Comic Discussion > QUESTIONABLE CONTENT
WCDT January 9-13, 2012 (2096-2100)
sitnspin:
--- Quote from: Andy147 on 14 Jan 2012, 09:58 ---
--- Quote from: Tova on 13 Jan 2012, 22:16 ---The interesting part was where Marten fished for reassurance from Faye that what he did was OK; I'm glad she did not oblige.
--- End quote ---
Really? So if you know that a close friend is upset about a situation and they say "I've just done something stupid and made matters worse", you think "What the hell did you do that for, you asshole?" is the right response? Rather than, say, at least giving them a sympathetic hug first?
--- End quote ---
The thing is, he didn't say "I've done something stupid and made it worse." He simply told her what he did, he made no statement suggesting he thought it was stupid. When she asked why he did it, he made a snarky passive-aggressive response.
Personally, I appreciate a friend who will call me out when I am being a douche. I have no problem with Faye's reaction. It is probably not the reaction I would have given, but I have a friend who totally would if I were in Marten's position and even if it pissed me off at the moment, I would eventually agree and be thankful I have a friend who is not afraid to tell me the truth.
Milesb:
--- Quote ---
Honestly, sometimes being blunt (different from being an asshole - Faye was stating the truth in a baldfaced manner, not being purposefully insulting to Marten) is the better thing to do as a friend. Not wrapping an opinion in cotton candy and puppy dogs is beneficial in some circumstances, because it doesn't dilute the advice/message that Faye's trying to get across - in this case, "You dun screwed up, boy!". If she were to validate his actions, she'd be less of a friend imo - he's trying to improve himself, and giving him false affirmation isn't going to do him any favors.
Some people need to be smacked in the face with the truth, and honestly, it's better that a friend do it, as they're more likely to sit down with you and discuss -why- what you did was wrong, rather than just point out the error and be on their way.
Sorry for the disjointed rambling.
--- End quote ---
I agree with you in principle but not in any specific in regards to this situation;
- Faye doesn't know the full situation, as Friday's strip is obviously Marten only telling her about the call now. she knows Marten has some emotional investment in Padma (he's in CoD worrying about her, at least) and she knows he's not a playa or an abusive person (at least never deliberately) so tough love seems difficult to justify to me.
- There is definitely a line somewhere between cotton candy/puppy dogs and "you are an asshole." which would be preferable, perhaps a "That seems like a really, really stupid thing to have done, why did you do it?"
- Marten is incredibly defensive during Friday's strip, but look at the last panel, he looks pretty depressed to me - he needs someone to help him understand his feelings and his actions, not to berate him.
- as someone pointed out, only a little while before Christmas we saw Faye confused and asking herself questions she needed help with about her own relationship. Marten walked in and talked it through and handled it well. It seems a poor show that when Marten is in a similar position regarding feeling unsure of his actions and their justifications that Faye reacts so poorly.
(Marten helping Faye out link)
http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=2082,
Omega Entity:
I get what you're saying, but in Faye's case it was a different situation; she was feeling confused and insecure about the depth of her relationship with Angus - she didn't take it out on Angus, and she wasn't being a bitch.
Faye had enough background from the same strip you mentioned (where he's in CoD) to know that Marten obviously cares about Padma and was hoping that she'd return his calls, though was also aware from context that Padma was being non-communicative. The reason -why- wasn't apparent, but the general situation was pretty clear. When she finally did, he went for the petty retaliation.
And to be fair, Marten called himself an asshole first while Faye was simply agreeing with him, rather than falling into the fishing trap that he set for her. And yes, it was most definitely a fishing attempt - I've pulled enough of them in my days to know it when I see it :-P
Milesb:
A fair cop, I guess the only response I'd put forward is that it seems like he's hiding his vulnerability behind it - surely something Faye should recognise in someone else having suffered it for a long time herself.
Omega Entity:
Oh, no doubt he is hiding behind it. However, Faye knows what it's like to be there, and also likely knows that it's counterproductive to encourage the behavior, which by giving Marten the kind of attention/affirmation that he's looking for will likely do.
I don't know about these guys, but there have been times where behaviors I've had only get the desired result for so long. After a while, my friends got sick of it, and pretty much gave me a verbal (and necessary) bitch-slap, much as Faye has done to Marten. And I have to say, it was the best thing they could have done for me.
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