Comic Discussion > QUESTIONABLE CONTENT
WCDT 14 Mar-18 Mar 2011 (1881-1885)
John_Knee:
--- Quote from: justanotherbrick on 14 Mar 2011, 16:21 ---
Also, no one has brought this up yet, so I guess I'll be the one to stir the pot...Dora sure didn't wait before Faye was done moving on from Marten, did she? I mean, I agree that "the heart wants what it wants", but while we're on the subject of whether it's appropriate to date a friend's ex immediately or not, it seems that there's a precedent in this group of friends. Marten and Faye were practically "exes" after the talk, for all the emotional baggage there was, and Dora waited "TWO FRIGGIN' DAYS?!" (in the words of Faye) before snatching him up. Granted, she felt bad about it, but actions speak louder than words.
That being said, I don't think that Marten would have a right to be upset if Tai and Dora became involved with each other. It's been pretty clear for a while that Tai is interested in Dora ("Basically, my ideal is you, only single").
Also....EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I've always thought that Tai and Dora would make a good couple, far better than Dora and Marten.
--- End quote ---
The difference in terms of the first paragraph is that Martin and Faye never dated and Faye always made it clear that nothing was likely to happen between them. Therefore when Dora and Martin hooked up, it was a slightly different thing. Additionally, on the night it did happen, Martin felt honour bound to wake Faye up to tell her as it was felt she had a right to know. Plus Dora had often asked Faye what was the deal between her and Martin and Faye had often teased Dora about her attraction to Martin.
I think where Martin would have a right to be upset is the fact they basically broke up due to Dora's insecurities despite their attraction towards each other - for Dora to 'move on' within a month could be taken as an insult to him. The insult is based upon the fact she moved on very quickly - more so as they broke up still having feelings and the whole "I love you but I have issues that stop this relationship working" angle. The fact Tai is female may also cause further upset. Although Dora has expressed the fact she is also attracted to women, her moving onto a woman would hit his male ego in another way. Martin might well wonder if their relationship was a lie and that Dora preferred women but saw him as a short term shag. Slightly irrational thinking? Maybe, but Sven (I think it was) revealed that in the past Dora would sleep with people for the attention and the feeling of being loved etc even if the guy was bad for her. As readers of the comic, we know that wouldn't be Dora's motivation, but in a real life situation, that might well hit Martin hard at a time he is probably emotionally less stable.
Saying that, if anything does happen between Dora and Tai, I suspect that Dora and Tai will be chatting where there is booze, Dora will reveal she is lonely and Rai will make a move. Partly as a result of alcohol and feeling sorry for herself, I'd expect Dora to respond but stop before any clothes are removed. And I expect Dora to be horrified by it. Tai will take offence or realise making a move was a bad idea and Martin will ask her what is wrong at work......
Odin:
--- Quote from: Carl-E on 14 Mar 2011, 16:44 ---OK, time to call you on your bullshit. This is not about references, or other people not following the discussion - this is about you.
--- End quote ---
--- Quote from: Odin on 14 Mar 2011, 10:20 ---*posting about what you're failing to counter with your argument
(this latest argument being the exception)
*more words about the argument you're trying to say I'm making badly*
--- End quote ---
--- Quote ---Fourth post, and finally, finally, you explain your thoughts. It's full of absolutes (never say... never mind) and assumptions about others that may well not be true. BTW, no one misread anything - we just read what you wrote, curt as it was. You need to try and see it from the point of view of another, we're not in your head (there isn't room for all of us ...)
--- End quote ---
It took four posts for me to spell out something that should be patently obvious to everyone that has ever had any lasting relationships at any point in their life, does that mean I'm terrible at explaining things or that people aren't willing to expend near the critical thinking on this tangent as they are on whether or not Jeph is going to Rule #34 us with Tai and Dora?
--- Quote ---I don't know you, I only see what you write on this board. But from what you've written, it seems you'd have a hard time understanding what it means to be a friend. Do you really treat your friends the way you advocate in here? That's your business, of course, but I can't imagine they appreciate it.
--- End quote ---
I treat my friends the way they've treated me, yes. You act as if this kind of behavior would make us all monsters, but to me, people that act like you and other posters on here seem to believe you should act are the monsters.
We've all been friends since Kindergarten, why would that stop just because more than one of us dates the same girl at any point in our collective life times? It is pretty much a given that this will happen occasionally, nobody that has grown up into a well-adjusted adult has a problem with it and you have to be pretty fucked up in the head to have a problem with one of your friends dating one of your exes (or even anybody else dating one of your exes, you have to accept that they're going to be dating other people after all--what kind of fucked up mind seriously puts those kinds of limitations on their friends regarding relationships that are over?).
Moving on:
--- Quote from: Method of Madness on 14 Mar 2011, 18:11 ---How about this for a compromise. If you want to date a friend's ex, you tell your friend your intentions. Not to ask for permission, since that is not theirs to give, but to ask if they are ok with that. If not, then ask why. Not out of any obligation to an outdated "code" or because of any fucked up concept of ownership. If anything, it's done so your friend can find out from you, rather than finding out from a third party.
--- End quote ---
How about this: If you want to date someone, you date them and anyone that has a problem with who you are dating can just Deal With It. 8-)
--- Quote ---In regards to the break-up: a common rule of thumb I've heard many times is that it takes half the time you were in a relationship to fully "be over it".
--- End quote ---
Do I have to give actual examples for why this rule is stupid, or can people figure this one out on their own?
EDIT: Here is a freebie - Someone that gets divorced after a five year marriage should not have to wait two and a half years before they can start dating again without being scrutinized.
TheEvilDog:
Rather than a long drawn out post that will somehow ramble off on a tangent halfway through, I'm just going to kinda list out the points I agree and disagree with;
Agree
* People do need time to get over a relationship, and that time can't really be dictated by others.
* Talking to a friend, and letting them know that you might be interested in going out with an ex, just to make things clear and get them out into the open, rather than them finding out third hand or by "walking in" as it were.
* There is no such thing as asking permission to go out with someone, no one has any claim to another person. It ties in with the above point, you aren't asking permission from someone, just giving them a heads up
Disagree
* This stuff about waiting half as long as the relationship lasted. Honestly, think about it, and how impractical it would be after a significant period of time, say three years, or four years. Its too impractical to wait 2 years before saying "Well, I'm better, off I go." I do believe that everyone recovers at their own pace, but there is a limit to how long someone can mope around. Quick example, if a relationship lasted 3 years before it broke up, I'd expect to be understanding for either friend for three months, possibly four, but after that, I'm going to try and get them off their ass and do something rather than vegetate. If they persist or insist or wallowing in self pity after that, I will drag them out the back and hose them down, and I'll walk away. I will be there for my friends, I would like to believe I'll be there when they need my help. But as a friend I will not put up with they're whiny crap for 18 bloody months.
mary tyler murder:
--- Quote from: Odin on 14 Mar 2011, 18:24 ---
--- Quote from: Carl-E on 14 Mar 2011, 16:44 ---OK, time to call you on your bullshit. This is not about references, or other people not following the discussion - this is about you.
--- End quote ---
--- Quote from: Odin on 14 Mar 2011, 10:20 ---*posting about what you're failing to counter with your argument
(this latest argument being the exception)
*more words about the argument you're trying to say I'm making badly*
--- End quote ---
--- Quote ---Fourth post, and finally, finally, you explain your thoughts. It's full of absolutes (never say... never mind) and assumptions about others that may well not be true. BTW, no one misread anything - we just read what you wrote, curt as it was. You need to try and see it from the point of view of another, we're not in your head (there isn't room for all of us ...)
--- End quote ---
It took four posts for me to spell out something that should be patently obvious to everyone that has ever had any lasting relationships at any point in their life, does that mean I'm terrible at explaining things or that people aren't willing to expend near the critical thinking on this tangent as they are on whether or not Jeph is going to Rule #34 us with Tai and Dora?
--- Quote ---I don't know you, I only see what you write on this board. But from what you've written, it seems you'd have a hard time understanding what it means to be a friend. Do you really treat your friends the way you advocate in here? That's your business, of course, but I can't imagine they appreciate it.
--- End quote ---
I treat my friends the way they've treated me, yes. You act as if this kind of behavior would make us all monsters, but to me, people that act like you and other posters on here seem to believe you should act are the monsters.
We've all been friends since Kindergarten, why would that stop just because more than one of us dates the same girl at any point in our collective life times? It is pretty much a given that this will happen occasionally, nobody that has grown up into a well-adjusted adult has a problem with it and you have to be pretty fucked up in the head to have a problem with one of your friends dating one of your exes (or even anybody else dating one of your exes, you have to accept that they're going to be dating other people after all--what kind of fucked up mind seriously puts those kinds of limitations on their friends regarding relationships that are over?).
Moving on:
--- Quote from: Method of Madness on 14 Mar 2011, 18:11 ---How about this for a compromise. If you want to date a friend's ex, you tell your friend your intentions. Not to ask for permission, since that is not theirs to give, but to ask if they are ok with that. If not, then ask why. Not out of any obligation to an outdated "code" or because of any fucked up concept of ownership. If anything, it's done so your friend can find out from you, rather than finding out from a third party.
--- End quote ---
How about this: If you want to date someone, you date them and anyone that has a problem with who you are dating can just Deal With It. 8-)
--- Quote ---In regards to the break-up: a common rule of thumb I've heard many times is that it takes half the time you were in a relationship to fully "be over it".
--- End quote ---
Do I have to give actual examples for why this rule is stupid, or can people figure this one out on their own?
EDIT: Here is a freebie - Someone that gets divorced after a five year marriage should not have to wait two and a half years before they can start dating again without being scrutinized.
--- End quote ---
Things well-adjusted people don't do: consider other people's feelings
Things well-adjusted people do: Dump piles of words on the internet calling people fucked up in the head for considering other people's feelings
I mean I just wanna make sure I'm clear how this all works now.
mary tyler murder:
I can't help but feel all of this is leading up to a really long post about Ayn Rand
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