Topic: Stupidest episodes of Star Trek (Read 8987 times)

KharBevNor · « **on:** 26 Oct 2010, 13:50 »

We can probably open this out to include all series but '95% of the episodes of Star Trek Voyager' may not be that interesting.

I say the stupidest episode of Star Trek, probably all series actually, is Spock's Brain. Hands down.

jwhouk · « **Reply #1 on:** 26 Oct 2010, 13:57 »

ST:TNG First Season - The Naked Now.

scarred · « **Reply #2 on:** 26 Oct 2010, 14:06 »

It could be arguably not-stupid, but Shore Leave is an incredibly silly episode.

KharBevNor · « **Reply #3 on:** 26 Oct 2010, 15:35 »

Shore Leave was written by Theodore Sturgeon, of all people. Apparently his original script was so whacked out that Roddenberry was rewriting it even as it was being filmed to try and make it less crazy.

For an era update, imagine if they'd let William Gibson do an episode of TNG.

Ozymandias · « **Reply #4 on:** 26 Oct 2010, 15:36 »

Oh yes. This is a subject I know.

Take Me Out to the Holosuite - DS9

A personally viciously hated episode of mine. In the midst of one of the greatest wars in the history of the galaxy, a Vulcan war hero arrives at DS9 to be a douchebag to Sisko. The remedy? Baseball, motherfucker, yesssssssss. No wait. No. It's a boring shitty game and they don't even make it space baseball. Spaceball. No, it's just a fucking episode where the crew plays Vulcans at normal-ass Earth baseball.

Dear Doctor - Enterprise

1) An episode about Phlox wanting to get his bone on with a hot human crewmember. Great.
2) An episode where Archer invokes the prime directive before the fucker was even supposed to be invented. What?
3) An episode where Archer invokes said non-existent prime directive to justify lazy genocide of an entire alien race. Super.

Sub Rosa - TNG

Beverly Crusher is haunted by/in love with the ghost/"plasma alien" who possessed every female member of her family going back generations because it wanted to bone them. Not a word of that is made up.

The Q and the Grey - Voyager

The Q continuum is in a civil war. How does a race of omnipotent, omniscient beings have a civil war? Why, American Civil War Reenactment of course! Clever! Q's solution to end the war? Fuck Janeway! Voyager was not a good show, but man. What the Jesus Christ fuck.

scarred · « **Reply #5 on:** 26 Oct 2010, 15:39 »

I agree with all of those except the DS9 episode, because I loved that episode.

And holy fuck I forgot about that TNG episode till now. That was insane. I don't know why I kept watching it after the first two acts.

KharBevNor · « **Reply #6 on:** 26 Oct 2010, 15:53 »

I just looked up Shore Leave on Memory Alpha, the Star Trek Wiki, and read one of the most fantastic things that has ever passed in front of my eyes:

Quote

#
# A chained tiger is brought in to appear in the episode. While the tiger never directly interacts with any of the performers, William Shatner had originally hoped to wrestle it, but was convinced it would not be a wise decision.

Also it took a bit of googling because I had only vague recollections, but Voyager: Favorite Son. Also known as 'the remake of Spocks Brain but instead it's Ensign Kim and he nearly gets fucked to death'

Also the TOS episode with the Aliens who are exterminating each other because they are half black and half white (like mime make-up, like a line drawn down their middles) but on different sides, and the crew of the Enterprise can't see the difference, though I guess it was at least noble at the time.

Also I have a vague memory of something to do with Voyager and dinosaurs? Am I making that up? I haven't watched any Star Trek except classic ToS epuisodes and films for about five years, and I gave away all my star trek novels (which are a VERY rich vein of stupid indeed), though I still have the technical manuals and an incredible boxed set of the entire blueprints for the Enterprise D. I think my parents bought me it for Christmas when I was a total star trek nut?

Actually thinking about it I have a book of production designs from ToS and the Star Trek Encyclopedia somewhere too.

Ozymandias · « **Reply #7 on:** 26 Oct 2010, 16:09 »

There was Distant Origin with a plot combining Planet of the Apes and Doctor Who's Silurians.

scarred · « **Reply #8 on:** 26 Oct 2010, 16:15 »

I read a TNG novel where Wesley Crusher was having a sexual encounter and the girl walked on his spine and then he was paralyzed.

Quality stuff.

Ozymandias · « **Reply #9 on:** 26 Oct 2010, 16:36 »

Star Trek novels are pretty ass terrible.

KharBevNor · « **Reply #10 on:** 26 Oct 2010, 16:50 »

I wish I could remember more than sketchy details of any of the ones I owned. I remember that there were like, up to sixty novels for each fucking series.

Also unrelated, I am poking round Memory Alpha and holy shit you guys how did I not realise Reginald Barclay was Howling Mad Murdock?

Border Reiver · « **Reply #11 on:** 26 Oct 2010, 17:02 »

The near ten years in between series? And your probable age at the time?

Ozymandias · « **Reply #12 on:** 26 Oct 2010, 18:11 »

Quote from: KharBevNor on 26 Oct 2010, 16:50

Reginald Barclay was Howling Mad Murdock?

You just blew my fucking mind.

jwhouk · « **Reply #13 on:** 26 Oct 2010, 19:44 »

The black-and-white episode was "Let That Be Your Last Battlefield", and it was epic at the time it was originally aired (back in the late 60's).

And I should throw out a disclaimer: I was born just as TOS episode, "Mirror, Mirror" was airing - for the first time. (I have proof; I looked up the TV listings from the local paper on my DOB and found an ad for the episode. Kinda freaky, actually.)

Jimor · « **Reply #14 on:** 26 Oct 2010, 20:28 »

A lot of the object lessons in ToS were bonk you on the head obvious, but then this was a time when a lot of TV stations refused to air the Kirk/Uhura kiss, and the thought of sharing a drinking fountain with a black person was so icky there had to be laws against it.

Let me nominate And the Children Shall Lead.

The books were very inconsistent, but back when I read most of them, I had fun with them. There was one particularly silly one that was partially redeemed by a game of drunken golf between Scotty and a Klingon (WTF, my spellcheck recognizes an uncapitalized "klingon" as incorrect).

KharBevNor · « **Reply #15 on:** 27 Oct 2010, 03:44 »

'Klingon' and 'Trekkie' are in the OED.

jackmort · « **Reply #16 on:** 27 Oct 2010, 05:57 »

There was a Voyager episode in which seven of nine wrestled the rock, that was fucking ridiculous

Orbert · « **Reply #17 on:** 27 Oct 2010, 09:59 »

But The Rock was a hot commodity at the time, and Seven of Nine was also quite hot, so it made perfect sense.

Ozymandias · « **Reply #18 on:** 27 Oct 2010, 10:50 »

It was ridiculous, especially since Voyager was on UPN at the time- as was WWF Raw. So it was a network decision to crossover their two biggest shows. Which happened to be fucking Star Trek and fucking wrestling.

I have to say, though, despite how bad Voyager was and how ridiculous even the decision to put Seven in the show was just to up the sex appeal, they did actually do a good job with her most of the time. She was way more interesting than 90% of the cast, like Ensign Harry "Boring Asian Dude" Kim, Commander "Heavy-handed Native American Shit" Chakotay, and, of course, fucking Janeway.

scarred · « **Reply #19 on:** 27 Oct 2010, 12:11 »

I don't think I hated anyone on Voyager as much as I hated Nog on DS9, but maybe that's because Voyager was so universally terrible that it was hard to hate any one character specifically, whereas DS9 was a universally great show that just happened to have... Nog. Uggghhhhhh

jwhouk · « **Reply #20 on:** 27 Oct 2010, 16:30 »

Quote from: Jimor on 26 Oct 2010, 20:28

A lot of the object lessons in ToS were bonk you on the head obvious, but then this was a time when a lot of TV stations refused to air the Kirk/Uhura kiss, and the thought of sharing a drinking fountain with a black person was so icky there had to be laws against it.

Let me nominate And the Children Shall Lead.

The books were very inconsistent, but back when I read most of them, I had fun with them. There was one particularly silly one that was partially redeemed by a game of drunken golf between Scotty and a Klingon (WTF, my spellcheck recognizes an uncapitalized "klingon" as incorrect).

That one is my ALL TIME FAVORITE ST book: How Much For Just The Planet?

KharBevNor · « **Reply #21 on:** 27 Oct 2010, 16:32 »

Quote from: scarred on 27 Oct 2010, 12:11

DS9 was a universally great show

scarred · « **Reply #22 on:** 27 Oct 2010, 16:41 »

It had its fair share of awful episodes but the overall arc was great and shut up I was like 7 when I watched it growing up.

Ozymandias · « **Reply #23 on:** 27 Oct 2010, 17:28 »

DS9 was pretty good dogg, you ain't gotta apologize for shit.

It is the only Star Trek where the best episode didn't involve time manipulation. (TOS- City on the Edge of Forever, TNG - The Inner Light, DS9 - In the Pale Moonlight, Voyager - Year of Hell, Enterprise - Through a Mirror, Darkly)

jackmort · « **Reply #24 on:** 27 Oct 2010, 19:37 »

Quote from: KharBevNor on 26 Oct 2010, 16:50

Also unrelated, I am poking round Memory Alpha and holy shit you guys how did I not realise Reginald Barclay was Howling Mad Murdock?

Also something I didn't realise, Worf is actually played by Mr. T

David_Dovey · « **Reply #25 on:** 27 Oct 2010, 20:19 »

And the Enterprise is just a GMC Vandura with pipes glued to the sides

KharBevNor · « **Reply #26 on:** 28 Oct 2010, 03:43 »

Would I be strung up from a pole if I said I thought that The Trouble With Tribbles is, on balance, my favourite episode of ToS (If not maybe 'the best' objectively).

Actually TwT is kind of stupid anyway when you think about it.

Jimor · « **Reply #27 on:** 28 Oct 2010, 03:56 »

Not at all. Humor never gets enough respect, and when you look at that episode, there was a lot of nice insight into many of the characters as well as the Klingons, so I'd be all right with it being nominated as "the best" by any criteria.

I've started watching Enterprise online on the CBS site (only available in U.S. I'm sure) for the first time. So far, just starting season 2, I've been pleasantly surprised by it. Solid stories and characters, and a real sense of exploring while developing what the mission means to them.

One problem I always had with Voyager was a total lack of any sense of Journey to it all. Which is one of things my writing partner and I tried to sneak into one of our pitches to the show.

Ozymandias · « **Reply #28 on:** 28 Oct 2010, 07:56 »

If you're enjoying Enterprise thus far, which I insist is actually fairly reasonable, I think you might find seasons 3 and 4 to be quite a treat.

What's interesting is than Ronald D. Moore was in charge of Voyager for about the first three episodes before leaving because he though it was going in a moronic direction. Battlestar Galactica actually represents the sort of direction he wanted to take the show in- not quite as political and dark perhaps as BSG ended up being, but definitely how the Galactica slowly fell apart through the course of the show and the tensions of being completely alone in hostile lands and how that would play on the characters' struggle to uphold Federation ideals. Not to mention he wouldn't have forgotten half the crew was Maquis midway through the first season.

Orbert · « **Reply #29 on:** 28 Oct 2010, 08:23 »

I actually watched every episode of Voyager, either its original broadcast or recorded or caught the repeat sometime during the week. I did this for seven years, because I couldn't believe that they could blow such an interesting premise, a premise which such amazing potential. And nine out of ten times, they'd disappoint of course, but then they'd have an actually good episode where a character shows actual growth, or they actually do something involving real sci-fi and I'd go "Yes! They're finally getting it!" And then next week I'd be disappointed again, but in the meantime my hopes were raised enough to keep me going. I can't believe I watched the entire series, and nothing ever happened.

Ozymandias · « **Reply #30 on:** 28 Oct 2010, 08:39 »

Hey, something happened!

Janeway broke the Temporal Prime Directive and caused the extinction of an entire species in order to save one person. That happened.

scarred · « **Reply #31 on:** 28 Oct 2010, 11:37 »

I watched Enterprise pretty regularly when it was on TV and enjoyed it pretty thoroughly. Midway through the third season the Xindi plotline got a little ridiculous but I really respect what they were trying to do, and the first half of that season was awesome. The fourth season was really solid too, apart from the atrocious finale.

Ozymandias · « **Reply #32 on:** 28 Oct 2010, 11:54 »

Berman and Braga, man. Season 4 of Enterprise was the first time they relinquished control of Star Trek since DS9 and it showed. Manny Coto and his writing team had a deep love of the good parts of Star Trek continuity and an understanding of how to make it work. It was the first time the show really felt like a prequel to TOS and it was really utterly fantastic at it. I actually lament the show got canceled after that since season 5 was going to be the Earth-Romulan War and that's awesome.

That finale was utterly abysmal though and the fact that that was the last episode of Star Trek ever is horrifying.

scarred · « **Reply #33 on:** 28 Oct 2010, 11:56 »

Yeah, the world will be a better place once Berman and Braga burn.

The Borg episodes were so good too.

Alex C · « **Reply #34 on:** 28 Oct 2010, 12:12 »

Quote from: Ozymandias on 28 Oct 2010, 08:39

Hey, something happened!

Janeway broke the Temporal Prime Directive and caused the extinction of an entire species in order to save one person. That happened.

I remember thinking that Spock's head would have exploded.

Jimor · « **Reply #35 on:** 28 Oct 2010, 12:29 »

Quote from: Orbert on 28 Oct 2010, 08:23

I actually watched every episode of Voyager, either its original broadcast or recorded or caught the repeat sometime during the week. I did this for seven years, because I couldn't believe that they could blow such an interesting premise, a premise which such amazing potential. And nine out of ten times, they'd disappoint of course, but then they'd have an actually good episode where a character shows actual growth, or they actually do something involving real sci-fi and I'd go "Yes! They're finally getting it!" And then next week I'd be disappointed again, but in the meantime my hopes were raised enough to keep me going. I can't believe I watched the entire series, and nothing ever happened.

Watching Voyager is like playing golf (for most of us) that way. Almost every shot is a flub or flies off into the trees. But then you hit the sweet spot, the trajectory is perfect, and the ball nestles 2 feet from the pin, and you think "Man, I am almost there, can't wait to come back next week!"

Kugai · « **Reply #36 on:** 28 Oct 2010, 23:56 »

Voyager had a lot of good episodes interspersed with some real barking ones. The business with the Equinox showed just how much potential there could have been. The Borg episodes were some of the best. I think that the replacement of Bujold with Mulgrew was, in many ways, a good move.

Beltran's Chakotay had potential to be an adversarial foil for Mulgrew's Janeway, but unfortunately his character got stifled and he became a cypher (whom we ff fans call Chuckles).

Seven's introduction had the potential to introduce a new random element, and in many ways it worked.

But she should have wound up with B'Elanna and not Chuckles!!!!!!! - That would have been an innovation.

Ozymandias · « **Reply #37 on:** 29 Oct 2010, 00:11 »

Well, pack up folks, we just hit nerd bedrock and this thread can't get any lower.

scarred · « **Reply #38 on:** 29 Oct 2010, 00:18 »

But we haven't even gotten to Archer/Trip shipping yet!

KharBevNor · « **Reply #39 on:** 29 Oct 2010, 00:37 »

What about crossover.

What if when she was travelling in time Janeway were to meet a certain raffish alien medical professional.

Alex C · « **Reply #40 on:** 29 Oct 2010, 01:08 »

I always kinda felt like any Voyager episode was kinda doomed to be a letdown compared to its opening theme anyway.

Tom · « **Reply #41 on:** 29 Oct 2010, 03:12 »

On a partially related note; Sulu was on Community last night, I wish my name was Kevin.

jackmort · « **Reply #42 on:** 29 Oct 2010, 14:52 »

Voyager had a few decent characters, 7 of 9 and the Doctor are great, I have a soft-spot for neelix and I didn't hate Janeway, most of the rest of them were very bland and generic though. That said I liked the plots in Voyager. One of the things I love most about Star Trek is the mad head-fuck episodes which don't make sense.

DS9 had great characters, very deep and engaging, but most of the epps were about space politics and I always found that fucking dull.
I'd much rather see an epp with a photon jelly-fish alien making everyone talk backwards

Orbert · « **Reply #43 on:** 29 Oct 2010, 15:01 »

Here's something I point out to Star Trek fans: Peter Anspach's Star Trek Parodies. Each answers the question "How many crew members does it take to change a light bulb?"

I've read them all, chuckled much, and literally laughed out loud multiple times. Each is written in the distinctive style of the series it satirizes, right down to the title of the episode. Enjoy!

Inlander · « **Reply #44 on:** 29 Oct 2010, 21:06 »

Quote from: jackmort on 29 Oct 2010, 14:52

Voyager had a few decent characters, 7 of 9 and the Doctor are great

Yeah but do you remember that episode where they went down to that planet and for some reason it spawned an evil-twin doctor? Even the hammiest panto villain in the world would be embarassed at Robert Picardo's acting in that one.

Kugai · « **Reply #45 on:** 30 Oct 2010, 14:19 »

Islander, are you thinking of the Episode where the Doc decided to improve his Personality Matrix by studying and taking on the characteristics of such personalities from history as Ghandi, Mother Theresa or Isaac Newton, but due to an overload malfunction while trying to combine these traits he instead takes on the darker aspects of said worthies and becomes a raving paranoid psychopath?

Ozymandias · « **Reply #46 on:** 30 Oct 2010, 14:43 »

I'm watching TNG- The Game right now.

This qualifies for this thread.

KickThatBathProf · « **Reply #47 on:** 01 Nov 2010, 15:15 »

Hey I just watched that awful one too.

But then I watched Darmok and all was forgiven

KvP · « **Reply #48 on:** 02 Nov 2010, 02:21 »

Quote from: Ozymandias on 30 Oct 2010, 14:43

I'm watching TNG- The Game right now.

This qualifies for this thread.

Is this one of those things?

God I just

love these

so much

Johnny C · « **Reply #49 on:** 02 Nov 2010, 09:37 »

it's obviously spock's brain but the way to eden is the runner-up

THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

Author Topic: Stupidest episodes of Star Trek (Read 8987 times)