Comic Discussion > QUESTIONABLE CONTENT
WCDT January 9-13, 2012 (2096-2100)
Overkillengine:
"Treat me with respect or I walk away" is exactly how it works. That is enforcing respect.
You get exactly what you put up with. One of the best ways out when dealing with a person that hasn't quite clued in on what is and isn't a decent thing to do and for some reason refuses to do so is to refuse to play ball. If you keep taking it, you validate it and the cycle continues. Doing a 180 flip and becoming like them isn't exactly constructive either.
themacnut:
I'm pretty sure Marten is seeing the Ghost of Vicki in this situation. He ended up trying so hard to salvage things there that he moved across the country to be with her, and things between them still crashed and burned-and a lot like things are now between him and Padma-with her becoming increasingly uncommunicative.
It's quite possible that he's thinking his failure to "take the hint" from Vicki's similar behavior led to a long drawn-out breakup and him being stuck on the other side of the country. He's probably thinking that he's NOT going to repeat that mistake with Padma; her behavior in canceling dates and not returning his calls-so hauntingly familiar to Vicki's-is saying to him that she's done, and it's not like this was going to last anyway, right?
If this is what he's thinking (and it seems so), if the Ghost of Vicki is haunting him right now (looks like it is), then no way in hell is he going anywhere near tSB. By this reasoning, all that's going to accomplish is an embarrassing and tense scene where Padma has to tell him to his face that it's over. And that's assuming it's even that civil-Marten may be imagining being tossed out by Elliot or taken away by the cops while Padma hides in the back.
If all that's going through his mind, and it seems like at least some of it is, then I'll be very surprised if he goes into tSB. He may feel it won't help anyway, so why bother? Why risk a bad scene? Let it end there, he won't have to see Padma again, no big loss right? (So he'll tell himself. He won't believe it deep down, but he'll tell himself that.)
pwhodges:
--- Quote from: Overkillengine on 11 Jan 2012, 03:18 ---That is enforcing respect.
--- End quote ---
Have you never heard the phrase "to earn respect"?
You imply that there can be some God-given right to respect, which maybe not everyone would agree with - especially if this is in some way linked with being male (which is all too common, I fear).
Of course, we should all try to respect others, regardless of failings, but this is a different matter from demanding or expecting respect (which is too often a matter of wanting to be kowtowed to - really, different words should be used) - it is far more important to be able to respect others than to be respected.
Overkillengine:
--- Quote from: pwhodges on 11 Jan 2012, 04:07 ---
--- Quote from: Overkillengine on 11 Jan 2012, 03:18 ---That is enforcing respect.
--- End quote ---
Have you never heard the phrase "to earn respect"?
You imply that there can be some God-given right to respect, which maybe not everyone would agree with - especially if this is in some way linked with being male (which is all too common, I fear).
Of course, we should all try to respect others, regardless of failings, but this is a different matter from demanding or expecting respect (which is too often a matter of wanting to be kowtowed to - really, different words should be used) - it is far more important to be able to respect others than to be respected.
--- End quote ---
Nice assumption as to my meaning, but no.
I mean as in the basic respect everyone regardless of gender is due.
But I SO appreciate the assumption. :roll:
And in this example Marten already showed/earned respect by trying to communicate when the initial shutdown occurred. It has not been returned in the last week. If this is deliberate on her part, then kowtowing to it by being a door mat can actively make it worse, by sending the message that he will put up with getting ignored/shut down.
This is in no way a healthy thing in either a FwB or serious relationship to encourage/condone.
Edit: And to nip any further incredibly insulting insinuations of male chauvinism in the bud- the behavior of just cutting communication with someone like that without a VERY good reason is an incredibly disrespectful thing to do regardless of gender, race, creed, religion, species, disability, artistic ability, IQ, endowment, or wealth. (non-exhaustive list)
pwhodges:
--- Quote from: Overkillengine on 11 Jan 2012, 04:23 ---Nice assumption as to my meaning, but no.
--- End quote ---
I'm sorry if I am misinterpreting you; I took your meaning from this:
--- Quote from: Overkillengine on 11 Jan 2012, 03:18 ---"Treat me with respect or I walk away"
--- End quote ---
which seems consistent with some of your other posts.
One could say that walking away is not respecting the other party by not first trying to find out why they are doing what they do.
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