiculous because they aren't. If you just admit that the lyrics make sense but you think they're crap (you're right, they are), that the beat is functional (but it is lazy and boring), that the vocals are sung but without any passion or interesting structure, then you'd actually make a better argument for why this is a bad song. Like I said, the way you did it you ended up sounding like you were taking a pop at R&B (the bit about programming instruments taking no skill is a frequent and erroneous rock-bias argument) but without giving any reason why.
I don't hate My Humps because it misses on some arbitrary criteria. I hate My Humps because it infantilises sex and the body. It's practically paedophilic, they sound like twelve year olds. It also just sounds so much like product. And not product in the Girls Aloud 'manifesto about being British manufacturing' way that is also pretty crap (but the group are good) yet at least takes a stand, product in a dead-eyed cold calculation way. It's a song that should come free with a happy meal, and that should be detested. It's even more annoying that it isn't, listening to it is like being reminded constantly that Iggy Pop wants to flog you car insurance and bands are greedy for advertisers to endorse them. "Please let us hawk you shitty phone, it'll make our careers!" Sickening.
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