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Yes.

15 (5%)

No, it's not the same.

14 (4.7%)

No, it's even worse.

25 (8.4%)

No, it means Dora's history.

30 (10.1%)

No, because it's going to end different.

19 (6.4%)

No, because there's emergency bourbon.

17 (5.7%)

UBMEOD!

34 (11.4%)

Oh heck, who am I kidding?

4 (1.3%)

(sniff) No, I've just got (sniff) allergies...

31 (10.4%)

This thread is gonna hit 40 pages by tomorrow, isn't it?

109 (36.6%)

Total Members Voted: 237

[westrim]

I wonder what the turkeys will have to say about all of this on Thanksgiving- or will they just lust for Hannelore again?

[Tergon]

And more importantly, can a turkey be trained to wield a Useless Broom Made Entirely Out Of Dicks?

[akronnick]

I don't think so, we'll probably have to ride them like cavalry...

[snubnose]

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Nothing much happening today.

The suspense continues.

[Tergon]

Akronnick, I can think of no more appropriate steed for a Knight Of The Dickbroom than a foul-mouthed, perpetually shouting, lust-crazed bird with a scrotum hanging from its chin and a distinctive cry of "Gobble gobble gobble".

[laizeohbeets]

You know, it just occurred to me. If there's  going to be a cliffhanger on Friday, the comic will probably be posted when I (and probably a few others) will be watching Harry Potter 7. It better be a damn good cliffhanger to make me stumble in at 3am and open up the forum page.

[Is it cold in here?]

They really need a couples counselor to teach them how to fight more productively and less damagingly. The flames should give light as well as heat.

But that would be neither funny nor dramatic, so I fear it's not in their future.

[AnAverageWriter]

Blargh.

Here I was writing up an overly long post about how it seems like this entire time Marigold might have been thinking about Tai's proposal during the last segment (as a response to people who keep trying to put Angus and Marigold together), and suddenly the forum gets a half page full of dick-broom swinging.

Seriously, Marigold may have never even thought about the possibility that she might be bisexual until it was really brought up to her, and who knows- she might be willing to try.

Which of course has nothing to do with the drama-llama antics prancing through the current story arc, but the people talking about breaking up Faye and Angus motivated me.

[Deadlywonky]

Proud guardian of the original Useless Broom Made Entirely Out Of Dicks

Does it have wood?

 

*grabs coat, dives into waiting taxi*

[CXA26483]

So, I registered here, as this has probably been the most on-edge-of-seat I've been during the entire QC story (although I started reading late, so I got caught up and read through all the other times that probably would've happened).

I have to say, I'm not for or against them breaking up/staying together. Every relationship has its issues, and as soon as one party stops trying to make it work (by this I mean, resolve problems that exist), it falls apart. On the one hand, by and large, this is true, as I've seen, and in my own experience. At the same time though, it'd be ridiculous to keep taking shit from your significant other. Some things just can't be resolved, and I'd give some examples, but I think you understand my point. I remind myself of this every time myself and my girlfriend fight, and as cold/calculated as it sounds, I keep track of when something comes up again, or when I myself am getting overworkedup about something. Maybe it's just that this is the first comic I've read religiously since I started, but I tend to think Marten does this as well. Not that I'm saying either he's the perfect guy or anything, everyone's got their problems. However, he seems to be a lot more in touch with himself than Dora, who has never really worked on her issues enough to get to that point.

On a side note, if Marten cheats on Dora with Faye before they're officially broken up, I will hate him probably for the rest of the comic. It's a horrible thing to do to a person. Not that that really matters to anyone but me.

Realistically speaking, I see that happening though. QC has kinda been dreamland for everyone for some time, and that would definitely shake it up. My theory?

Dora talks with Sven and becomes determined to solver her trust issues, etc.
Marten and Faye go back to the apartment, finish the Midnight Hobo, and end up kissing on the couch, to which Dora walks in on.
Dora doesn't know what to say, runs back to Sven's, and stays the night there.
Sven goes into "DEFENSIVE BROTHER" mode, goes to pick up Dora's stuff from the apartment, and gets in some sort of fight with Marten (got a feeling it won't be physical though).
Dora Moves in with Sven, and fires Faye.
For some time, Sven and Dora are at odds with Faye and Marten. The rest of the characters try and stay out of it, but side with Marten, causing Dora to come back to Marten (who is ravaged with anger/sorrow at himself for cheating on Dora).
Faye and Marten agree that that night is a mistake (though Faye's real feelings for Marten have deepened).
Faye fakes it with Angus, and Marten/Dora's relationship grows stronger.
Rest assured after all this, no one (viewers or the characters) will forget what happens during the strips that play this out. There will be future strips which reference this with other fights, like Sven getting angry at Dora for going back to Marten, etc.

[akronnick]

Akronnick, I can think of no more appropriate steed for a Knight Of The Dickbroom than a foul-mouthed, perpetually shouting, lust-crazed bird with a scrotum hanging from its chin and a distinctive cry of "Gobble gobble gobble".

And that is now my signature...

[Is it cold in here?]

All these elaborate speculations about what might happen are flawed by the absence from them of Hannerdad.

[Dr. ROFLPWN]

*Follows Tergon into the melee wielding his uwn UBMEOD*

WE FIGHT AS ONE, AKRONNICK!

FOR THE ORDER OF THE DICKBROOM!  FOR THE PREVENTING OF A FIFTY-PAGE THREAD THIS WEEK!  FOR GLORY AND FOR FAITH IN JEPH!

CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!




Edit for raoullefere:
It makes a sort of wet flapping sound, it's really quite unpleasant.

....I have heard the word of Tergon, and seen his noble deeds before...Yet I forsook that path, for the ways of spite and bile at shippers, and "Dora is a bitch no matter what she does" folk...

...And now I see him, fighting against the horde though it be fifteen pages strong! Resplendent is his turkey, and mighty his multiplicitous phallic cleaning implement!

And I am shamed. I have been wrong. There is still faith in Jeph. We may hold that much.

TERGON! AKRONNICK! If you would have this fool's UBMEOD...it is yours!

[Arky]

Anyone else notice that when Dora and Marten are fighting, the comics get posted like...really early?  Or is it just me?

It's not just you.  It's because Jeph pre-scripts all TEH DRAMA in advance instead of commencing the scripting-and-drawing process at like midnight as he does for the comedy.


The sudden outpouring of hope for Farten is a laugh.  The best writing and drawing in the strip has been devoted to their relationship- and how they are best friends but are NOT actually quite right for each other, and Faye at least has moved on from there.  And Marty isn't going to foul Angus' game.  The renewal of Farten would be ripping up hundreds of strips of characterization.  Forget it.  Anyone referring to is as Fayten is IN DENIAL.  Sorry to whoever the guy was who said he reads the strip for Farten and for Marigold... that's like the dead opposite of what I read it for.  I'm gonna win, dammit, so you'll just have to be disappointed     I dunno that Faye and Angus will last, but it will last longer than this (I am a bit disappointed that we've had so much Marigold and so little Fangus since Faye's first date with Angus, but I guess I can't have absolutely everything). Count me in with whoever said Faye ought to take that bottle over to Angus' place and dive into bed with him, though, and leave Marten and Dora to sort themselves out.  She is best friend and roommate to both, and this time the conflict is not about her- she can only damage her relationships with them by getting involved straight away.

I said yesterday I'd like to see this lead to Dora v Sven... didn't think we'd get to Dora seeing Sven so soon, but it's hard to say whether they'll have it out straight away.  Sven is in an odd place right now, mentally.  Cannot predict what he'll say to Dora.

Someone in this thread has suggested that Marten should hook up with NO-ONE for a while after the breakup, and spend more time with Steve and talk to his Mom and stuff.  I think I'd like to see this.  A lot of comedy and character growth potential.  Maybe if he's getting really blue-balled Raven could make a flying visit to town and not believe her luck that Marty and Sven are both single and that Dora can't fire her for screwing either of them.  I miss Raven (and all the other characters we never really get to see anymore like Steve and Penelope and Wil, all thanks to that screentime-hogging Marigold thing.  Le sigh).

[Shadic]

..Fuck it. I'm making UBMEOD nunchucks.

New avatar and everything. It's time to Alakadoof some shit up.

[Arky]

If I was Marten I would just try and convey to Faye that I didn't care about her hangups, but it'd be tough. I think this is one of those instances where the man really needs to take control - he should just get drunk with her, then gently but firmly rub her up against a wall by her wrists and start kissing and dry humping her while whispering in her ear about how much he likes her, sexually as well as a friend. Though at first she might be disconcerted or disorientated it's important he never stop - Marten is passive by nature but if he apologises and walks away it will just add to Faye's abandonment issues as she'll feel that her crying or screaming for him to stop has pushed him away. Unfortunately I don't think Marten has the willpower to do this ... really, what he needs is a good friend who would help him out by lacing his drink with cocaine or some other aggressant that would allow him to really let his inhibitions go and confess his feelings, but I don't think any are up to it 

...

... really?

REALLY?!

I'm... I'm... I'm speechless.

I said something yesterday about how people are projecting themselves onto the characters in the way they talk about the situation.  We're learning some truly dreadful things about our fellow readers, eh?

By the way, a number of people (especially people new to the forum) have expressed distress over the number of people who hate Dora.  To those people:  don't worry.  If you show up here the next time Faye punches someone, you'll learn there's also plenty of hate for "violent psychopath" Faye who doesn't understand that violence is not OK just because it's female on male.  And if Marten had roled over to Dora's non-apology here, people showing hate for "doormat" "personality-less" Marten.  You get the idea.  It's the internet.  It comes with the territory.

I don't think anyone hates Hanners though.  We all love Hanners!

[akronnick]

Faye hasn't punched anyone in a good long time.

Everybody expected her to beat the lliving shit out of Sven when that all happened, but she just got up and left without saying a word. And I don't think she's committed any acts of violence since then. (Muffins flung at hippies, but that's it)

Dora, however...

[Tergon]

TERGON! AKRONNICK! If you would have this fool's UBMEOD...it is yours!

Join with us, good Doctor, and may your Dickbroom flail in the face of many an ignorant Fan-Troll.  Ride 'til only the open plains lie before you!


Also, good to see some saner opinions reading through this thread, especially in the last few pages.  Maybe if we actually gave Jeph a little more credit instead of screaming in hate every time he does something new, he'd be more cheerful about visiting these threads.    It's a pleasure to see some folks do agree.  The Order of the Dickbroom smiles upon you all.

[westrim]

I said something yesterday about how people are projecting themselves onto the characters in the way they talk about the situation.  We're learning some truly dreadful things about our fellow readers, eh?

By the way, a number of people (especially people new to the forum) have expressed distress over the number of people who hate Dora.  To those people:  don't worry.  If you show up here the next time Faye punches someone, you'll learn there's also plenty of hate for "violent psychopath" Faye who doesn't understand that violence is not OK just because it's female on male.  And if Marten had roled over to Dora's non-apology here, people showing hate for "doormat" "personality-less" Marten.  You get the idea.  It's the internet.  It comes with the territory.

I don't think anyone hates Hanners though.  We all love Hanners!

Especially the lust turkeys.

I am perhaps a bit too proud that I decided not to be one of those people this time. I guess I'm just getting more patient, or maybe it's this essay I should be writing.

*Hops on feathered steed and rides East** into the setting sun.*

Akronnick, I can think of no more appropriate steed for a Knight Of The Dickbroom than a foul-mouthed, perpetually shouting, lust-crazed bird with a scrotum hanging from its chin and a distinctive cry of "Gobble gobble gobble".

And that is now my signature...

As  the impetus for this line of thought, you're welcome.

** That's-the-joke.jpg.

[IanClark]

*stares at thread*

*looks down at The Useless Broom Made Entirely Out Of Dicks*

*looks back at thread*

...so be it ...if it must be done...

Okay, first things first:  Marten and Faye are not about to randomly hook up.  There are seven things wrong with that idea, and each one of them is all of it.  Even if Marten still had serious romantic interest in Faye (he's said multiple times he does not), and even if Faye still had serious romantic interest in Marten (she's also said she does not), and even if Faye wasn't now into Angus (she is), and even if Dora and Marten do break up (they haven't), it still would not happen because Jeph is not a rejected writer from Friends.  Seriously, what the fuck.  Even if, IF the over-arching storyline of QC is leading toward them finally hooking up, it is absolutely nowhere near happening yet.  No amount of booze, emotions, lowered inhibitions or ANYTHING ELSE can make that plausible.

Next, Dora.
Yes, she's being a terrible bitch.  Eveyone in the comic has thus far realised it - including, and this is important, DORA HERSELF.  Her being an insecure control freak is not a sudden dramatic thing, it is in fact one of the biggest recurring themes in the relationship and has been a major plot point several times in the past.  Her insecurities have been a prevalent issue since literally within hours of her and Marten first hooking up when she collapsed in a ball of self-loathing after kissing him.  Getting sad because Marten might not really want her, getting touchy when other women interact with Marten, not trusting Faye and Marten together, not listening to Marten, not respecting Marten's privacy - they are all offshoots of the same fucking problem and this has been made abundantly clear, in canon, a dozen times.
Is this problem making hell for Marten?  Yes, obviously.  Is Marten sick of dealing with this problem?  Yes, obviously.  So why is he still dealing with it?  It is because Dora is his girlfriend and he obviously loves her and how the fucking hell is that not the most obvious thing of all, seriously.  He has his limits, God knows he has his limits, but he's making the effort because he's a human being with real emotions who's working to make his relationship last with someone he cares about.  If and when he reaches his limit the relationship might end, but he's not at the limit yet.  How can we tell?  Because he's still trying, even if he's bitter about it.  Yes, he's nearing his limit, but he is not going to decide to change everything now.  A relationship with someone you like isn't like changing your accounts to a new bank because you don't like the service at your old one, and acting like he can just "change his mind" about Dora is utterly, utterly retarded.  His actions up until this point, and Dora's actions up until this point, are completely logical, make perfect sense for their characters, and I for the life of me cannot see what all the confusion is about.

Yes, obviously, things are pretty fucking bad right now.  Will they break up?  Maybe.  Will they break up permanently?  I have no goddamn clue.  Maybe Marten's going to take that holiday he was talking to Dora about a while back, only by himself, to "clear his head" a little.  Or maybe Dora will actually find some way to come to terms with her issues.  Or maybe Marten will finally lose his famous cool, blow up at all the shit in his life, and they'll break up for good.  What's even MORE likely is that none of these things will happen in the next strip, or the next ten, or maybe even the next hundred, because only Jeph knows where the current arc is going and thus far he's prett good at defying our expectations.

If we are to continue thinking of Marten and Dora as reasonable people (or characters) then they should not break up over this.  Arguing otherwise is idiotic and proof that you know fuck-all about relationships.  But guess what?  NOBODY SAID THEY HAD TO BE FUCKING REASONABLE.  People, as a rule, are not reasonable or sensible in the vast majority of cases.  And even if Marten and Dora don't break up over this specific incident, maybe it'll be another one.  Or maybe they won't.  Screaming that they absolutely must do this or that will not only achieve nothing, it's stupid.  I, for one, lean toward them sticking together, even if things are mighty strained for a while, but if they really wanted to break up, it would have happened three hundred strips ago and we all goddamn know it.

So in closing, my final thoughts:
This is all happening as part of the story progression.  The characters are being true to what we know about them, even in going so far as to say that we know they can be inconsistent.  The characters do not have to do the "sensible" or the "right" thing.  And they are allowed to fuck things up for themselves.  But, ultimately, things are going to change, because if they don't the story will go nowhere at all.  How they will change, how dramatic it will be, and who - if anyone - is right... that, we're going to find out.

AND NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU POST ARGUING THAT YOU WOULD WRITE THE STORY DIFFERENTLY, IT WILL NOT CHANGE HOW THE STORY IS WRITTEN.  So calm the jolly fuck down, have a little faith that Jeph is actually a competent storywriter, and let the man take us along for the ride.  I, for one, am enjoying it.

*swings The Useless Broom Made Entirely Out Of Dicks around his head and gives a battle cry*

*plunges into the fray*

I... I love you.

[Odal]

New prediction:  Marten turns around and yells at Faye, "F*ck your alcoholic addiction and your emergency bourbon!"  then pulls out a gat and goes all blap blap at her.  He's enraged and is not well versed in the gansta sideways shooting so he misses every shot.  Faye will panic and run behind the counter but she'll trip and fall and bust her head open.  Marten will chase quickly, to pop a cap in her, but when he sees she's already injured he immediately comes to his senses.  He jaw hangs open for a second and the gun falls out of his hand.

He'll call an ambulance and she'll be rushed to the hospital and she'll get taken care of and get stitches in her head.  After she wakes up, she'll ask Marten what happened.  He'll say that she tripped and that he tried to stop her fall but he wasn't quick enough.  While still being drowsy, she'll start to sweet-talk Marten.  Marten will enjoy the moment, knowing what would come next, and having been waiting for it for so long.

Faye will confess about how much she's wanted him for so long.  About how she's played with herself at night thinking of him.  About how she imagined Marten being the man making love to her when it was really Sven.  About how she wished Angus was really Marten in desguise.  And of course Marten will give her a hug and tell her that he really was Angus in disguise.  Of course, this is when Marten and Faye start making out in the hospital bed.  With one thing leading to another, they do the deed, but only in the missionary position because Faye is still in pain and to move positions hurts her head.  That and Marten is a vanilla kind of guy anyway.

As for their distant future, it was only a matter of time before she saw his gat and has flashbacks of what really happened that made her bust her head open.  Which will be more drama for another day.

My prediction about Dora remains, so just a short recap on that:  Dora and Sven talk, and both of them in a depressed state revert to their old ways.  They hook up, she gets pregnant and Sven leaves Dora behind the night after the hookup because he can't live up to the fact that he just had sex with his sister.

[Deadlywonky]

Your mental image of Marten using a semi auto gangster style just made me spray tea all over my monitor! that has got to be one of the most hilarious/unlikley things that could possibly happen.

The development I am most looking forward to is Sven's reaction (and how Dora spins it) I think Faye going for the Midnight Hobo is for herself rather than Marten, he's going to go to Sven's and get into another argument with Dora. However I reckon that Sven will take Marten's side, he knows about Dora's past relationship issues, he might not know about her issues surrounding his apparent crusing through life. Any which way this happens there will be character development, I can't wait.

[Dr. ROFLPWN]

I don't think anyone hates Hanners though.  We all love Hanners!

Man, FUCK Hanners. Who does she think she is, being all quirky and from
SPACE and adorable.

(...oh God, it kind of hurt my soul to even do that sarcastically. I can't hate Hannelore, either.)

Speaking of turkeys, I wonder if one of the Lust Tukeys will have a thing for Marigold (they seem to put their carnal designs on the most eccentric people in the strip)

TERGON! AKRONNICK! If you would have this fool's UBMEOD...it is yours!

Join with us, good Doctor, and may your Dickbroom flail in the face of many an ignorant Fan-Troll.  Ride 'til only the open plains lie before you!


Also, good to see some saner opinions reading through this thread, especially in the last few pages.  Maybe if we actually gave Jeph a little more credit instead of screaming in hate every time he does something new, he'd be more cheerful about visiting these threads.    It's a pleasure to see some folks do agree.  The Order of the Dickbroom smiles upon you all.

You do me too much honor, sir. Though our brooms be stilled now, I shall stand vigilant with you...for we know they will return.

[snubnose]

Man, FUCK Hanners. [...]

Um ?

[sidpatt]

Long time listener first time blah blah blah. This post isn't going to be some great WoT that other new posters have had. (edit: okay maybe it is.)

I find it interesting that, like others have mentioned, we're projecting all over these people, and one of the major projections has come out in the form of hooking together everyone in the comic who may be remotely single or unattached or whatever. Maybe this is just me but... seriously? Do people sit around in social circles and do this? When some friends break up, are people just sitting around waiting to connect the dots to some other large web of spit?

Now now, I know the implication here is that these fictional characters are our friends, which isn't so healthy in and of itself, but the vast majority of the non-UBMEOD discussion rolling around prior to this last page or so isn't entirely healthy anyway. Point being, I think it's almost insulting to these characters to assume that (a) what's done is done and there's no reconciliation to be had (I have a sort of different guess on how the whole "reconciliation at Sven's" thing works out, essentially Dora coming to a realization of how awful she's being and at least temporarily breaking it off regardless of Marten's best attempts) and (b) they can only exist in some pairings.

Marigold is an awesome character. So is Hanners. So is Tai. So is Sven. All four are strong individual personas on their own who can make me laugh or think, and they don't need another warm body to complete them (though some will use one from time to time to do so). So maybe they might end up with someone else in the near future (I mean, it's certainly possible), but I don't think they need such a thing to make them complete, and I don't think that pairing them off arbitrarily (or even based on what makes the most sense) is remotely fair to any of them.

So, in other words, if this is the end, let it be. Breakups (usually) leave one hell of a wake that needs to be processed, and if this comic is headed in that direction, it could be well into the new year before even the outlying characters are fully resolved over all the issues that would be caused by it. Sure, maybe Dora and Tai hook up, or some other such thing, but I highly doubt we have another situation where Dora is simply waiting for the other shoe to drop to pick up Marten (Tai said point blank otherwise not twenty comics ago, more of the setup for this to happen). That was a pretty iffy plotline back in the day, and I think Jeph's writing has gotten better to the point where he can adequately deal with the complicated nuclear fallout of this relationship, should he choose to go that way, without a Yelling Bird EVERYONE FUCKS quick out.

tl;dr -- Sit back and enjoy the ride. If "enjoy" is the appropriate term for what we have in store.

[akronnick]

TERGON! AKRONNICK! If you would have this fool's UBMEOD...it is yours!


Join with us, good Doctor, and may your Dickbroom flail in the face of many an ignorant Fan-Troll.  Ride 'til only the open plains lie before you!


Also, good to see some saner opinions reading through this thread, especially in the last few pages.  Maybe if we actually gave Jeph a little more credit instead of screaming in hate every time he does something new, he'd be more cheerful about visiting these threads.    It's a pleasure to see some folks do agree.  The Order of the Dickbroom smiles upon you all.

You do me too much honor, sir. Though our brooms be stilled now, I shall stand vigilant with you...for we know they will return.

Welcome, good sir to our noble brigade!

Keep your dick-broom in good repair, and your turkey mount ever well-fed and properly groomed.
For I am sure, though none shall know the day nor the hour, that when the call goes forth, the internet shall never see a more useless gesture than the charge of the 1st Dick-Broom Turkey Cavalry Brigade!

[Dr. ROFLPWN]

Man, FUCK Hanners. [...]

Um ?

I was kidding! I promise! She is far too lovely a person to hate, even a fictional one. Also, I would be in danger of lasers.

[bhtooefr]

There actually has been Hanners hate on here in the past...

[Odin]

The morons that fail to realize that what Dora did in Monday's comic was a complete deal-breaker are killing me here (also Jeph giving people even the slightest hope for a continued relationship between Marten and Dora at this point).

[Dr. ROFLPWN]

There actually has been Hanners hate on here in the past...

...That's awful. Was it real, honest to God character hate, or just the kind of flak Marigold gets for taking up time...?

[Dr. ROFLPWN]

The morons that fail to realize that what Dora did in Monday's comic was a complete deal-breaker are killing me here (also Jeph giving people even the slightest hope for a continued relationship between Marten and Dora at this point).

Oh hey sup Odin

You missed that train by several hours

Also, I could give an anecdotal response about how in my experience you fight for relationships you care about and "dealbreaker" is a silly fuckin' meme, but I don't feel like gettin' trolled

Also, dickbroom

[MarkCorrigan]

Yeahhhh, you do realise that the interpretation of "The prince" as satire is a really recent invention? Considering that there had already been a book published in England, refuting Mach's points before "The prince" had even been translated, you sort of understand why people might not see it as satire.

Nope. It's still a satire. Have you read any of his other works? Any at all? They're all completely different. He espouses the ideas of free republics and HATES the very concept of ruling families. The De Medici family broke his fingers repeatedly when he wouldn't write for them, so he specifically set out to write a book which, while the tactics would have been effective, made anyone who followed them into a complete monster. Something he already thought they were.


ANYWAY. I suspect this will end up in a big fight between Marten and Sven when Marten goes to see Dora, Sven will have a talk with Dora who will realise how nuts she's been recently and will work on her problems, becoming the genuinely nice, decent person she seems to be for most of the time, Faye will get slaughtered, possibly with Marten but nothing will happen between them.

[Odin]

The morons that fail to realize that what Dora did in Monday's comic was a complete deal-breaker are killing me here (also Jeph giving people even the slightest hope for a continued relationship between Marten and Dora at this point).

Oh hey sup Odin

You missed that train by several hours

Also, I could give an anecdotal response about how in my experience you fight for relationships you care about and "dealbreaker" is a silly fuckin' meme, but I don't feel like gettin' trolled

Also, dickbroom

Missed the train, nothing, I'm the fuckin' conductor and have been screaming "ALL ABOARD!" for months.

Dora has proven time and again that she has no real respect for Marten and when he finally displays a bit of spine growth about it she basically says "Fuck you, I'm out of here!" and storms off. The relationship is already over, all that is left is the series of events where both of them realize this fact.

[graymouser]

So yeah, the drama llama got to the point where I pretty much had to register for the forums.  So, hi.

I've been bugged by Dora's "vindictive prick" line since comic 1797 went up, because seriously Marten didn't deserve it.  Given that he is so damn bitter about things, I think the relationship's over or nearly so.  I think it's about time, they seriously don't seem to have developed a healthy relationship dynamic and Dora does not seem to want to.  The only way out of this would be couples therapy, which I don't see happening.

Given the way the comic's been going, neatly pairing off everybody it can in the growing social circle, the natural monkey wrench to get thrown in the works would be for Marten and Faye to either make out or go a bit further than that, and Dora finds out, and shit hits the fan.  I couldn't see that leading to a stable Marten/Faye relationship by any means this would simply be a mistake that creates permanent divisions in their group of friends.  I do think that the comic's basic arc eventually leads to a stable Marten/Faye pairing but there is a long and angsty road before we could possibly get there.  The first 500 comics lived on the unresolved sexual tension between Faye and Marten, and while The Talk calmed things down long enough in that area to establish the Marten/Dora relationship, honestly it's surprising that the pairing's made it this long.

Anyway, the likelihood that this leads to a sexy pair-off fest is...er, low.  In the short run you'd have a Marten/Faye hookup that doesn't lead to a relationship on their part but ends up with Faye out of Coffee of Doom, Dora out of the apartment, Faye/Angus cooling off, and some serious long-term challenges for the characters. 

Oh, and

[Dr. ROFLPWN]

The morons that fail to realize that what Dora did in Monday's comic was a complete deal-breaker are killing me here (also Jeph giving people even the slightest hope for a continued relationship between Marten and Dora at this point).

Oh hey sup Odin

You missed that train by several hours

Also, I could give an anecdotal response about how in my experience you fight for relationships you care about and "dealbreaker" is a silly fuckin' meme, but I don't feel like gettin' trolled

Also, dickbroom

Missed the train, nothing, I'm the fuckin' conductor and have been screaming "ALL ABOARD!" for months.

Dora has proven time and again that she has no real respect for Marten and when he finally displays a bit of spine growth about it she basically says "Fuck you, I'm out of here!" and storms off. The relationship is already over, all that is left is the series of events where both of them realize this fact.

Actually, ChibiSoma stole your conductor position, and added to it the gross flavor of Faye/Marten shipping and needlessly calling Dora a bitch over and over.

I do think it's time for Marten to tell her that if they are gonna be together, no more dithering, no more promises to change, she has to get some serious self-reflection and self-collection going on.

As Christopher Titus would have it, Death ain't gonna give you a rebate for sticking with someone who hurts you. And I think Dora and Marten are good for each other, but Dora was so destroyed by the opposite sex early on that she has a regimen of defense mechanisms and bullshit she keeps projecting at him. She needs to take care of her damage.

[bonzombiekitty]

Given that Marten says that he's bitter about always being the one to apologize even though he didn't do anything, I think what will end up happening is that we'll see a reversal of roles.  After a talk with Sven, Dora will have to do all the apologizing and not allow Marten to try and apologize for anything because she's really, finally seeing that it's her that has been the source of the arguments, not Marten.

[Odin]

The morons that fail to realize that what Dora did in Monday's comic was a complete deal-breaker are killing me here (also Jeph giving people even the slightest hope for a continued relationship between Marten and Dora at this point).

Oh hey sup Odin

You missed that train by several hours

Also, I could give an anecdotal response about how in my experience you fight for relationships you care about and "dealbreaker" is a silly fuckin' meme, but I don't feel like gettin' trolled

Also, dickbroom

Missed the train, nothing, I'm the fuckin' conductor and have been screaming "ALL ABOARD!" for months.

Dora has proven time and again that she has no real respect for Marten and when he finally displays a bit of spine growth about it she basically says "Fuck you, I'm out of here!" and storms off. The relationship is already over, all that is left is the series of events where both of them realize this fact.

Actually, ChibiSoma stole your conductor position, and added to it the gross flavor of Faye/Marten shipping and needlessly calling Dora a bitch over and over.

I do think it's time for Marten to tell her that if they are gonna be together, no more dithering, no more promises to change, she has to get some serious self-reflection and self-collection going on.

As Christopher Titus would have it, Death ain't gonna give you a rebate for sticking with someone who hurts you. And I think Dora and Marten are good for each other, but Dora was so destroyed by the opposite sex early on that she has a regimen of defense mechanisms and bullshit she keeps projecting at him. She needs to take care of her damage.

I'm going to be tossing that mother fucker in the furnace first chance I get!

[DoubleJ]

Thing is, she more than likely didn't know where his porn collection was stored. (Guessing because she had never seen it. You don't put it someplace obvious like My Documents/My Pictures...)

Shit...

[Random Wanderer]

At this rate this thread will be more like 20 pages by Thursday, rather than Friday.

No, I've got nothing else to say. You all seem to have the rest of the discussion well covered.

[bhtooefr]

There actually has been Hanners hate on here in the past...

...That's awful. Was it real, honest to God character hate, or just the kind of flak Marigold gets for taking up time...?

ISTR people complaining that she was annoying, immature, and unrealistic - plus the taking up time flak that Marigold gets. (Of course, that's countered by the Hanten, Hantai, Hannigold, and Han(insert half the damn screen names of the forum a year or so ago here) shippers. Both camps are freaking insane.)

Anyway, Marten is pissed, but it's obvious that he's not going to dump Dora. OTOH, if he goes after Dora now, she just might make it final. (Interestingly, in that case, it'll happen in front of Sven, and the fallout from that will be interesting.)

[314]

You're all wrong! Thursday: Cliffhanger. Friday: Pintsize and Wilson play with a fire extinguisher in Hannelore's apartment.

[xerada]

Oh poor Marten, that's really not a good place you're in.
But see how he already sees a pattern? This wasn't the first fight that went this way, and I dare say we missed some of the fights in between; I think Faye's reaction also indicates this. Maybe Marten's relationship is doomed, maybe not. I would have my difficulties not staying angry after such a breach of trust (but, tbh, to access my private files, you'd have to break the encryption of my hard disks. And, since I don't give my passwords to anyone, you'd have to install a physical keylogger or hack my computer, so you'd have to put considerable effort into it, not just booting from a LiveCD). That he goes after her is not necessarily a sign of weakness. If he tells her how he feels about having to do this, and how bitter it makes him, she may come out of her self-centered bubble, and they can talk about this. But Marten is also known for trying to reconcile a relationship that has long been destroyed and over (his girlfriend with milk in her face).

About her bubble: I don't think she's doing this on purpose. As I have mentioned before, she is under a lot of stress that may be affecting her relationship. It is possible that she didn't have the nerve to think about it, and feels that Marten puts more strain on her one way or the other (for example by making the Porn Argument a bigger issue than she feels it should be).

Sven: Well she going to Sven may be a good idea. He's her big brother, he loves her and will protect her from harm, but as her brother, he is also very honest with her. I don't think he'll try to protect her from Marten, and I think he will talk some sense into her.

[akronnick]

hopefully he'll be able to protect her from herself.

[AnAverageWriter]

hopefully he'll be able to protect her from herself.

I don't think anyone can do that.

Which is a bit of a scary thought- if she really does have all these emotional issues going on and just decides, "Hey, it'll never get any better, why not just..."

Well.

I had a friend who did that. It was... terrible.

[Y]

Prediction for one of the next comics: Faye and Martin drinks bourbon, Faye kisses Martin, Dora or Angus comes in.

Other than that Dora might notice Marten became drunk because of her and realize her mistakes and takes him back.

[Visible_One]

Next time I joke about this, I'm saying 941 pages, just to see what happens.

Honestly, how can anyone expect their post to be read by more than 2 people before it's "sage'd" 2 pages away. .. or are people ACTUALLY reading every single one of these hundreds and hundreds of posts?

I just wanted to take this opportunity to say...
... Yes.

[AnAverageWriter]

My prediction for the next set of strips-

Marten chases after Dora, out of the COD. Bottle in hand, Faye follows him.

Gasping for breath, she loses sight of him about halfway to Sven's place. As she slows to a walk, she smells smoke, an acrid, plastic smell. She turns the corner, and almost bumps into Marten. Sven's place is engulfed in a thick, black smoke.

Standing in front is Dora, Yelling Bird on her shoulder and a can of gasoline in her hand. Her eyes are a deep, eldritch-black. "He told me I was wrong," she muttered. "And as for you..." She raises the can of gasoline and lights a match.

Faye screams and leaps in front of the ball of flaming gasoline that some otherworldly force has launched at Martin. He stares in horror as her flesh sears away, her charred form writhing on the grass out front.

Dora grimaces. "It was... meant for you..." She once again raises the can...

The scene flashes to black, then fades back in...

Marten bolts awake. He is... back at his place. Back in his bed. Was this all a dream? Nearby there is a shower running. He slowly slips out of the bed and walks over to the shower... out of which steps...

Patrick Duffy!

[GeoffTheLlama]

I gotta say, and I know I'm the new guy here, I'm a little flummoxed that so many of you think that heartbroken!Marten is immediately going to hook up with somewhattipsyfromemergencybourbon!Faye.  Every serious fight I've had that led to a break-up (and this is assuming that Marten doesn't manage to smooth things over with Dora tonight) tends to lead to moping, not to hard-ons.  It might just be me, but if he really loved Dora - and based on the amount of crap he's put up with for her thus far, I'm pretty damned sure he does - he's not suddenly going to rush into the arms of another woman, no matter who she is.

On top of that, Marten and Dora are Faye's best friends who have put up with her shit for God knows how long, and she can get to be far worse than Dora in terms of the way she treats people.  Do you honestly think she's going to turn around and backstab one to hook up with the other when he's rebounding anyway?  Do you really think she's the sort of person who'd wind up completely disregarding Angus's existence to get it on with Marten when it took forever for her to just be okay with having a relationship with someone at all? Angus is a huge breakthrough for her - just because we haven't seen much Faye/Angus interaction doesn't make him less important.  Faye might be a bitch, but I've yet to see her as the type to just toss aside people that genuinely mean something to her, and I certainly don't see her as the type to mega-betray her friends this way.  You can bring up the Sven thing, but that was significantly different.  Dora might have taken that as a betrayal, but Sven's her brother, not her lover (or so we'd all better hope...).  

Could this set the stage for a Faye/Marten relationship further down the line?  Sure, I guess I could see that - if it was MUCH further down the line.  All I'm saying is it ain't gonna happen tomorrow, and if for some reason it did, it would not and could not be a positive thing for anyone involved.  If you're hoping for it to happen during this arc, then I hope you're looking for a trainwreck, because that's what you'll be getting.

[hbrad1977]

New, etc..

I'm a Marten/Dora fan and have been since the pretty much the beginning but (and it saddens me to say so) their relationship is pretty unhealthy as is. Some things are definitely going to have to change and I think it may be best for them to separate for a while then they can decide if their relationship is worth saving or not. Of course, that's logical and human beings are not logical so who really knows (besides Jeph) what's gonna happen.

I just hope to God this isn't all leading up to a Marten/Faye relationship because that ship has sailed and good riddance--they are better off, way better off, as friends.

Marten/Hanners maybe? Or Marten/Hand for that matter.

We shall see...

[Border Reiver]

12 pages total, 7 pages for comic #1797 alone, & 200+ poll voters...


"Cap'n!  The forums!  She cannae take much more!"

"I know, Scotty!  Reroute server power from to the deflector dish to emit a blushing Hanners-pulse to give us a buffer between-"

"Kep'tin!  Yelling Bird decloaking off the port bow!  He is firing a salvo of Guest Strips!"

"Brace for imp-"

*EXPLOSION*



Elsewhere...

"Ben...?  What's wrong?"

"I felt a great disturbance in The Force...  As if millions of fanfics and shippers suddenly cried out in agony and were suddenly silenced...  I fear something terrible has happened."

 

Came in 3 pages later after another blissful night away - Caprica was playing and the SO and I don't miss it.

Been in Marten's position - down so far that you're looking up at the snake's belly, thinking that everyone would say, "You're justified, walk away." and knowing that the right thing to do is to man up, and sort it out.  Based on his comments, Marten knows this and will be going to sort it out - because he does love her and needs to do it

And in Marten's mood, I would hope that he remembers that bourbon is NOT your friend.  In the morning you still have the problem, AND a hangover.