Comic Discussion > QUESTIONABLE CONTENT
WCDT 15-19 November 2010 (1796-1800)
ChippyD:
I'm seeing this in a different way than most people are.
1. Dora is a pervert. She's open, she likes sexy things, and the conversation was revolving around it.
2. Martin acts shy and akward. Which would have been fine if Martin had actually stayed that way.
3. Martin makes a mistake in trying to make some sly joke. If you really don't want someone to look at something, you say it firmly. Serious statements get serious responses. Not even Hannelor or Marigolde could have taken Martin's statement about his hypothetical tastes as being serious.
4. Dora, being playful and overexcited by sexy issues, thinks this is still a game, and really just wants to play further. Rushing out, she probably doesn't hear Martin's rather pathetic "H-hey!".
5. Dora's naturally disapointed that there's no juicy porn tidbits. She may have actually been excited that there was some devilishly sexy side of Martin.
6. Martin, not realizing that he had failed to communicate that he was being serious, thinks Dora is trodding all over him, just like everyone else tends to. He snaps for it.
The crux of the situation? Martin's never had a girlfriend as forward as Dora (Jedi-mindtricks away bad typo), Dora's no doubt never had a boyfriend as reserved as Martin. I get the impression they've never actually set personal boundaries. You can't respect them if you have no idea where they are. I'm not inclined to blame anyone in this situation in particular, so much as hope they actually realize this is whats happened, and that they need to actually work out when to know when something is just a joke, or truely offlimits. I sympathize because I myself am a MAJOR pervert, ever since I was a teenager. For a long time I didn't know when to reel back that side of me, and I've jeopardized quite a few relationships because I crossed over boundaries I didn't understand. But I learned.
Moxie:
The really sad part, hannahsaurusrex, is that ChibiSoma really does have an honest point.
ChibiSoma says:
--- Quote from: ChibiSoma on 15 Nov 2010, 16:12 ---She wants to basically dominate every aspect of his life. Anything outside of that control, she has a shit fit about. And she won't fucking listen to reason until someone basically gets in her face and screams at her to shut the fuck up.
--- End quote ---
You pointed out the list of things Dora has blown out of proportion:
--- Quote from: hannahsaurusrex on 15 Nov 2010, 12:37 ---Let's list the highlights of their more than five minute fights:
haircut (because it lasted the whole day), girl comeon, Sven, pantless 3am hugging, forbidden porn
--- End quote ---
All of these relation to things that Marten has done/things that have happened to Marten that Dora had no control over. And when she doesn't have that control, she gets paranoid that Marten is going to turn out to be like the assholes she's dated before (my theory). Dora really does have some serious issues, and really therapy would be the best thing for her. Each time something happens she says she's going to work on it, but she doesn't seem to be getting any better at all.
To alter a bit what someone1074 said, I seriously hope that it turns into something like:
Dora: "I was just kidding around. I'm sorry."
Marten: "I wasn't. Why didn't you listen to me?"
Dora: "I didn't think this was serious. Forgive me?"
Marten: "I may be able to forgive you, but I certainly don't think I can trust you. And if this relationship is going to continue on as a good, solid relationship, I think you should get therapy. Maybe me too."
One more thought - interesting that this seems to be the first time the tables have really turned, that Marten has done something and is reacting in a way that is completely baffling Dora.
Also - I think ChippyD has a good point too. Again, with the communication thing!
rje:
--- Quote from: themacnut on 15 Nov 2010, 15:13 ---Many people think there should be no privacy or boundaries between SOs or spouses, except maybe when going to the bathroom. More often than not the people with the "no privacy" view have adopted that view partly because previous SOs have used "privacy" to cover up various nefarious deeds, such as cheating. I'm sure this especially applies to Dora and her relationship history-it could be that she refuses to respect Marten's privacy because previous SOs have used privacy to cover up things they're doing that could, and have, hurt Dora. So Dora's trying to protect herself by not allowing Marten to hide anything from her.
Yeah, it sounds horrible, but since it appears Dora's had a history of dating assholes, it's understandable. It hasn't really sunk into her head yet that Marten really is different. Just another one of the hazards of dating someone whose previous SOs were assholes or bitches.
--- End quote ---
This.
I am convinced that's the root of Dora's odd behavior - because seriously, that is kind of odd to me. Sure, she'd probably still try to find out what it is, but leaving work so quickly, as if it's a Huge Important Mission to find this out -NOW-? That's what someone does who's quietly freaking out. It also explains her letdown/annoyance that it was nothing - that didn't solve the problem, because that wasn't the problem.
The fact his porn was so whitebread probably made it -worse- in her mind.
She's got her issues and I agree that if she doesn't start working on them in more ways than just 'I'm working on them' (I'd say therapy - altho wasn't she seeing Faye's therapist, or did I make that up?) then they're going to cause bigger and bigger problems, but I can understand how she's just -not used to being with a guy that's okay now-.
It's not the same, but I was with someone for just about 8 years with, to put it delicately, sexual dysfunctions, which caused sex to be like the Olympics. Quickies or anything casual was out of the question, foreplay was useless and The Orgasm became the ultimate, only goal. Now I'm with someone with normal sexual functions, have been for close to 3 years, and I STILL think something's wrong when he climaxes within an hour or get scared that he's gonna lose his erection if I don't get him off RIGHT NOW.
Past relationship negatives just get -burned- into your brain, and it's really hard to scrape those seared-in expectations off. I really think Dora needs more help to do that.
The Duke:
--- Quote from: LeeC on 14 Nov 2010, 23:33 ---I wouldnt mind seeing him going to the bar again and talking with Jimbo
--- End quote ---
No doubt. And then he passes along some ridiculously profound and insightful relationship advice.
And then he passes out.
--- Quote from: Mojo on 15 Nov 2010, 00:26 ---I can only imagine that they have awesome makeup sex considering how hard Dora works at screwing...
<misleading snip>
--- End quote ---
heh heh, screwing
flamingo:
--- Quote from: ChippyD on 15 Nov 2010, 16:37 ---I'm seeing this in a different way than most people are.
1. Dora is a pervert. She's open, she likes sexy things, and the conversation was revolving around it.
2. Martin acts shy and akward. Which would have been fine if Martin had actually stayed that way.
3. Martin makes a mistake in trying to make some sly joke. If you really don't want someone to look at something, you say it firmly. Serious statements get serious responses. Not even Hannelor or Marigolde could have taken Martin's statement about his hypothetical tastes as being serious.
4. Dora, being playful and overexcited by sexy issues, thinks this is still a game, and really just wants to play further. Rushing out, she probably doesn't hear Martin's rather pathetic "H-hey!".
5. Dora's naturally disapointed that there's no juicy porn tidbits. She may have actually been excited that there was some devilishly sexy side of Martin.
6. Martin, not realizing that he had failed to communicate that he was being serious, thinks Dora is trodding all over him, just like everyone else tends to. He snaps for it.
--- End quote ---
This. Shit will be over soon and theyll make up. like its happened before. Its almost like fight, make up is Jeph's filler now
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