Comic Discussion > QUESTIONABLE CONTENT
WCDT: 13-17 Dec 2010 (1816-20)
TheEvilDog:
--- Quote from: someone1074 on 15 Dec 2010, 06:51 ---
--- Quote from: TheEvilDog on 15 Dec 2010, 06:17 ---He has done it with a smile on his face and offered a shoulder for friends to lean on. And now, when he needs one for himself, he finds nothing.
--- End quote ---
And then you contradict yourself by providing great examples of people trying to help him. What exactly are they supposed to do, suck his dick? They're being there for him in ways that are well within their character. Also, keep in mind that Faye has already made some effort to repair the ruined relationship (be it friendship or more) by getting Dora the help she needs. At this time, Faye's done the most to help Marten.
--- End quote ---
Hanners has never had a romantic relationship because of her anxieties and her OCD. Sven was until recently a womanising cad, who even admitted that he is 28 years old, and has never been in a proper relationship. Since she has been in the comic, Tai has been in at least one polymous relationship, but not a stable, loving relationship as Dora and Marten seemed to be. While they did try to help Marten, none of them really have the experience of what its like to have a relationship that you thought was going crash and burn in a relatively short time. Not to mention that by trying to "help", they're essentially slapping an open wound.
Now consider Dora, the instigator of the break up. First thing in the morning, Faye hugs her, after work, Sven hugs her. Admittedly, when Faye hugged her, there was a threat of violence, but there was still concern. What happened before Faye left for work? Were there any words of comfort for Marten? Any friendly hug? Nope, just Faye threatening to break Dora’s arm.
--- Quote from: TheEvilDog on 15 Dec 2010, 06:17 ---At a time when Marten needed his friends, there is no one around to comfort him. So like I’ve said, yes, Marten is being a dick, but damn it if he doesn’t deserve to act like one.
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--- Quote ---Absolutely not, as mentioned above. Dealing with this better would show strength of character. While his actions are completely understandable and many of us should be able to sympathize with him...it doesn't make him right in this. Lashing out at your closest friends and being self-destructive? Hard to say that it's ever 'right' or 'deserved' IMO.
--- End quote ---
The fact is, humans are animals, and if an animal is wounded, you stay away from it, because it will lash out, even if aid or comfort would help it. Right now, Marten is hurting and he needs space, space that is being constantly invaded by other people. It doesn’t matter if a friend’s heart is in the right place, sometimes a person just wants to be left alone and wallow in their own pain and misery, it’s part of the healing process. It’s like a scab, if you keep picking at it, the wound won’t heal. What Marten’s friends are doing right now is grabbing it and tearing it off. So is Marten supposed to let this continue or should he do something about it? Its not about strength of character, but about being human, and what he is doing right now is all too human.
Marten needs his friends, but he also needs them to understand what he is going through and what they are doing right now isn’t helping, it’s hurting him
--- Quote ---Now if you just meant that his actions are understandable, then I withdraw most of my statements.
--- End quote ---
My points are based on experience. Without going into too much detail, I have been in Marten’s place. I also know that the worse thing to say to someone in that time, especially the day after the break up, is that “they’ll be alright”. They don’t hear that, all a person hears is “It doesn’t matter what you feel, get over it so we don’t have to hear anymore whining.” I’ve done the getting drunk phase, the lashing out at friends phase and the trying to blame someone else phase, so I completely understand Marten’s actions and I’m certain that any relatively normal person would do the exact same if they were in his position
JackFaerie:
--- Quote from: snubnose on 15 Dec 2010, 05:53 ---Puuuh. Good thing I'm apparently not the only one who remembers how awfully hard Faye hits ! Judging from some posts, many people here have completely forgotten about it.
I dont count it as self defense either. Marten is helpless. He would already collapse if she just pushed him a bit.
Instead she starts one of her beatings, which at this point is sadistic.
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As you see, I do remember how hard Faye hits. But she does not "start one of her beatings" here. She punches a man who was in the middle of touching her inappropriately, about to kiss her by force. The fact that he is drunk does not negate the harassment.
As a woman who has had to ward off drunk guys multiple times, who, while drunk:
1) tried to pin me against a wall
2) stuck their hand down the back of my skirt to my underwear
3) grabbed me from behind in a club and pressed me to their erections
4) tried to unhook my bra
I strongly disagree that "there's no self defense with a drunk guy." What are women supposed to do, just let ourselves be groped?
The Dandy Inferno:
--- Quote from: pwhodges on 15 Dec 2010, 07:33 ---
--- Quote from: tbones on 15 Dec 2010, 07:00 ---It MAY be a good a idea to shut the registration off...
--- End quote ---
I see nothing to justify that. In any case, if a problem should arise, it will, if possible, be dealt with individually, not by a blanket slamming of the gates. We want people to come and join in.
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Let's face it, if us newbies start getting all uppity again, some champion wielding the Useless Broom Made Entirely of Dicks will come to beat us all back :wink:
xerada:
--- Quote from: GeoffTheLlama on 15 Dec 2010, 07:28 ---I don't know; I think if I went to grope my best friend after talking to her like a dick while being completely trashed, I'd be disappointed if she DIDN'T give me a shiner as a result. There are so many other examples of Faye beating down people unwarrantedly - I don't think this is one of them.
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Agreed. Ok, Faye resorts to violence far too often, and normally you can't just knock out a guy without harming him seriously (but this is a comic..), so, I'll just interpret it as a hard punch and shoving him away. Which may not be the best reaction, but I'd be crept out too. I'd shove people away, and I'd have difficulties trusting them afterwards.
--- Quote from: JackFaerie on 15 Dec 2010, 07:40 ---I strongly disagree that "there's no self defense with a drunk guy." What are women supposed to do, just let ourselves be groped?
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... you put it way better while I was trying to get my thoughts together (darn), but I want to add that that also applies to harassed guys
Warning - while you were typing A KAZILLION new replies have been posted. You may wish to review your post.
... SO WHAT NOW I'M POSTING ANYWAYS
JackFaerie:
--- Quote from: TheEvilDog on 15 Dec 2010, 06:17 ---Look at it from his perspective, just over 24 hours beforehand he was in a loving, though slightly bumpy,
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No. He had been dissatisfied with Dora for a while but too much of a doormat to say anything.
--- Quote ---relationship with an amazing woman (to him),
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No. He'd been lying awake nights sighing about the fact that he wasn't happy with Dora.
--- Quote ---which made the fact that he had a going-nowhere band and a dead end job that much more bearable, in general made him that happier.
--- End quote ---
Maaaayyyybe. But still: lying awake at nights, sighing. And measuring Dora against Faye.
--- Quote ---Now, what does he have? An ex-girlfriend whose own issues sabotaged the relationship.
--- End quote ---
Not just her issues. Mostly her issues, but she was partly right about them.
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