Comic Discussion > QUESTIONABLE CONTENT
Dora/ Martin.
reboundstudent:
All right, quite a lot of posters are laminating their own relationship problems onto Marten/Dora in a previous thread, so I’ll go ahead and throw my hat into the ring, because I’ve been (and somewhat am) where Dora is, and a lot of people who are dumping on Dora seem incapable of wrapping their heads around her situation.
First, most posts I’m seeing here are ripping into Dora for not “dealing with her issues.” As I said in an earlier post of mine, therapy is expensive. And dealing with the kind of issues Dora has OUTSIDE of therapy is damn near impossible, even when you have a pretty good grasp of what they are. Some people have suggested “she should talk to her friends!! Communicate with Marten and Faye!” In the end, that just doesn’t work. Friends are NOT therapists… they don’t know how to reach you. They don’t know how to set their own stuff aside, and help Dora first and foremost. They get emotionally exhausted and drained.
My therapist likes to say that she works for ME. She is simultaneously looking out for my best interests while being completely on my side. That is an incredibly difficult balance for friends, especially when THEY are a factor in what’s causing your issues. Marten and Faye may be acting in a way that is purely platonic from THEIR perspective, but from Dora’s perspective (which is colored by Distrustful Sunglasses), the behavior is suspicious, or unsettling. She can’t go to Faye or Marten for that… because they’re INSIDE the situation; because THEY know their own thoughts and feelings, they can’t see how their behavior might be contributing. With a therapist, Dora might be able to better articulate how to talk to them about the behavior while still honoring their perspective.
But again… therapy is EXPENSIVE. Therapy is DIFFICULT. Working on issues takes years, and that’s with a good therapist. Dora has mountains to climb. Frankly, if she has as severe trust issues as these comics seem to portray, she’s done an amazing job dealing with them as long as she has. When I’m not in therapy, I can’t go two months without exploding into a mountain of crazy.
So I kind of wish all the people chiming in that DORA ISN’T WORKING ON HER ISSUES could articulate WHAT exactly that would look like to them. Just the fact that she can communicate them to Marten is an improvement.
eyosgkxb:
--- Quote from: reboundstudent on 19 Nov 2010, 15:57 ---All right, quite a lot of posters are laminating their own relationship problems onto Marten/Dora in a previous thread, so I’ll go ahead and throw my hat into the ring, because I’ve been (and somewhat am) where Dora is, and a lot of people who are dumping on Dora seem incapable of wrapping their heads around her situation.
First, most posts I’m seeing here are ripping into Dora for not “dealing with her issues.” As I said in an earlier post of mine, therapy is expensive. And dealing with the kind of issues Dora has OUTSIDE of therapy is damn near impossible, even when you have a pretty good grasp of what they are. Some people have suggested “she should talk to her friends!! Communicate with Marten and Faye!” In the end, that just doesn’t work. Friends are NOT therapists… they don’t know how to reach you. They don’t know how to set their own stuff aside, and help Dora first and foremost. They get emotionally exhausted and drained.
My therapist likes to say that she works for ME. She is simultaneously looking out for my best interests while being completely on my side. That is an incredibly difficult balance for friends, especially when THEY are a factor in what’s causing your issues. Marten and Faye may be acting in a way that is purely platonic from THEIR perspective, but from Dora’s perspective (which is colored by Distrustful Sunglasses), the behavior is suspicious, or unsettling. She can’t go to Faye or Marten for that… because they’re INSIDE the situation; because THEY know their own thoughts and feelings, they can’t see how their behavior might be contributing. With a therapist, Dora might be able to better articulate how to talk to them about the behavior while still honoring their perspective.
But again… therapy is EXPENSIVE. Therapy is DIFFICULT. Working on issues takes years, and that’s with a good therapist. Dora has mountains to climb. Frankly, if she has as severe trust issues as these comics seem to portray, she’s done an amazing job dealing with them as long as she has. When I’m not in therapy, I can’t go two months without exploding into a mountain of crazy.
So I kind of wish all the people chiming in that DORA ISN’T WORKING ON HER ISSUES could articulate WHAT exactly that would look like to them. Just the fact that she can communicate them to Marten is an improvement.
--- End quote ---
Maybe she could break up with Marten and work on herself for awhile, you know come out a new person without dragging him through the mud. She knows shes dragging him through the mud, so it was generally be for the best.
o wai..
ElvisRevenge:
--- Quote from: Is it cold in here? on 19 Nov 2010, 02:15 ---Ever wished you could forget QC, just so you could have the fun of "discovering" it again?
--- End quote ---
--- Quote from: bpghayward on 19 Nov 2010, 03:47 ---I don't know how Jeph did it, but that relationship has always felt "temporary" somehow.
--- End quote ---
I feel the sentiments of both these posts.
There hasn't been another comic that gave me such satisfaction reading it all the way through like this comic has. (Well, maybe Darwin Carmichael Is Going To Hell, but that had a LOT less strips under it's belt when I started reading.)
And with the second thought, I'm the sort of man who doesn't see "off-limits" or "permanent" until HE PUTTA RING AND IF HE LIKED IT THEN HE SHOULDA PUTTA RING ON IT. And idk, they just never seemed hyper-close or like best friends, which the best relationships are based on (best friendship, imo).
Econoclast:
Pfft. Therapy? Dora just needs to grow the fuck up.
I like that Marten finally grew a pair, though. He'll need that if he ever wants to get laid again.
Carl-E:
How charming!
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