Comic Discussion > QUESTIONABLE CONTENT
WCDT 14 Mar-18 Mar 2011 (1881-1885)
SJCrew:
*imagines Tai and Dora make out*
*not getting a boner*
Yeah, I'm convinced: don't do it Dora!
Carl-E:
--- Quote from: Odin on 14 Mar 2011, 10:20 ---I'll start working on sourcing my references to previous threads when people start making it clear that they haven't read the discussions up to whatever the current point is and ask for some sort of summary relative to their perception of things. Otherwise, if they aren't going to put forth the effort, they kind of deserve the frustration of not knowing where my posts are coming from (they all work and make perfect sense if you use the correct context of "wait, did we discuss this within the last few days on these very forums? Woah!").
--- End quote ---
OK, time to call you on your bullshit. This is not about references, or other people not following the discussion - this is about you.
--- Quote from: Odin on 14 Mar 2011, 06:29 ---
--- Quote from: TheEvilDog on 14 Mar 2011, 06:13 ---Unwritten man code* - You don't just go and try to ask out a friend's ex-girlfriend. You talk to your friend first, see if they are alright with the idea, and then you go develop butterflies in your stomach.
--- End quote ---
Fuck that bullshit, your friend doesn't own their exes. The only reason to not ask out a friend's ex if you find them attractive and they act like they're interested is if you're not single, yourself.
If your friend can't handle their ex dating someone else, that is their problem, not yours.
--- End quote ---
Your first post on the topic. As others pointed out, you're not being much of a friend, but that's not my point...
--- Quote from: Odin on 14 Mar 2011, 06:46 ---
--- Quote from: TheEvilDog on 14 Mar 2011, 06:36 ---Two - Common courtesy, which apparently isn't that common, just means taking the time to know if someone is alright with the idea of an ex dating. No one owns anybody jackass.
--- End quote ---
Two - I already addressed this, if a friend isn't okay with the idea of an ex dating, that is their problem and not yours (who their ex is dating is irrelevant, it literally never matters in the context of them having a problem with the ex dating someone else).
Three - You need therapy if you genuinely believe you have to get your friend's approval before dating one of their exes. Adults don't have to ask their friend's permission, at any rate, what with not being in middle school anymore. See #2.
--- End quote ---
Second post (excerpted, obviously. The other points were irrelevant to my point). TheEvilDog never said anything about approval or permission. You accuse others of not reading your posts, but really now, who needs to read more carefully? Asking if your friend is "alright with it" is just considerations of another's feelings - are they really over it? Would you be doing something hurtful to a friend? Of course, it's may just be a way to express your concern for your friend, because while asking if they're alright, you're also telling your friend that you're interested in the ex. Unless you're able to do it subtly (look it up, I'm pretty sure it's not a word you're familiar with).
--- Quote from: Odin on 14 Mar 2011, 08:41 ---
--- Quote ---
--- Quote ---Adults don't have to ask their friend's permission,
--- End quote ---
But adults will also consider their friend's feelings.
--- End quote ---
That works both ways: If they're an adult friend, they aren't going to get all pissy because one of their friends is dating one of their exes. This really isn't that difficult to understand, is it?
--- End quote ---
Third post, and we finally get a little insight into what you were actually thinking. Not much, really, but of course it also uses the offensive defense; you were misunderstood, you know you were, yet you try to make the readers be at fault.
--- Quote from: Odin on 14 Mar 2011, 08:50 ---
--- Quote from: pwhodges on 14 Mar 2011, 08:46 ---
--- Quote from: Odin on 14 Mar 2011, 08:41 ---That works both ways
--- End quote ---
Are you seriously saying that you consider it adult behaviour to rely on your friends being adult enough to indulge your pissing on their feelings?
--- End quote ---
Are you intentionally misreading everything that doesn't agree with you?
I'm saying an adult friend is going to move on from past relationships with their exes and it should not ever be a problem for their friends to date one of their exes. If the friend seriously has a problem with their Ex dating one of their friends, they have deeper issues with letting go and all that other nasty stuff that goes along with clingy, creepy people than you can help them with (and as I said earlier, it wouldn't matter if the EX is dating a friend or not, the simple fact that they are bothered by the ex dating anybody is indicative of serious mental problems).
--- End quote ---
Fourth post, and finally, finally, you explain your thoughts. It's full of absolutes (never say... never mind) and assumptions about others that may well not be true. BTW, no one misread anything - we just read what you wrote, curt as it was. You need to try and see it from the point of view of another, we're not in your head (there isn't room for all of us ...)
I don't know you, I only see what you write on this board. But from what you've written, it seems you'd have a hard time understanding what it means to be a friend. Do you really treat your friends the way you advocate in here? That's your business, of course, but I can't imagine they appreciate it.
Of course, you probably wouldn't care, either. At least, if your posts are to be believed, that's how it seems.
As another person said, it's pretty damn sad.
Near Lurker:
--- Quote from: SJCrew on 14 Mar 2011, 15:29 ---Even though Dora gives off some pretty strong bisexual vibes, I can't seriously see her hooking up with a chick. Just doesn't seem right.
--- End quote ---
She has in the past, at least once... the DJ, remember?
However, Tai seems like a bad idea on a couple levels. Fortunately, I doubt she'll do it - when she said she didn't go for butch girls, it's possible she was just making fun of Ellen, but her general habit of treating Tai like a puppy seems genuine enough, so I really don't think she's in a state of mind to sexualize her.
Akima:
--- Quote from: Odin on 14 Mar 2011, 06:46 ---Two - I already addressed this, if a friend isn't okay with the idea of an ex dating, that is their problem and not yours (who their ex is dating is irrelevant, it literally never matters in the context of them having a problem with the ex dating anyone someone else).
--- End quote ---
The "Don't date a friend's ex without their permission" thing is part of the (mostly bullshit) "girl code" too. I don't think the issue here is whether the friend has a problem with the ex dating anyone else at all ever. That would indeed be an unhealthy vengeful and controlling attitude. But someone could have legitimate issues with one of their friends dating an ex, especially if the relationship ended badly. Sharing the same social circle is likely to be very uncomfortable at least if you have to keep meeting the person who stole from you, cheated on you, gave you an STD etc. Personal autonomy is all well and good, but it shouldn't lead people into social autism.
Almost the definition of a friend is someone for whom you care enough to sacrifice some personal autonomy. If you care about someone, you at least think twice before doing something that will cause them discomfort or distress. If someone's feeling about a person is "I'm going to do what I want to do, and if they don't like it that's their problem", I'd suggest that their relationship with them is not friendship. Or at least that the word "friend" means something very different to them than to me. After all, any random person on the street is entitled to some consideration from me as part of my duty of a citizen, and surely a friend is entitled to more?
Method of Madness:
How about this for a compromise. If you want to date a friend's ex, you tell your friend your intentions. Not to ask for permission, since that is not theirs to give, but to ask if they are ok with that. If not, then ask why. Not out of any obligation to an outdated "code" or because of any fucked up concept of ownership. If anything, it's done so your friend can find out from you, rather than finding out from a third party.
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