Comic Discussion > QUESTIONABLE CONTENT
Should Dora go out with Jim?
pwhodges:
--- Quote from: annietiger on 22 Jun 2011, 08:32 ---when you have a problem you are supposed to speak up and address it head on -- not complain to your friends like Marten did,
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Marten spoke up several times, and each time Dora upped the ante which led him to complain to his friends as well. Hardly surprising, really.
annietiger:
--- Quote from: pwhodges on 22 Jun 2011, 09:11 ---
--- Quote from: annietiger on 22 Jun 2011, 08:32 ---when you have a problem you are supposed to speak up and address it head on -- not complain to your friends like Marten did,
--- End quote ---
Marten spoke up several times, and each time Dora upped the ante which led him to complain to his friends as well. Hardly surprising, really.
--- End quote ---
Yes, but if Marten had such a terrible time with it, shouldn't he have been the one to end it? At what point does Marten step up and say, enough is enough? If Marten was tired of doing the same song-and-dance routine, then he shouldn't have done it. Instead he goes along with whatever is happening. What does he really want? The point I am trying to make is that there were definite flaws on both sides. Neither one of them conducted themselves as mature adults, thus why the relationship was doomed to fail.
pwhodges:
--- Quote from: annietiger on 22 Jun 2011, 09:18 ---If Marten was tired of doing the same song-and-dance routine, then he shouldn't have done it.
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If only life were so simple!
One can so easily be tired of some aspects of a relationship and yet want to preserve it for other reasons; one can want to sort something out, but still be tired of doing it. Perhaps you haven't been there yet; I have.
lepetitfromage:
--- Quote from: Stephen on 10 Jun 2011, 17:30 ---
He's Bizarro Sven. That is creepy. I thought it was unhealthy for Marten to try and see Bizarro Dora but it is creepier for Dora to date Bizarro Sven. Given that the character seems like a bad fanfiction character this just makes it all too disturbing. The night should end with Dora who looked terrified when he asked her out saying goodbye, apologizing for just not being interested even though he's a really great guy (probably) and the two continuing their business partnership amicably. This is the ideal outcome. It won't happen. He's going to let his hostility towards his ex leak into the relationship while the issues she has not yet come close to dealing with poison it from her end. No more than two months have passed since she sabotaged her relationship with uncontrolled jealousy. If you want to call it understandable fine but I find it hard to understand an emotion that pops up unexpectedly and then disappears as though nothing happened and isn't brought up until it pops up again to wreak havoc like a hurricane. The point is she is not ready to even go out on a date with someone. two months is not enough therapy time for her to be at a point where the problems that destroyed her last relationship are not affecting her judgement negatively.
And for all of you who say it wasn't Dora's fault YES it was. She admitted it. She admitted that she knew there was nothing going on between him and Faye, the person who introduced her to Marten, and that her problems weren't just getting better. Ignore it and it will go away is an immature attitude and it does not work.
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Thinking of Jim as Bizzaro Sven is just....eeeugh. I mean....perhaps? But it disturbs me. I don't think they ALL have to have bizarro world counterparts- it just kind of works for Marten to be able to make connections to the few main girls because he needs a replacement for COD (be it temporary or not).
As for his intro being likened to bad fanfic....I personally don't think so. Marten needed another coffee shop (it's a college town so it is chock full of them...as we saw (hah. hello unintentional bad coffee pun.)). There's a 50/50 chance that the owner of said coffee shop is a male. I would agree if he was obviously perfect for Dora, but he's flawed like anyone else. BUT- I don't feel that his "hostility" is as serious as some people might think. He's recently divorced and it seems as though his ex took him for quite a bit. I imagine him going through the typical stages of grieving- he has probably worked his way through certain ones and right now it just so happens that he's dealing with resentment (not to mention that as a small business owner, she probably left him hurting financially).
Was Dora's breakup with Marten her fault? Absolutely. But outside factors made her already delicate state of mind turn completely irrational. Dora isn't completely batty but she is on the spectrum of mental illness. This sentence particularly struck me- I find it hard to understand an emotion that pops up unexpectedly and then disappears as though nothing happened and isn't brought up until it pops up again to wreak havoc like a hurricane
Well, my friend....you are lucky. Us "crazies" as pretty darn good at pushing those feelings to the bottom of the pile, back of the mind (mine like to stay in the pit of my stomach with occasional trips upstairs). But wherever one decides to keep them- that's where they stay hidden from the outside world until some random event triggers our irrationality and we just pop and REALLY look nuts.
--- Quote from: Stephen on 11 Jun 2011, 10:17 ---The harm in a relationship right now is a step back means she's back OUT of therapy, not dealing with her problems and being the same way that she was with Marten.
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I don't think it's harmful for Dora to go on a date. UNLESS she jumps into a relationship and throws away therapy. Just because you're in a committed relationship, doesn't mean you have to stop going to a psychologist (or LCSW or whatever the fancy title of her lady is). Two months of therapy won't magically make her issues disappear but I'm sure that her therapist is helping her scrape the surface a bit. I think this could be good for her if she was open with Jim about taking things slowly and carefully. Not that she should verbal vomit on him....but just give him the heads up that she's a little apprehensive (if a relationship happens). I think if anything, Jim's attitude towards his ex and their divorce might actually help Dora get past some of her jealousy. She'll find comfort in his complete disdain for her. While it's debated whether or not there were feelings between Faye and Marten, Dora knows she was his second choice and they both interacted with Faye practically every day. It's a wonder how she kept the crazy at bay for so long!
PS- to those that ask why Marten should have kept up the song and dance for Dora- they were in a relationship. By that logic- if he was so frustrated with her ways then he could have taken it upon himself to leave. Keep in mind that in her head, Dora may have considered this doing Marten a favor. Maybe it is a kick in the nuts to Marten, but the circumstances that surrounded them were just making their relationship a ticking time bomb.
--- Quote from: annietiger on 22 Jun 2011, 08:32 ---everything you said
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i concur!
lepetitfromage:
by the way, hi i'm new. same old schpeel- long time lurker/obsess-er
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