Topic: Products that should never have been created (Read 24233 times)

Eris · « **on:** 03 Aug 2010, 17:43 »

In my wanderings on the internet yesterday, I was introduced to a product that made me do a double take, because it just seemed so bizarre that I didn't understand how someone would have come up with the idea for it, let alone produce it and create a website and an ad for it. That product was:

Vulva (NSFW,obviously)
The cologne that smells like a woman's vagina. With an ad where a man smells the seat of an exercise bike after a lady riding it in her underwear sweats all over it.

What could trump this?

JD · « **Reply #1 on:** 03 Aug 2010, 17:46 »

Creepy

A Wet Helmet · « **Reply #2 on:** 03 Aug 2010, 17:49 »

Yeah... Why am I so not surprised that site is a .de domain?

I'm not sure I can beat that, but, in terms of advertising that is, uh... vaginal and makes you wonder WTF?, I've always thought this one was the king. (until now)

tania · « **Reply #3 on:** 03 Aug 2010, 17:51 »

there are so many things from the skymall catalog that i could include in here, but for now i'll stick to one of my personal favourites: the clock that tells you what day of the week it is and provides absolutely no other information.

tinysmidgen · « **Reply #4 on:** 03 Aug 2010, 17:54 »

Quote

Our greatest challenge was to preserve the intimate scent without altering the essences thereof. After many years of extensive testing...

They spent YEARS testing this? What in the hell...

KvP · « **Reply #5 on:** 03 Aug 2010, 17:59 »

On the contrary I think Vulva would make an amazing gag gift. I know several lesbians who would appreciate such a product.

I mean yeah it's like $60 but who says gag gifts have to be cheap?

Ladybug · « **Reply #6 on:** 03 Aug 2010, 18:04 »

I could've needed the dayclock from time to time :/ A lot of things show just the date and the time, not the day, which can be annoying. I had Saturday all day today. Of course, I could check it with one mouse-click, so yeah.

I'm fairly certain the world does not need either of these things:

Zingoleb · « **Reply #7 on:** 03 Aug 2010, 18:06 »

It's taken down now, but I used to have a link to a book of semen-based recipes.

Jimmy the Squid · « **Reply #8 on:** 03 Aug 2010, 18:07 »

Quote from: KvP on 03 Aug 2010, 17:59

On the contrary I think Vulva would make an amazing gag gift. I know several lesbians who would appreciate such a product.

I mean yeah it's like $60 but who says gag gifts have to be cheap?

Also it's not a cologne. It's a "feminine, erotic, intimate scent for your own smelling pleasure".

tinysmidgen · « **Reply #9 on:** 03 Aug 2010, 18:08 »

Quote from: Ladybug on 03 Aug 2010, 18:04

I'm fairly certain the world does not need either of these things:

For the Japanese-Themed room in everyone's house...you've all got one, right? Or am I the only one..

EDIT:

Quote from: Zingoleb on 03 Aug 2010, 18:06

It's taken down now, but I used to have a link to a book of semen-based recipes.

http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/natural-harvest---a-collection-of-semen-based-recipes/5198959

Zingoleb · « **Reply #10 on:** 03 Aug 2010, 18:11 »

Oh, shit, I've been looking for that link! I need to buy my mother something for her birthday.

Lunchbox · « **Reply #11 on:** 03 Aug 2010, 18:12 »

Oh god oh god don't read the reader reviews before lunch

Eris · « **Reply #12 on:** 03 Aug 2010, 18:14 »

Quote from: Jimmy the Squid on 03 Aug 2010, 18:07

Quote from: KvP on 03 Aug 2010, 17:59
On the contrary I think Vulva would make an amazing gag gift. I know several lesbians who would appreciate such a product.

I mean yeah it's like $60 but who says gag gifts have to be cheap?

Also it's not a cologne. It's a "feminine, erotic, intimate scent for your own smelling pleasure".

Less serious talk more silly things.

A Fleshlight that counts how many strokes are made per minute, and how long it takes to finish

tinysmidgen · « **Reply #13 on:** 03 Aug 2010, 18:14 »

Quote from: Zingoleb on 03 Aug 2010, 18:11

Oh, shit, I've been looking for that link! I need to buy my mother something for her birthday.

Get her this too

http://www.lasplash.com/publish/cat_index_Food_and_Wine/The_Seduction_Cookbook_-_Sex_and_the_Kitchen_2.php

scarred · « **Reply #14 on:** 03 Aug 2010, 22:43 »

Quote from: Eris on 03 Aug 2010, 18:14

Less serious talk more silly things.

how is "feminine, erotic, intimate scent for your own smelling pleasure" not silly?

JD · « **Reply #15 on:** 03 Aug 2010, 23:18 »

Regretsy is great

Graphite · « **Reply #16 on:** 04 Aug 2010, 05:22 »

The Twilight dildo was my first thought.

onewheelwizzard · « **Reply #17 on:** 04 Aug 2010, 07:10 »

SkyMall really is a gold mine for this kind of stuff. Check out the Electronic Feng Shui Compass or the Treadmill Desk.

Ptommydski · « **Reply #18 on:** 04 Aug 2010, 07:32 »

Any and all albums by the band U2.

Patrick · « **Reply #19 on:** 04 Aug 2010, 11:34 »

Quote from: Ptommydski on 04 Aug 2010, 07:32

Any and all albums by the band U2.

Dliessmgg · « **Reply #20 on:** 04 Aug 2010, 12:27 »

I was gonna say K-ON but I still watch it every week.

scarred · « **Reply #21 on:** 04 Aug 2010, 13:15 »

Quote from: Graphite on 04 Aug 2010, 05:22

The Twilight dildo was my first thought.

honestly the dildo is one of the least creepy products to come from twilight

J-cob9000 · « **Reply #22 on:** 04 Aug 2010, 15:32 »

Jackhammer Jesus

Zingoleb · « **Reply #23 on:** 04 Aug 2010, 16:07 »

I was really hoping that was a link to a Jesus blow up doll I saw years ago. Six holes!

Jimor · « **Reply #24 on:** 04 Aug 2010, 17:02 »

Another old one from the pointless thread, but a good one. Treadmill on wheels.

Graphite · « **Reply #25 on:** 04 Aug 2010, 20:15 »

Quote from: scarred on 04 Aug 2010, 13:15

Quote from: Graphite on 04 Aug 2010, 05:22
The Twilight dildo was my first thought.

honestly the dildo is one of the least creepy products to come from twilight

True.

Blue Kitty · « **Reply #26 on:** 04 Aug 2010, 20:34 »

Those pillows with anime characters on them. Also a lot of things from J-List

Please tell me I'm not the only one that thinks the sarcophagi cd holder is awesome

tania · « **Reply #27 on:** 04 Aug 2010, 20:34 »

Quote from: Jimor on 04 Aug 2010, 17:02

Treadmill on wheels.

not gonna lie, i would totally buy one of these just to chase children around and freak them the hell out

Zingoleb · « **Reply #28 on:** 04 Aug 2010, 22:15 »

Quote from: Blue Kitty on 04 Aug 2010, 20:34

Please tell me I'm not the only one that thinks the sarcophagi cd holder is awesome

Only if you stock it full of Nile/Karl Sanders

Ballard · « **Reply #29 on:** 05 Aug 2010, 00:04 »

Quote from: tania on 04 Aug 2010, 20:34

Quote from: Jimor on 04 Aug 2010, 17:02
Treadmill on wheels.

not gonna lie, i would totally buy one of these just to chase children around and freak them the hell out

I love the 80s police dramedy theme music.

smack that isaiah · « **Reply #30 on:** 05 Aug 2010, 17:26 »

Quote from: scarred on 04 Aug 2010, 13:15

Quote from: Graphite on 04 Aug 2010, 05:22
The Twilight dildo was my first thought.

honestly the dildo is one of the least creepy products to come from twilight

howsabout some twilight panties? (be sure to note the inside of said panties)

Johnny C · « **Reply #31 on:** 07 Aug 2010, 22:35 »

Quote from: Jimor on 04 Aug 2010, 17:02

Another old one from the pointless thread, but a good one. Treadmill on wheels.

THE ULTIMATE PATENT PENDING MACHINE

David_Dovey · « **Reply #32 on:** 01 Sep 2010, 19:27 »

Quote from: Jeffery Rowland

If you're wondering what Carlashes are, they are EYELASHES for your FUCKING CAR http://www.carlashes.com

Christophe · « **Reply #33 on:** 01 Sep 2010, 22:08 »

11% alcohol, oodles of caffeine. I have been drunk for only an hour and a half; it's 10:00pm now but my mind is in 1:30 mode.

Fuck you, 4loko.

Fuck you so hard.

JD · « **Reply #34 on:** 01 Sep 2010, 22:27 »

is it four-lock-o or do you pronounce it four-loco?

Boro_Bandito · « **Reply #35 on:** 01 Sep 2010, 23:11 »

pronounced loco, and while not the classiest drink its the cheapest drunk I've ever had.

Professor Snuggles · « **Reply #36 on:** 02 Sep 2010, 01:19 »

Quote from: Christophe on 01 Sep 2010, 22:08

11% alcohol, oodles of caffeine. I have been drunk for only an hour and a half; it's 10:00pm now but my mind is in 1:30 mode.

Fuck you, 4loko.

Fuck you so hard.

Also it has wormwood extract and 12% ABV and if you ever talk shit about loko again I will cut you.

JD · « **Reply #37 on:** 02 Sep 2010, 01:40 »

It looks like it tastes terrible.

Patrick · « **Reply #38 on:** 02 Sep 2010, 05:22 »

Quote from: Professor Snuggles on 02 Sep 2010, 01:19

if you ever talk shit about loko again I will cut you.

FTFY Kiff

look out! Ninjas! · « **Reply #39 on:** 02 Sep 2010, 06:49 »

I have no idea where I can but damn it I want one or twelve of those right now.

Boro_Bandito · « **Reply #40 on:** 02 Sep 2010, 06:55 »

Seriously, after drinking two of those in a row I was literally the drunkest I have ever been in my life. You do not want 12 of them. My lighter weight younger brother did the same and ended up passed out on the kitchen floor because he told me "well I realized I needed to lie down and it looked so comfortable". He then spent the next 3 hours throwing up in the sink, finally managed to get him downstairs to sleep on the couch. He was more or less blacked out the entire time, he remembered very little in the morning.

Also the blue raspberry tastes like burnetts with gasoline in it, the only manageable flavors are orange, lemonade and cranberry lemonade. the watermelon is.... okay.

look out! Ninjas! · « **Reply #41 on:** 02 Sep 2010, 07:02 »

The real issue is how the hell do I get some in South Australia?

I mean ffs I can't even find out if some unscrupulous character is selling it on ebay because it keeps auto-correcting loko to look.
That is if its even import-legal.

Professor Snuggles · « **Reply #42 on:** 02 Sep 2010, 07:08 »

Far as I know it's only American. Almost took some with me to Israel just so I wouldn't be lokoless for too long.

It's perfect booze, man. Never go more than 8loko, I like to stick at 6loko, generally. Cranberry Lemonade and orange are the best, grape is so far and beyond the worst I can't even comprehend.

Christophe · « **Reply #43 on:** 02 Sep 2010, 08:26 »

Honestly I'm not really talking shit about it too much, that was all off the bender I had from drinking it last night. For my height and weight it was an insta-drunk kit.

It's one of those things that in a perfect world shouldn't exist but which in this world I am glad that it does.

Professor Snuggles · « **Reply #44 on:** 02 Sep 2010, 09:19 »

The world would be far less perfect without loko, my friend.

Boro_Bandito · « **Reply #45 on:** 02 Sep 2010, 11:36 »

I'm actually pretty okay at 8Loko, its not a thing I do often because I can get a bit silly drunk at the end, but I'm usually okay.

The fastest I've done it was at about 1 hour even and it was almost too much, the last half of the can can get intense. I usually tend to stick around 6Loko as well, and that's generally over a stretch of an hour and a half.

sean · « **Reply #46 on:** 02 Sep 2010, 12:49 »

so wait are there different products called 6loko and 8loko?

i swear i need to try this shit.

october1983 · « **Reply #47 on:** 02 Sep 2010, 13:10 »

i'm pretty sure that's not what it means.

Patrick · « **Reply #48 on:** 02 Sep 2010, 14:04 »

It's not. Subdivide yr numbers, boyo.

Professor Snuggles · « **Reply #49 on:** 03 Sep 2010, 00:10 »

Quote from: Sam on 02 Sep 2010, 09:52

i have yet to ocholoko. Is it best to do this over the course of an afternoon/evening? 4loko got me silly, i am thinking seisloko could be fun. But honestly I'm not sure if i could taste any of their flavors for the 48oz duration

Water Joe. Water Joe should never have been created

if you OchoLoko, you stay in the house, and you pray no one is around to see you. Or that they're equally loko. Sam, the best is to get an orange and a cran lem and drink em fast, but not too fast. Like, loko, bud tallboy, loko is my shit. Then like, whatever else is around. Loko is only really dangerous because fuck yeah you keep drinking afterwards.

See this amazingly awesome hipinion thread for details about how things can go.

http://forums.hipinion.com/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=14628&start=0

THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

Author Topic: Products that should never have been created (Read 24233 times)

Zingoleb

Zingoleb

Ptommydski

Zingoleb

Zingoleb