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Teachers Be Crazy

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Patrick:
Oh man I had a teacher who made me hold my wee until I had no choice but to piss myself. Because with my high school's scheduling, classes were 90 minutes long. And we'd just come back from lunch where I'd had plenty of fluids because P.E. was the class preceding! Fuck that guy what a fuckin dick.

Patrick:
Oh and my stepmom is a teacher and is a TOTAL BITCH. I tell people here who my stepmom is and they're like 'OH MY GOD THAT HORRIBLE WOMAN' and I'm like 'Trust me dogg I have worse stories I guaranfuckingtee it that woman is unfit for any kind of relationship with a child.'

Jace:
My middle school teachers were pretty okay!
Apparently my 7th grade history teacher (also my sister's, 4 years before me) had ripped the phone out of the wall because he kept getting calls during his lesson. I think he might have been a historical gamer because he was really good at painting miniatures and what not. He also would walk up and down the rows of desks with a cowbell.
My 7th grade science teacher was/is a storm chaser!

My friend and I got our perma-sub in English in 10th grade to say "what? NO SHIT" in the middle of class.
My 12th grade history teacher was an ex-marine drill sergeant, and he had various ways of waking people up if you fell asleep. My favorites were him lifting the front of the desk (it was a desk/chair connected sort of deal) until the person woke up and freaked the fuck out. Also he would spray compressed air right into your ear, that one was fun!
My 9th grade gym teacher was explaining the plan for the last day of class (take the final exam, then play basketball, yay) and one kid was (again) talking while he was talking. He turned and just shouted in the locker room, "TO-NY PAL-IN-TRO-NY WILL YOU SHUT UP FOR FIVE MINUTES?" Tony was only like 6 feet away from him.
Same teacher once stormed into my 9th grade math class with the head of the athletics department because a kid came to school drunk. He nearly dropped some super loud F-bombs. I was really freaked out because this was all happening right next to me. HE THREW A DESK TOO!

Lines:
My 6th grade science teacher had possibly the best way to wake up students. We had desks that 4 students could sit and and I was in one of the two desks in the front row. The guy next to me had fallen asleep, so my teacher picked up a metal pole he kept behind his desk and very quietly walked up to our desk. (The entire class was quietly giggling.) He looked at the sleeping guy for a few seconds and then threw the pole onto the ground right in front of our desk, scaring the shit out of the guy. It was hilarious.

My 10th grade chemistry teacher and 11th grade physics teacher used to go bowling for students. They didn't like when kids loitered in the halls after school had gotten out. Those of us with after school activities got a kick watching people run away from them.

That same chemistry teacher had been put on probation for chasing a student with a homemade blowtorch. And one year chased a student down the hall with a yard stick for messing with the class cat, Max. (The teacher had found the cat and had been allowed to let it stay in the greenhouse attached to our class. Max was lying in our doorway and some kid kept coming up and poking Max with his foot. We told our teacher, so he hid out of sight and when the kid did it again, Mr. B jumped from behind the door yelling at him and chased him down the hall with the yardstick. It was awesome. (We all loved Max the cat, he was our class mascot.)) Luckily I had him the year before he retired, so Mr. B really did not care about what he did.

Zingoleb:
I had a tutor when I went to live in England, and she would make up stories about history because she had no idea what she was talking about. One involved Carew Castle (whoa! I just looked up a picture of it and I remember it SO WELL!) and apparently the last royal family who lived there owned a monkey and the prince and the monkey got into a gunfight and they shot AT THE SAME TIME and killed each other AT THE SAME TIME.

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