Comic Discussion > QUESTIONABLE CONTENT
Foreshadowing of The Breakup
someone1074:
--- Quote from: JackFaerie on 22 Nov 2010, 08:00 ---How does that even make sense? Why would him trying to "stand up for himself" by refusing to break up be a good thing? Their relationship was far worse for him than it was for her. He should have broken up with her earlier in fact--but it seems he was totally unable to do it even when faced with absolute deal-breakers for any other person. It's not "rolling over" to accept that it's over when it wasn't good for you anyway. Complaining that Marten's "weak-willed" in that he just silently accepted the breakup is a bit like complaining that an abuse victim "just accepted it" when her abuser said "oh crap I realized I've been abusing you all this time and I don't want to be that person but I can't help myself, so I'm leaving you now." How would it have shown strength of character (or in fact, anything other than spinelessness and stupidity) for Marten to have been all "No Dora, I love youuu let's stay in this totally unworkable relationship that hasn't been satisfying me for months on the off chance that with enough therapy and over lots and lots of time, your problems will disappear and we'll be able to ignore our other incompatibilities"?
--- End quote ---
You're blind if you can't see that Marten didn't want the relationship to end. Look at his face these last two comics. He's COMPLETELY unhappy right now. Why? Because he did love her. And he wanted to make it work. Dora decided she knew better than the two of them and made the decision for him. One he clearly did not approve of. He wanted to help her through it and she said no.
Your abuser example is the one that makes no sense. Marten isn't remotely relieved that she broke up with him. An abuse victim would be.
benji:
So how's that supposed to look?
"It's over"
"No, it's not over until I say it's over."
Yeah, that's a healthy pattern.
--- Quote from: someone1074 on 22 Nov 2010, 09:46 ---
Your abuser example is the one that makes no sense. Marten isn't remotely relieved that she broke up with him. An abuse victim would be.
--- End quote ---
Clearly you haven't had much experience with the victims of domestic abuse. They are often heartbroken by the failure of the relationship and have a lot of trouble getting to the point where they accept that being out is better for them.
Wiregeek:
--- Quote from: benji on 22 Nov 2010, 09:48 ---So how's that supposed to look?
"It's over"
"No, it's not over until I say it's over."
Yeah, that's a healthy pattern.
--- End quote ---
Bingo.
Noone has the right to force someone to remain in a relationship. Period. Full Stop.
someone1074:
There's a difference between trying to help her through it (since Dora acknowledged that she didn't want the relationship to end either, but that she feels she would ruin it) and saying "No, I'm not letting you."
Huge difference. Nice job ignoring that.
Also
--- Quote from: benji on 22 Nov 2010, 09:48 ---Clearly you haven't had much experience with the victims of domestic abuse. They are often heartbroken by the failure of the relationship and have a lot of trouble getting to the point where they accept that being out is better for them.
--- End quote ---
I actually have a lot of experience working directly with abuse victims during college. The reason they don't leave is because they fear they can't, not because they're happy with it. You're confusing it with the comparatively rare occurrence where the abuse victim identifies the abuse with love or happiness. That's not the norm, but it does happen.
benji:
Oh, so not so much stalking her as becoming completely codependent.
"If I just stay a little longer, I know I can fix her. That's what someone needs in a partner, someone to fix them, right?"
I got ya.
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