At work we have started playing Christmas music. Specifically, we play Andrea Bocelli's My Christmas on a loop. I heard the song "Santa Claus Is Comin' To Town" eight times this evening. Repeated listens led me to pick out a contradiction of sorts in the lyrics. When Mr. Bocelli sings, "He knows if you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness' sake" I don't think he realises that if he is being good to appease a jolly old elf he is not, in fact, being good for the sake of being good. He is being good because he fears Santa's oppressive vision. He sees you when you're sleeping and knows when you're awake, after all. He is omnipresent and unmerciful. In Santa's panopticon your every action is determined by the fascistic bureaucracy of two lists checked twice. Old St. Nick is elevated to the level of a vengeful god; his arrival is a harbinger of judgment. The ring of sleigh bells signifies the Second Coming. The lump of coal in your stocking will fuel the fire that lashes your supple flesh for eternity.
I just put up mistletoe, in other news.