Fun Stuff > CHATTER
Eye contact
Lines:
I have to look at people in order to listen to them. I become easily distracted by movement, so I tend to look away a lot, but I have to find my way back to the person's face if I want to hear the rest of what they are saying. Sometimes I feel rude, because I'm sure people have thought I was checking them out based on the glances I give them when I'm talking to someone else, but I'm not. They moved, I noticed, and had to see what was moving and why.
Of course when I'm walking down the hall and probably should look at people, I don't. I get lost in my head and have had people say my name loudly or wave at me frantically in order to catch my attention, even if they're right in front of me. When I was a kid, I'd stare off into space and it would make people uncomfortable and think I was staring at them even if I wasn't actually looking at them. Now I think I've learned to stare at inanimate objects, like my desk or a wall, because I don't seem to do this much anymore.
I don't look at people in cities most of the time, but I will when there are few people around. But it's a one time glance and if I don't meet an eye right away, I immediately stop looking. I think it's weird to look at people for more than a second when walking past them if they aren't looking at you. I don't think it's rude for people to not look back, though, because I had to force myself to look at people and not the ground. I used to stare down when walking, but that's not good for multiple reasons, so I learned to focus on faces or at least the tops of heads. Then at least I can see where I'm going!
Redball:
My wife would stare at people, enough to make me uncomfortable enough to point it out to her. I don't think I ever learned what was going on in her head, whether she was taking in details or otherwise thinking about the person, usually a stranger, at whom she was staring, or if she simply got lost in some unconnected thought.
LTK:
--- Quote from: nekowafer on 10 Sep 2012, 06:39 ---I have pretty terrible hearing, and generally announce that. But I can't really read lips at all, and I'm one of those people that notices every tiny detail when I do look at someone. So if I'm actually looking at my boss's face while speaking to her, I am distracted by the dry skin on her nose and the wrinkles and dyed hair and so on.
--- End quote ---
I do exactly the same thing, but it doesn't appear to distract me enough to lose track of what I or the other person is saying. So if I'm looking at someone who's speaking to me, I usually pay close attention to the colour of their eyes, their mascara or other make-up. Maybe that's distracting from any possible anxiety about eye contact; you could try it.
Lines:
--- Quote from: Redball on 10 Sep 2012, 09:14 ---My wife would stare at people, enough to make me uncomfortable enough to point it out to her. I don't think I ever learned what was going on in her head, whether she was taking in details or otherwise thinking about the person, usually a stranger, at whom she was staring, or if she simply got lost in some unconnected thought.
--- End quote ---
This might sound creepy, but I do analyze the shapes in peoples' bodies. I don't know if that's what she did, but a few of my artist friends have admitted to doing the same thing.
Redball:
That doesn't seem creepy. I worried that her stare made the objects uncomfortable.
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version