Topic: Gears of War 3 (Read 9173 times)

satsugaikaze · « **on:** 13 Apr 2010, 02:35 »

HAS ANYONE ELSE JIZZED IN THEIR PANTS YET

http://www.gametrailers.com/video/ashes-to-gears-of-war/64418#_text

Also, that's actually Anya in the vid.
Yeah you can wipe your keyboard now.

(baaaaaaaaaadaaaaaaaaasssssssss)

edit: Just realised how much Dom's channelling a war-fucked-up-my-life Jim Raynor face.
Also everything you need to know at this point in time is here http://forums.epicgames.com/showthread.php?t=723963

clockworkjames · « **Reply #1 on:** 13 Apr 2010, 04:19 »

Massive double barrel sawn off shotgun (hand on the pump left hand on a forty puffin' on a blunt).

JD · « **Reply #2 on:** 13 Apr 2010, 06:53 »

That isn't Anya, I think.

Won't be able to play this anyway, so the point is moot.

Darke · « **Reply #3 on:** 13 Apr 2010, 07:12 »

So the new shotgun does more damage but has less range? Uhh... maybe I'm missing something, but the old shotgun was basically a "get point blank - blow enemy to pieces" deal. How do you get less range than that?

satsugaikaze · « **Reply #4 on:** 13 Apr 2010, 07:15 »

Funny how in games the shorter barrelled shotguns have to be indicative of a wider spread and shorter range. =/

And the woman in the trailer sure as hell is Anya, Epic forums and Gearspedia don't say otherwise. And thinking about it - why the heck would they put a random unknown into the announce trailer?

JD · « **Reply #5 on:** 13 Apr 2010, 08:09 »

Alright it is Anya, I was just expecting someone else since Epic mentioned this awesome woman with scars all over her. Why does the main female have to be blonde goddamnit

Melodic · « **Reply #6 on:** 13 Apr 2010, 13:51 »

So, anyone wanna take the time to explain GoW canon to me? I've played the first two, but I do not understand the story at all.

ackblom12 · « **Reply #7 on:** 13 Apr 2010, 13:56 »

Lots and lots of Fist Bumps and homo erotic comments between bros.

ackblom12 · « **Reply #8 on:** 13 Apr 2010, 13:57 »

I mean, there might be a story in there somewhere, but I imagine it to be smashed between their massive mongoloid fists during victory bumps.

KvP · « **Reply #9 on:** 13 Apr 2010, 14:35 »

Quote from: ackblom12 on 13 Apr 2010, 13:56

Ten Shitloads of Fist Bumps and homo erotic comments between bros. *Smirk, nod*

öde · « **Reply #10 on:** 13 Apr 2010, 15:04 »

Least anticipated game of the century?

Scandanavian War Machine · « **Reply #11 on:** 13 Apr 2010, 15:16 »

at least

Storm Rider · « **Reply #12 on:** 13 Apr 2010, 16:52 »

Dom's got a serious case of Grief Beard going on there.

Honestly, the story in Gears may be dogshit, but the game itself is pretty fun, especially in co-op. I wouldn't say I'm anticipating it, but I'll probably play it once it comes out.

ackblom12 · « **Reply #13 on:** 13 Apr 2010, 17:23 »

It's easily the best running joke in video game form I've seen in a long time, and yeah, genuinely fun to boot!

KvP · « **Reply #14 on:** 13 Apr 2010, 21:36 »

I really liked Gears of War, but GoW2 was pretty dogshit. Not looking forward to #3.

JD · « **Reply #15 on:** 13 Apr 2010, 21:40 »

GoW 2 was hilarious. "Yeah let's fight through a fucking giant worm!"

scarred · « **Reply #16 on:** 13 Apr 2010, 22:17 »

Gears of War as a franchise is hilarious.

scarred · « **Reply #17 on:** 13 Apr 2010, 22:17 »

"Plot? WTF? KILL SHIT! Also look how ugly and ridiculously muscular I am!"

the graphics are so unreal

hurr

David_Dovey · « **Reply #18 on:** 13 Apr 2010, 22:27 »

ALIENS ARE LIKE TERRORISTS

satsugaikaze · « **Reply #19 on:** 14 Apr 2010, 03:32 »

My biggest man-squee is for the four-player co-op. Marcus, Dom, Cole, Baird, I'd assume, although it'd be awesome if you could choose different ones.

Quote from: Storm Rider on 13 Apr 2010, 16:52

Dom's got a serious case of Grief Beard going on there.

Max Payne's inclusion in that list hasn't really been justified, is it.

Also, Jim Raynor should be on that list.

Quote from: Melodic on 13 Apr 2010, 13:51

So, anyone wanna take the time to explain GoW canon to me? I've played the first two, but I do not understand the story at all.

Humans fuck themselves over an allegory of oil, war ends and then aliens come up afterwards to fuck them too.

Right now that's pretty much all there is to remember when you're playing the game. Also Dom euthanises his wife which is the cause of Grief Beard, but like Yahtzee once said no-one cares about the cunt wife except for Dom and they're all kinda just like "there there".

Thinking over the first half of the announcement trailer Dom comes off as ridiculously emo, like Aerith-died emo. I mean I know the Gears franchise isn't exactly the most subtle thing ever but when you're being bludgeoned over the head with metaphors remininding what happened "PREVIOUSLY ON GEARS OF WAR 2 AND THE WHIZZ BANG ZOWEE TUNNEL CREATURE WAR" it does get a little grating, I suppose.

est · « **Reply #20 on:** 14 Apr 2010, 03:57 »

Hey surprise you guys, I really hate Gears of War.

Johnny C · « **Reply #21 on:** 14 Apr 2010, 04:39 »

Quote from: David_Dovey on 13 Apr 2010, 22:27

ALIENS ARE LIKE TERRORISTS

so what are the implications if, as gow2 seems to hint at, the locust were at one point human beings

Johnny C · « **Reply #22 on:** 14 Apr 2010, 04:40 »

inconsistencies in tone, character, plot, et al. aside, gears of war was a really fun game to play in both iterations and i'll probably play through the third entry because if it's that fun why not

LeeC · « **Reply #23 on:** 14 Apr 2010, 06:44 »

just for comic relief heres the ZP review of GoW2

Blue Kitty · « **Reply #24 on:** 14 Apr 2010, 13:39 »

I'm surprised there haven't been more beards in Gears of War

I may not like the plot elements in the Gears of War series, but god damn if it isn't a fun game to play through.

David_Dovey · « **Reply #25 on:** 15 Apr 2010, 00:20 »

Max Payne's beard is more like "This is Shorthand for How Badass I Am" Beard

satsugaikaze · « **Reply #26 on:** 15 Apr 2010, 04:33 »

Well I consider the Hard-Boiled ending of MP2 to be the canoncial one seeing as Mona Sax's death was quite depressing, really.
Maybe Sax's death is what caused the grief beard? I dunno. But whatever it is it sure as hell isn't over his wife anymore. I really, really wish he kept his topside hair. Looks nothing like Max Payne now =/

On topic, I don't really think Dom really needs the beard. I was fine with him sullenly moping about in Gears of War 2, but nitpicking at it the Grief Beard does seem a little blatant and somewhat of a cliche.

But what the hell am I talking about this is a game with big manly men and chainsaws and shit and is like the centre of CLICHELAND why does it matter it doesn't.

ArcAirbender · « **Reply #27 on:** 15 Apr 2010, 19:09 »

Say what you will about Gears of War, but they sure know how to make a trailer.

And I don't care if I lose cool points by saying this: I had fuckloads of fun playing that game online. I'll be there for GoW3, unlike, say, the next GTA.

Johnny C · « **Reply #28 on:** 15 Apr 2010, 20:21 »

Quote from: David_Dovey on 15 Apr 2010, 00:20

Max Payne's beard is more like "This is Shorthand for How Badass I Am" Beard

See Also: Sam Fisher's new beard. Plus the little flashes of grey in the hair are shorthand for "grizzled."

how funny is it that "GRIM" flashes across him in the little loading sequence thingy

also Sun Kil Moon is in the GOW3 trailer and that rules

Storm Rider · « **Reply #29 on:** 15 Apr 2010, 23:14 »

I do like trailers that are ballsy enough to choose music completely incongruous with the subject matter. The TV ads for Lost Odyssey were set to White Rabbit, which I thought made them much more effective than if they had just used music from the game (although Lost Odyssey does have a great soundtrack, some of Uematsu's best work in years), and I also really liked the Dante's Inferno Super Bowl ad that used Bill Withers.

satsugaikaze · « **Reply #30 on:** 16 Apr 2010, 03:56 »

Quote from: Storm Rider on 15 Apr 2010, 23:14

some of Uematsu's best work in years

fuck yes

Yeah there seems to be this blatant habit of GoW trailers using ironically soft-sounding music to the theme of an exceptionally muted Gears of War warzone. "I have a rendezvous with Death", "You already know/how - this - will - end DADADADADADADAADAA" etc. etc.

And yes Sun Kil Moon had the perfect song to use for those trailer nutcases.

Nodaisho · « **Reply #31 on:** 20 Apr 2010, 01:15 »

Quote from: David_Dovey on 15 Apr 2010, 00:20

Max Payne's beard is more like "This is Shorthand for How Badass I Am" Beard

Actually, in that picture it makes him look like Neil Fallon after a bad mosh pit.

David_Dovey · « **Reply #32 on:** 22 Apr 2010, 23:40 »

Haha yeah Neil Fallon isn't badass at all nooo sir

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Author Topic: Gears of War 3 (Read 9173 times)

ackblom12

ackblom12

ackblom12