Comic Discussion > QUESTIONABLE CONTENT
WCDT January 9-13, 2012 (2096-2100)
Is it cold in here?:
--- Quote from: Michael Jackson ---Damned Indecision And Cursed Pride
Kept My Love For Her Locked Deep Inside
And It Cuts Like A Knife
She's Out Of My Life
--- End quote ---
I wonder if Jeph's going to leave this a mystery, as it is to Marten right now? Padma's never been a viewpoint character, so we may never know what was going on with her.
She had no way to know that she was reminding him of Vicki.
DSL:
Forumite judgments aside, I think story wise Marten's in for some judgmentalism from the other characters, with Elliott making the opening statement and Faye providing exhibit 1. We've seen Dora prepping Exhibit 2. None of them will be 100 percent right or wrong -- though Elliott came damn close with his "expect better" moment.
Milesb:
So, Moving on from the straight up Padma/Marten topic slightly here, who else feels Faye's reaction was pretty lame?
I was slightly puzzled by Marten's line about being an asshole until I really thought about how accusatory Faye's "Why in the hell did you do that?!" must have been.
But even his later "aren't you going to disagree-" shows what he's really asking for is help - he wants someone to tell him that his actions were justified, or even just to tell him to explain it all so they know what's going on.
But instead Faye jumps in, agreeing with his self-deprecating (sarcastic?) comment - she's not being thoughtful or trying to understand, she's judged him entirely on Marten's: "Apparently not, she called last night and wanted to see me, but I told her I was busy."
Pretty poor performance for such a close friend, I feel.
truestatic:
--- Quote from: Vista on 13 Jan 2012, 13:58 ---She also wasn't obligated to tell him why she had changed her mind.
5. And he didn't ask.
6. It is his obligation to ask for things he wants.
7. He didn't tell her that he needed time with her or he would move on. He left the ball entirely in her court.
Assuming Padma wasn't playing games--she really doesn't seem the type of person, more likely she was in combined panic/denial--I think her actions are okay, if not great. She could be more forthcoming, which would sustain the friendship or grow the relationship, but she's never promised anything. And why are we assuming she was making a booty call, not an "I just want to hang out on a park bench with you for an hour" call? The latter's been more common for me upon people important to me leaving.
In contrast, Marten blew off Padma when he had nothing better to do--and he didn't--and may never see her again. He acted like an asshole towards someone who should have been a friend first, because he didn't get what he wanted. (I understand that he didn't consider her a friend first, and I find that sad.)
But he was probably just trying to protect himself.
It's just too bad he's the kind of person who needs to. Not that it doesn't put him in the majority.
--- End quote ---
When would he have asked? All the numerous phone calls she picked up? The dates that she kept? What would he have asked? "Hey, you haven't by any chance changed your plans dramatically without finding it convenient to tell me, have you?" There were feelings involved here. Even if this was just a temporary thing, I don't think that mutual respect is too much to hope for, and she doesn't really show much of it when she dramatically changes her plans, as they affect him, arguably because of him, and not tell him until she delivers an ultimatum with a nice serving of emotional blackmail: "see me for the last time now or never again." She doesn't have an obligation, maybe, but she doesn't have the common decency either. Marten blew off Padma because she'd already blew him off for an entire week, and had now moved her plans up like this, and he was angry about it. Did she have a moral obligation to not do those things? Maybe not. But does it show any respect or consideration for Marten? Nope.
--- Quote from: Milesb on 13 Jan 2012, 15:33 ---So, Moving on from the straight up Padma/Marten topic slightly here, who else feels Faye's reaction was pretty lame?
I was slightly puzzled by Marten's line about being an asshole until I really thought about how accusatory Faye's "Why in the hell did you do that?!" must have been.
But even his later "aren't you going to disagree-" shows what he's really asking for is help - he wants someone to tell him that his actions were justified, or even just to tell him to explain it all so they know what's going on.
But instead Faye jumps in, agreeing with his self-deprecating (sarcastic?) comment - she's not being thoughtful or trying to understand, she's judged him entirely on Marten's: "Apparently not, she called last night and wanted to see me, but I told her I was busy."
Pretty poor performance for such a close friend, I feel.
--- End quote ---
Maybe she really liked Padma and hadn't totally taken in to account how Padma had made Marten feel. I don't know. It's hard to understand, I agree.
Stephen:
I admit I haven't read the whole thread but I'd just like to comment on Faye's reaction. The way things have been presented to her she might be misunderstanding the chain of events. We know that the chain went "Marten tries to contact her but doesn't want to be too pushy about it (not going to see her at the bakery), Padma calls him up and tells him that she is leaving the next day (no apology for blowing him off, springing the sudden departure on him, or reason for leaving (i assume that this week her Grandma had a turn for the worse and she just sort of shut down)), then he tells her he is busy like a passive aggressive asshole. The way it has been presented to Faye goes more "Marten tries to contact her but is too passive aggressive about it (I do think going to the bakery at least ONCE during the week was called for at least to see if everything was ok with her like a boyfriend might), Marten told her that he was busy like an asshole, Padma leaves the next day (probably because of his passive aggressive stance that week and feeling hurt when she calls 'finally' and he rudely blows her off). Faye's probably going to calm down when she realizes that Padma has kept him in the dark the entire week which is avoiding him and avoiding the inevitable confrontation of her leaving that week and although still disapproving of what he did and chiding him for it warming up a little. I honestly hope that Padma's character isn't the kind of person who would start sleeping with a guy regularly and not keep him informed about leaving as though he wouldn't be affected on an emotional level. We know that Marten has been hurt. We know that if he had gone to the bakery the next day and been told by Elliot or anyone else that Padma had already left that he would be devastated. I don't think that she was afraid of her feelings so much as she realized that she liked Marten a little too much to just up and leave and completely shatter his heart. It kind of makes what she did worse. I don't like or respect you enough to be honest with you about me leaving this week but hey, why don't I come by and give you a roll in the hay before you drive me to the airport (probably not the actual way she traveled but the offer seems like a laughable exaggeration of how this fictional Padma would act).
Don't absolve either of them and don't put all of the blame on one. Marten should have stopped by the bakery he had frequented prior to their hookup at least once that week but Padma should have called him at least twice before her offer of a last hookup. I think we can all agree on one thing though and this is the important part. Next time Marten see Elliot that high five s going to hurt. A lot. possibly even break his nose.
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