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Happy Birthday from Hugging Hannelore!

13 (28.3%)

Lt. Potter disrupts the D'awwwwww

6 (13%)

"That's the first time you've willingly hugged me since you were a baby!"

3 (6.5%)

A little physical contact...

0 (0%)

Schtup MY daughter, eh?

3 (6.5%)

Observatory is up at the top of the spindle... in zero-g...

0 (0%)

"Wuh... wait." KISSSS HURRRRLLL Agh!

2 (4.3%)

ANGUS DID YOU LEAVE THE TOILET SEAT UP?

3 (6.5%)

That's the most stereotypical, sitcom thing you could possibly...

0 (0%)

...You fell in? I fell in.

1 (2.2%)

You better not be making fun of me.

1 (2.2%)

Francis told me you... he told me what happened. (I'm SUCH AN IDIOT)

0 (0%)

Someday, everything is going to go right for you, and it will be so wonderful you won't even know what to do.

10 (21.7%)

...Will there be cake?

4 (8.7%)

Total Members Voted: 43

[Kugai]

Oh dear.

[Skewbrow]

I hope Marten doesn't say to Hannerdad "All I did was poke her!".

I'm mildly worried that when the camera returns to the B-day party, a still enraged HannerDad blurts out something like. "You're not a worthy mate for my Princess. See this genetic map. In your chromosome #18. There is this gene that makes you lack ambition..."

[Carl-E]

We guys are used to looking at the thing first.  Women tend to back in...   


Seriously, my wife wrote (in bright red nail polish) "PUT ME DOWN" on the underside of the seat in our first apartment! 

[pwhodges]

Does this really happen to people?

Yes...

I'll say no more.

[Kugai]

Definitely a Ray Romano moment.

[pwhodges]

In your chromosome #18. There is this gene that makes you lack ambition..."

He'd be lucky!  Chromosome 18 abnormality is much worse than that.

[akronnick]

WARNING
This toilet is equipped with a two position seat
Please ensure seat is in correct position for your intended use before using.

[Near Lurker]

It's a good thing she isn't seeing me - I cannot stand it when the lid's up, so that could have been awkward.

[Skewbrow]

In your chromosome #18. There is this gene that makes you lack ambition..."

He'd be lucky!  Chromosome 18 abnormality is much worse than that.

I should have known better than to pick a random number between 1 and 23 

[SomeCanadianWeirdo]

You should close the lid on the toilet whether you live with a woman or not.  Keeps any mist that might be generated in the toilet bowl.

Faye looks very butch in this strip.  Of course thinking that may have something to do with having just read a couple of articles about lesbian separatists during the '70s/

[westrim]

WARNING
This toilet is equipped with a two position seat
Please ensure seat is in correct position for your intended use before using.

Soon to be legislated onto a bathroom wall near you.

I can't sympathize with Faye on this one. Being upset that she fell in? Okay. Being upset with Angus that she fell in? Nope. It is only ones own responsibility to make sure of what one is sitting on, not anyone else's.

Also, in my experience, even mildly bad vision results in glasses wearing habits that consist of waking up and putting them on, then not taking them off until directly before getting into bed, with only events like showering intervening. I imagine a person with vision as bad as hers would result in habits just as stringent. Why is she fine with looking at a blurry blob approximately the shape of the person she loves?

You should close the lid on the toilet whether you live with a woman or not.  Keeps any mist that might be generated in the toilet bowl.

EDIT: removed for inability to find a source.

Also, it wouldn't matter anyway in the case of urine, because urine is sterile.

[jmucchiello]

Ow, ow, ow, I think I got whiplash coming out of orbit that fast.

My response to my wife the only time this came up was "You don't rely on my memory for anything else. Why should this be any different? Look before you stick your ass somewhere."

[themacnut]

WARNING
This toilet is equipped with a two position seat
Please ensure seat is in correct position for your intended use before using.

Men should print this out and put it up in their bathrooms, especially if they share them with women.

My response to being yelled at for leaving the seat up (it happens to most guys living with women at some point) has always been something along the lines of "What, your arm is broken so you can't put the seat down? If so, where's the cast?" After a few go-rounds she stopped fussing at me about it and just learned to look before she sat.

Might not work with someone with a temper and tendency to violence like Faye though...

[Is it cold in here?]

I don't always put on my glasses for a middle-of-the-night bathroom trip.

Urine is only sterile if there's no kidney disease and no urinary tract infection, and if you don't count viruses, and if it's fresh. In a short time it turns into a culture medium.

[Skewbrow]

Faye looks very butch in this strip.  Of course thinking that may have something to do with having just read a couple of articles about lesbian separatists during the '70s/

I think it is just Faye's apple-cinnamon hair product.
Or did you refer to something other than her looks?

[cesariojpn]

Someone is sleeping on the couch tonight, huh?

[slydon]

Too soon!

[Torlek]

My response to my wife the only time this came up was "You don't rely on my memory for anything else. Why should this be any different? Look before you stick your ass somewhere."

You brave, brave idiot. How many nights were you on the couch for that?

[Soulsynger]

When did those two get married, btw.? Have we been in space for so long? 

My response to my wife the only time this came up was "You don't rely on my memory for anything else. Why should this be any different? Look before you stick your ass somewhere."

This is genius. Any time you are being confronted, just claim unreliability. Ye goats da stoff prezzedents're maed oaff. 

[westrim]

I don't always put on my glasses for a middle-of-the-night bathroom trip.

Urine is only sterile if there's no kidney disease and no urinary tract infection, and if you don't count viruses, and if it's fresh. In a short time it turns into a culture medium.

This isn't the middle of the night. Unless Angus is enough of a jerk to read with the room fully lit (actually, why is the room so well lit?) while she was trying to sleep (or he's in Marten's room for some reason), both of them are only ready for bed. Why would she have taken them off- or, if she had already climbed into bed and was reading next to him or something, why would she not put back on the glasses she took off a few minutes before?

Broadly, for general, non nitpicky, non writing half-a-dozen-caveats-in-case-someone's-feeling-contrary purposes, urine is sterile.

[akronnick]

But it's still somewhat icky.

And urine's not the only thing that goes in a toilet.
The other stuff is decidedly NOT sterile.

[BigUgly73]

1. My toilet shares the room with my toothbrush.  I put the seat and lid down every time.  I read an article in Nick Magazine as a kid that talked about mist water particles shooting into the air while flushing the toilet and ever since the lid has stayed down. 

2.  I do not understand nor have sympathy for a creature that dives butt first at something without first making sure it's not going to end badly. 

3.  Seriously? Faye's hips don't naturally prevent that sort of thing?  We've spent 8 years discussing how Faye's defining physical characteristic is her curves, and then BOOM she falls into a toilet?  Oh and I checked, the first time we get the comic verbally detailing her curviness, it is in fact about her hips being specifically designed to prevent falling into a toilet.

[cesariojpn]

3.  Seriously? Faye's hips don't naturally prevent that sort of thing?  We've spent 8 years discussing how Faye's defining physical characteristic is her curves, and then BOOM she falls into a toilet?  Oh and I checked, the first time we get the comic verbally detailing her curviness, it is in fact about her hips being specifically designed to prevent falling into a toilet.

Building might be old, and have toilets that aren't those newfangled low-flush toilets that can't flush enough frickin' water into the bowl to swoosh your damn crapload of 10 McChicken Sandwiches and Supersize Fries and TP down the hole so it get's jammed and you need to plunger the damn thing and then reflush it a couple more times, thereby negating the water savings that the damn toilet was intended to do in the first place!! And disinfect the plunger!!

[dreed]

1. My toilet shares the room with my toothbrush.  I put the seat and lid down every time.  I read an article in Nick Magazine as a kid that talked about mist water particles shooting into the air while flushing the toilet and ever since the lid has stayed down. 

the shit particles are everywhere in the air.  mist or no mist you are inhaling them anyway.
not that it is not good for you.  quite opposite.  without that we would die in our forties.

germs, dirts, viruses are good for us.

[pwhodges]

The bacteria in our gut are an important part of the way it works - a fact that is used in the marketing of bio-yogurts in particular.  This is also why antibiotics often cause digestive problems.

The lack of exposure of children to normal dirt through the modern fetish for cleanliness is a major cause of allergies and other diseases of immunity, because their immune systems are denied the triggers that cause them to develop properly.

[WAYF]

If I remember correctly, Faye really really can't see without her glasses.

[Akima]

The obvious answer to all these toilet-seat shenanigans is to adopt the Asian squat toilet. No lid, no seat, no worries! Just equal falling-in opportunities, and and general hilarity from people who didn't grow up with them.

And do Americans seriously obsess about germ-laden mists rising from their toilets? Your immune-systems will atrophy and you'll all be wiped out by an infectious disease spread by unsanitized telephones.

[westrim]

If I remember correctly, Faye really really can't see without her glasses.

Yes, which is why it's so weird that she'd go anywhere without them.

The obvious answer to all these toilet-seat shenanigans is to adopt the Asian squat toilet. No lid, no seat, no worries! Just equal falling-in opportunities, and and general hilarity from people who didn't grow up with them.

And do Americans seriously obsess about germ-laden mists rising from their toilets? Your immune-systems will atrophy and you'll all be wiped out by an infectious disease spread by unsanitized telephones.

Which is also much better mechanically speaking, as it puts the important bits in a straight line. Westerners have far more problems with defecating, and due to natural spreading of the cheeks they result in far less residue and far fewer cling-ons circling your anus.

We don't actually obsess, we just like to sound like we do, and some people fail to get it and actually obsess. Like Hannelore.


The main source for the information most of us are vaguely recollecting is a microbiologist by the name of Charles Gerba, who about a dozen years ago published some research about common bacterial hotspots and places perceived as such. It was jumped on by a plethora of journalists and writers for everything from kids magazines to humorists to Important News Organizations, all of whom largely missed the point that it wasn't a bad thing in favor of "fecal matter is aeresolized and spread throughout the bath room!" or "the kitchen sponge is the dirtiest place in the house!"

 EDIT: I swear I wrote that before looking at the Wikipedia article, but to diversify I'll add that toilet seats are quite clean and so are public bathroom handles, according to his research.

He named his son after E. coli.

[themacnut]

The obvious answer to all these toilet-seat shenanigans is to adopt the Asian squat toilet. No lid, no seat, no worries! Just equal falling-in opportunities, and and general hilarity from people who didn't grow up with them.

  Oh HELL to the NO!!!! No way would I even TRY to squat over what's essentially a big hole that's flush to the floor, that's just ASKING to fall in! 

I'd have to be in danger of crapping on myself to even give serious consideration to using one of those. At least urinating is simple-for a guy anyway, he can stand up either way, the urine's just got farther to fall.

[pwhodges]

The bigger the fall, the greater the spray raised as it splashes!

[TheBiscuit]

Seriously? Faye's hips don't naturally prevent that sort of thing?  We've spent 8 years discussing how Faye's defining physical characteristic is her curves, and then BOOM she falls into a toilet?

This was my first reaction. As soon as I read the strip I instantly said to myself "Isn't her butt big enough to prevent that?"

I guess if you read the newspost under the comic, Jeph's wife doesn't have as much junk in the trunk and he didn't want to waste the joke. Who else would it work for?

[themacnut]

The bigger the fall, the greater the spray raised as it splashes!

Bleargh, forgot about that part. Guess you gotta squat either way, and hope you've got good balance-and aim

[Sorflakne]

Aaahahahahahaha!  Great comic.

[no one special]

If I remember correctly, Faye really really can't see without her glasses.

She's probably not THAT blind. 

I've been wearing glasses since I was 18 months old, the prescription on my glasses are around -11. My eyes are baaaaaaad - but if i don't have my glasses on, I can still tell whether the toilet seat is up or down.  She probably just didn't think to look - that's on her. 

[J]

For some reason media in my life has been filled with male vs. female toilet use lately.

Does this really happen to people? I always thought it WAS something sitcoms made up just to take "the war of the sexes" to its silliest extremes? And why have I never heard about a guy falling in when he tries to poop?

This is all way too confusing for me 

i've heard of it happening to women with occasional stories about getting stuck and needing help, but only second or third hand.

as to guys, it's probably because we are used to checking to make sure it's in the proper configuration before use.

Look before you stick your ass somewhere."

truly, these are words to live by.

The obvious answer to all these toilet-seat shenanigans is to adopt the Asian squat toilet. No lid, no seat, no worries! Just equal falling-in opportunities, and and general hilarity from people who didn't grow up with them.

problem there is that an increased range correlates with a decreased accuracy.

also, the 'did you know' thing from the end of the video reminds me of a story my dad told me about visiting a crocodile farm in thailand. apparently it wasn't pigs under the thing.

[techkid]

And do Americans seriously obsess about germ-laden mists rising from their toilets? Your immune-systems will atrophy and you'll all be wiped out by an infectious disease spread by unsanitized telephones.

Hell, not just Americans. Just about every part of the modern world is germophobic to some extent. Hospitals here in Australia are sanitized aggressively, and now there are so-called superbugs that are immune to antibiotics. My dad knew of a boy whose mum was something of a gunslinger with the soap bottle. If even the tiniest speck got on him - BAM cleaned and scrubbed. Started getting infections from unknown sources, and his mother didn't know what to do. Took him to the doctor, told her story, but the doctor noticed her habits and said basically that it was killing him. Don't know the end result of the story (or even its legitimacy), but it does have some plausibility when you have an idea of how your immune system works.

That being said, living in conditions that would offend a garbage dump would be just as bad if not worse. Maintaining some basic standards of hygiene without going all Hanners over it is enough.

[Border Reiver]

Ow, ow, ow, I think I got whiplash coming out of orbit that fast.

My response to my wife the only time this came up was "You don't rely on my memory for anything else. Why should this be any different? Look before you stick your ass somewhere."

Tried that once, when I regained conciousness...

[Technoir]

I wager 400 quatloos on the newcomer.

futurama strikes again

Huh? That's an original series Star Trek reference.

Confirmed.

<Nevermind. Someone beat me to it...>

[lepetitfromage]

Am I the only one here who closes the toilet lid because A) It looks nicer and B) I'm sick of things falling into it*?




*By this I mean objects, not asses. I've only done that once and had a good laugh about it.

[vettechinohio]

Aww, poor Faye.

This reminds me of a particular night when I didn't have my glasses on either (-9 in both eyes) and needed to pee after taking out my contacts. My glasses were not kept in the bathroom, but I stored my contacts there since I had to wash my hands before removing them anyway, which is also a possibility as to why Faye didn't have hers on (many of my friends do the same). Anyway, my boyfriend had unknowingly made the toilet back up, and the water was just high enough in the bowl that my butt made full contact with it when I sat down. It was mid winter in Ohio, and our bathroom is always frigid, but it took me a few seconds of sleepily thinking "Why is there such a cold draft on my butt?" before I realized what the situation was. Needless to say I less than pleased.

[Black Sword]

I guess Jeph wanted *puts sunglasses on* to bring us down to earth.

[SomeCanadianWeirdo]

Or could it be our old friend, Butts Disease?

[Throg]

Oh my, oh my. This is a case where the comic was mildly amusing and the forums are f'in hilarious. 

[jwhouk]

So how do we wrap this all up?

Drink Whiskey, Hold Hands, Go Home.    6 (6.9%)
There's GOTTA be a Big Reveal in here SOMEWHERE!    21 (24.1%) (Well, there kinda was...)
Marbear and Francis, sittin' in a tree...    11 (12.6%)
Marten and Hakase, sittin' in the bunks...    2 (2.3%)
Hannelore exceeds her Cuteness Quotient for this Story Arc!    20 (23%) (Too late...)
Big joke revealed - there wasn't anything in the whiskey bottle.    1 (1.1%)
They're all back on earth on Monday. No one says a WORD about what happened.    13 (14.9%)
More Ghostbusters Jokes!    0 (0%)
MORE WAFFLES!    0 (0%)
More Spathe Ham!    3 (3.4%)
We're just along for the ride (kicking and screaming and yelling, "Are we THERE yet?" the whole trip)    10 (11.5%)

Total Members Voted: 87

[jwhouk]

Am I the only one here who closes the toilet lid because A) It looks nicer and B) I'm sick of things falling into it*?

*By this I mean objects, not asses. I've only done that once and had a good laugh about it.

A. No you're not, and
B. No, sadly, you're not (and also for what you meant. I've missed the sink when trying to toss my toothbrush from the shower.).

[Border Reiver]

For the poll you forgot "Puking during makeouts"

You're all welcome for the mental image.

[Method of Madness]

I guess Jeph wanted *puts sunglasses on* to bring us down to earth.

Affirmative

[Kenyahp]

Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. I remember Aaahh! Real Monsters. And now I'm too terrified to do ANYTHING. That show scared the living daylights outta me. Still does, its soooo creepy.

I check if its the middle of the night. Not because of paranoia, but because one night I got up without my glasses on but they were in my hand and I was lazy. And I saw something in the corner while I was seated and it was A GIANT FRIGGING SPIDER when I put my glasses on. The movement must have startled it, I don't know, but it started running towards me. So. I put my glasses on now and check everything.

Luckily, my brothers put the seat down because they saw my dad get yelled at enough when we were kids about that.

Also: Poor Faye Jeph is just being super cruel to his characters.

[Redball]

In 45 or so years in two marriages, excluding a couple of years squatting in India, I learned to put the seat down as a matter of fairness and good order, visual and marital.

[Is it cold in here?]

She's probably not THAT blind. 

Faye's history of trying to go to the bathroom without glasses

Since we're doing toilet humor, I saw a sign in a hardware store proudly advertising that a new line of toilet could flush thirty golf balls. My reaction was that a new toilet was an inferior solution to a change of diet.