Comic Discussion > QUESTIONABLE CONTENT
WCDT January 9-13, 2012 (2096-2100)
AnAverageWriter:
--- Quote from: Omega Entity on 14 Jan 2012, 13:24 ---I don't know about these guys, but there have been times where behaviors I've had only get the desired result for so long. After a while, my friends got sick of it, and pretty much gave me a verbal (and necessary) bitch-slap, much as Faye has done to Marten.
--- End quote ---
I hope I never encounter any of your friends. Anyone who would consider "You are an asshole" as an appropriate friend response to just about ANYTHING needs some serious mental therapy. Marten may have done something socially uncomfortable or whatnot, but after all this time, after everything in every strip, to suddenly start labelling him is just disgusting.
She didn't say something like "What you did is assholeish". She did not delineate behavior.
She simply called him a name, one that doesn't even come close to accurately describing him. That was neither necessary, nor is it helpful in the slightest.
At all.
Talking about behavior can help a person to recognize their behavior and work through it. Talking about behavior shows friendship.
Calling people names has the opposite effect- in the real world it oftentimes creates defensiveness, causing the labelled person to pull inside themselves. It's also a good way for the "friend" doing the name-calling to end up getting punched in the face.
Omega Entity:
No, I never was called an asshole by my friends. But they were very blunt with me, regarding what they had problems with. And again I reiterate, it's not like Faye came out of nowhere and called him an asshole out of the blue. He called himself that first, and she simply agreed. Big difference.
AnAverageWriter:
--- Quote from: Omega Entity on 14 Jan 2012, 14:14 --- He called himself that first, and she simply agreed. Big difference.
--- End quote ---
I'm going to have to disagree on this. She KNOWS Marten. She knows that one of the first things he does in a stressful situation is to self-deprecate. That is who he is, what he does. In every scenario, in every situation, he turns to those he trusts, self deprecates, and eventually moves beyond.
She didn't "simply" do anything- she took his self deprecation and turned it against him as an insult in the worst possible way.
pwhodges:
--- Quote from: AnAverageWriter on 14 Jan 2012, 13:49 ---Anyone who would consider "You are an asshole" as an appropriate friend response to just about ANYTHING needs some serious mental therapy.
--- End quote ---
It might be prudent to consider that the way this insult is viewed may vary in different places. In my part of the world it is a strong insult, but not one that needs to be avoided at any cost. If Faye had used it out of the blue (which she didn't) I would probably have been startled, but I would have been more likely to think: "she certainly feels strongly about that!" than: "she's beyond the pale for saying that!"; turning Marten's own deprecation back on him, as Faye did, would be entirely within bounds in my circle.
As an aside, this also illustrates one of the problems of moderating an international forum like this!
Is it cold in here?:
A point someone made earlier, which somehow got lost, is that Marten didn't really argue for himself or present his side of the story. He may have been fishing, but it also looks like he could have been kicking himself and inviting Faye to help.
If Padma was busy moving, why didn't she invite Marten to help her pack?
--- Quote from: lepetitfromage ---True, I just think a lot of people are upset with the way Padma and Marten treated each other because they're making the "relationship" seem more serious than it was. Should they have been nicer? Sure. But if nothing else happened off screen, to each other they're not much more than not-quite-strangers. People aren't as courteous to those that they don't interact with consistently.
--- End quote ---
I see what you mean, but some consideration is appropriate after someone gets naked and vulnerable with you.
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