Comic Discussion > QUESTIONABLE CONTENT

WCDT 15-19 November 2010 (1796-1800)

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Torlek:

--- Quote from: tbones on 15 Nov 2010, 19:24 ---
--- Quote from: rje on 15 Nov 2010, 18:32 ---Ehhhh that so did not look or sound like an actual apology to me - did it really, to you? It sounded like one of those 'I'm sorry you were offended' non-apology apologies. I mean she even said 'I didn't think it was any big deal' with this look on her face that would make it sound to me like 'I don't think IT SHOULD BE a big deal'

Well I'm sorry, you don't get to decide that, S.O. - I do.

Her reaction is just about the opposite of what it should be. I really hope that's her being defensive because she knows she fucked up and she can't deal with it - that doesn't make me like her behavior any more, but it's better than her being absolutely clueless about her mistake. Willfully so, even.

--- End quote ---
that was just the heat of the discussion. Someone posted earlier the 3 (although there should be some more) rules for a relationship fights, and the third one was to let the anger cool down... they were both angry and they were shouting stupidity to each other.


I mean really, a (apparently) break up ONLY 'cause Dora look on Marten's porn? think about it, that's just silly.

--- End quote ---
That's an epic simplification of things. This isn't about the porn. It's about Marten having to tip-toe around all of Dora's insecurities while she wantonly disregards his. Really if you boil it down it's a trust issue. Dora is obviously incapable of trusting Marten. She refuses to believe that he's not just another jackass in sheep's clothing.
Can she have insecurities? Yeah, everybody's got them. Can she be bitchy from time to time? Yeah, everybody flies off the hook because of something stupid every once in a while. The difference is adults realize they're being stupid and own up to it. Dora's just being childish. While I'm normally all for understanding both sides, being the bigger person, being magnanimous and all other noble and rational things, Marten is fully within his rights here. Adult relationships are about compromise. Only compromise I've seen Dora make is moving in with Marten instead of the other way around. I don't hate her by any means because her character strengths and flaws remind me of my girlfriend in many ways, which is why I live in fear of this kind of situation, she just needs to grow up.

MillionDollar Belt Sander:

--- Quote from: Soluzar on 15 Nov 2010, 19:27 ---They both want out.

--- End quote ---


I was wondering this myself... 

raoullefere:

--- Quote from: iduguphergrave on 15 Nov 2010, 18:23 --- :-o I trade my "oh boy" for an "oh MAN"

What this strip says to me most of all is that both Marten and Dora have serious issues. Marten had a right to be angry, but he went off a little too hard on Dora there; he let his resentment for her behavior build up just a little too long and it all came rushing out at the wrong time.

Somebody one this forum once said that Dora is subconsciously looking for ways Marten is really an asshole underneath it all and once she has that reason, she'd leap on it and wreck the relationship (again, subconsciously). I wish I could remember who that person was because I think they were right; Dora's "Well. I guess that's it then." speaks volumes. She's not willing to talk about it. She's not willing to let him be entitled to his feelings (and after all he's been through, Marten is totally entitled to his anger, even if it came out the wrong way). She just assumes it over because that's probably how her relationships in the past ended.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUH3JQjcweM

--- End quote ---
Well, I did, several times. I don't know if I'm the originator, though.

I don't know that this is the end. It is a wake-up call to Dora and, possibly, to Marten. The real question is, will any waking occur, or will they roll over and go back to bed?

More immediately, I'm wondering if Dora moves out, and if so, where?

mickcheese:

--- Quote from: Soluzar on 15 Nov 2010, 19:36 ---The facial expressions tell me a lot. The fact that they both seem to be using something trivial as an excuse to fight tells me even more. Dora could have just let it go, and not raided his laptop. She had to know he wouldn't be pleased. Her expression when he got home said she knew he wasn't pleased. Marten could have done his usual impression of an invertebrate. Both of them deliberately turned this into a fight.
--- End quote ---
Well, I agree that they're both ready to fight about this, but that doesn't mean they want to end things. Some fights need to happen.

Fighting does not always, or even usually, lead to a breakup. This is an issue that needed to be addressed and since it was an emotional issue addressing it would probably have to happen during a fight (like it did) or become a fight of it's own (like it evolved into), but that doesn't mean either one of them wanted to stop seeing each other. Dora's personal issues with relationships make her think that failure is the only option, but I very much doubt that Martin's going to let it end like this.

Emperor Norton:
I'll say that... Dora fucked up. No doubt. I don't hate her though. I've seen this exact type of situation too much before myself.

That said... while not the biggest fuckup going on here, Marten needs to not hold all that in. Being a good guy doesn't mean ignoring problems after you have a fight. Which is what he has done so far. They get into a fight, she finally realises she overreacted to something, and he accepts the apology immediately then drops it without talking about it again.

And during all that, you can tell that he has really been carrying a lot of baggage through this. And that baggage has to eventually go somewhere.

I feel bad for both of them here. I've been on both sides of this before, and its just no fun.

But, overall I think they will work through it. My marriage has been through its fair share of psychotic blowups, and when you really love someone, you work through it.

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