Comic Discussion > QUESTIONABLE CONTENT
Should Dora go out with Jim?
wrwight:
Well that's an iconic example of an awkward situation. I don't think it's a sign of self doubt that Marten feels awkward and unsure in such a situation. The important thing was how he dealt with it, or rather that he actually dealt with it instead of being passive and shying away from the situation.
Tiogyr:
--- Quote from: wrwight on 22 Jun 2011, 06:48 ---Well that's an iconic example of an awkward situation. I don't think it's a sign of self doubt that Marten feels awkward and unsure in such a situation. The important thing was how he dealt with it, or rather that he actually dealt with it instead of being passive and shying away from the situation.
--- End quote ---
While it's true that it's a good thing he didn't panic and run away, the point still stands that someone with a bit more self confidence could have handled that discussion much better (not looking like they were planning an escape route because they were afraid the person they were talking to might react violently, as was common at that point of the comic).
Carl-E:
I don't see how he could have handled it better. He did a great job communicating. If you mean he could have handled it differently, sure, he could've just been (falsely) confident about it.
But is that really "better"? Not for the relationship, not in the long run. People who know you can tell when you're putting on a "brave face", and it probably would've made Dora's insecurities that much worse, prompting worse reactions earlier. Better he be honest, and they work together towards happiness, than he be falsely confident "for her sake", and case a bumpier ride and an earlier crash and burn.
I know, I know, some will say it wold have been better to get it all over with earlier, but then he would just have been another in a long line of failures instead of the "one good thing" that got trashed.
I'm in wait-and-see mode about Jim. Was that last complememt an over-the-top joke, or was he taking Dora seriously? Don't know his personality well enough yet...
annietiger:
As someone who relates to Dora on a very personal level, I think going on a date with Jim could be healthy for her. For someone like Dora, dating while in therapy is one of the best ways to really work through issues -- not only are you talking about them, but you are seeing and working through their manifestations on a weekly basis.
Also, we have no idea what this date really is. It could be something as simple as dinner, and Dora really doesn't seem all that interested. Maybe this is a way for her to see she can be happy on her own & realize she doesn't need a relationship.
Furthermore, I feel like Marten & Dora's relationship troubles are being blamed entirely on Dora. True, she did have a lot to do with it but at the same time when you have a problem you are supposed to speak up and address it head on -- not complain to your friends like Marten did, whereas when Dora felt insecure about something she spoke up. I think Marten could also benefit from therapy, or at least asserting himself more instead of letting people take advantage of him. I think both Marten and Dora are pretty bad at relationships!
Tiogyr:
--- Quote from: Carl-E on 22 Jun 2011, 08:25 ---I don't see how he could have handled it better. He did a great job communicating. If you mean he could have handled it differently, sure, he could've just been (falsely) confident about it.
But is that really "better"? Not for the relationship, not in the long run. People who know you can tell when you're putting on a "brave face", and it probably would've made Dora's insecurities that much worse, prompting worse reactions earlier. Better he be honest, and they work together towards happiness, than he be falsely confident "for her sake", and case a bumpier ride and an earlier crash and burn.
--- End quote ---
I was saying that if he said the exact same words, but was making eye contact with her and not being a jittery mess looking like he was about to bolt if she didn't react well to what he was saying, it would have been a better way of handling it and more indicative of someone with a bit more self-esteem than Marten has.
--- Quote ---I know, I know, some will say it wold have been better to get it all over with earlier, but then he would just have been another in a long line of failures instead of the "one good thing" that got trashed.
I'm in wait-and-see mode about Jim. Was that last complememt an over-the-top joke, or was he taking Dora seriously? Don't know his personality well enough yet...
--- End quote ---
That was definitely Jim joking (and as I pointed out in the WCDT, it's the exact type of joke Marten would have made, so people calling Jim a creep are applying double-standards).
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