Reminds me of a joke...
Many years ago, a rather dapper fellow went into a lingerie store - high collar, bowler, spats, the whole deal.  The clerk asked if she could help him, and he said he wanted to purchase a brassiere for a lady friend.  
"Certainly, sir; what size?"  
"Seven and three eighths."
"I'm sorry, sir?"  
"Seven and three eighths."
"I'm afraid that's not a brassiere size, sir.  How did you come by that number?"  
"Why, I measured it myself!"  
"May I ask how, sir?"  
"With my hat, of course!"
[crickets]