Topic: QC Captions Vol. 83 (Read 17927 times)

iduguphergrave · « **on:** 07 Oct 2012, 09:09 »

New week! Time for a lake house PAR-TAY (maybe)! First image!:

Enjoy!

Carl-E · « **Reply #1 on:** 07 Oct 2012, 09:37 »

"Dear Marten,

Is it really the size of your forearm and fist?

And as dextrous?

Curious,

Emily Azume

Is it cold in here? · « **Reply #2 on:** 07 Oct 2012, 09:42 »

"Here's my latest xkcd fan fiction. Please give me your honest opinion."

Border Reiver · « **Reply #3 on:** 07 Oct 2012, 15:37 »

Emily Azume (Plaintiff)

And

Marten Tiberius Reed (Defendant)

1. Emily Azume (hereafter the Plaintiff) is a graduate student at SMiF and as part of her course of studies is an intern at the library.

2. Marten Tiberius Reed (hereafter the Defendant) is the Plaintiff's supervisor at the library.

3. On a date to be determined at trial, the Defendant did show obscene material to the Plaintiff while making suggestive motions. This made the Plaintff extremely uncomfortable. In addition he forced the Plaintff and others to accompany him away from the worksite to a local business.

4. The Defendant continued this behaviour, thereby abusing his authority, harassing the Plaintiff.

5. The Defendant wishes this matter tried in the court of public opinion and for damages to be assessed accordingly.

PthariensFlame · « **Reply #4 on:** 07 Oct 2012, 16:13 »

Quote from: Border Reiver on 07 Oct 2012, 15:37

4. The Defendant continued this behaviour, thereby abusing his authority, harassing the Defendant.

Emily is weird, but I don't think she'd go as far as harassing herself.

Border Reiver · « **Reply #5 on:** 07 Oct 2012, 20:11 »

You're right.

Fixed that

Sorflakne · « **Reply #6 on:** 07 Oct 2012, 20:14 »

Dear Marten,

I've decided I want to learn more about anime. Do you watch it? If not, do you have any friends that do?

MillionDollar Belt Sander · « **Reply #7 on:** 07 Oct 2012, 22:20 »

Roses Are Red
Violets Are Blue
I'm Not Good At Rhyming
Lets Get Together And Fuck
--Emily Azume

Sidhekin · « **Reply #8 on:** 07 Oct 2012, 22:24 »

What do you know about Pokemon?

Emily Azume

WAYF · « **Reply #9 on:** 07 Oct 2012, 22:59 »

Dear Marten,

I'm having a pool party this weekend, and you're invited! Can you make it? If so, bring your friends!

Oh, and could you please pretend that this is a love letter? If Tai thinks I'm crushing on you, she might stop hitting on me.
Just blushing and stammering a bit would probably be fine.

Thanks!
Emily Azuma

Soulsynger · « **Reply #10 on:** 08 Oct 2012, 02:55 »

"Dear Marten

I always wanted to write someone a self-destructing letter.

Unfortunately I don't have any access to explosive material - yet.

So if you could do me a favor and act like this letter will self-destruct in
5 seconds I'd be a very very very happy Emily.

Emily Azume

"

(Hey, I even got the color right!)

Rockman · « **Reply #11 on:** 08 Oct 2012, 06:32 »

Agent Reed,

SPECTRE and KGB-X are both sending teams to retrieve the package at the lakehouse. You will be assigned to the SPECTRE team. Retrieve the fake package from the dead drop at the LAN Park and make sure it ends up in KGB-X's hands. If we can position your employer at SPECTRE and KGB-X against each other they should be distracted long enough for R&D to analyze and disable the device. Steve may be called on for a diversion but remember that he is now freelance and under no circumstances should learn the contents of the package.

God help you if this goes bad like the Station op.

Emily Azume

All of this in pretty pink cursive, smiley face included.

DSL · « **Reply #12 on:** 08 Oct 2012, 06:36 »

Mr. Reed,

This is to inform you I am leaving the Smif library in two weeks' time.

I have just signed a deal to become a major rock and roll star. Do you know any guitar and drum players?

Love,

Emily Azuma

cesium133 · « **Reply #13 on:** 08 Oct 2012, 06:42 »

Mr. Reed,

Does this smell like chloroform?

Emily Azuma

Soulsynger · « **Reply #14 on:** 08 Oct 2012, 08:25 »

"Dear Marten,

STEAMPUNK. EXPLAIN STEAMPUNK.

Emily Azume

"

Skewbrow · « **Reply #15 on:** 08 Oct 2012, 08:37 »

Dear Marten (if I may),

You seem to be an open-minded nice person. My wife, our boyfriend and I would like to get to know you better, so on behalf of us three I would like to invite you to our place, 6969 Willow Rd, next Friday at 7 p.m.

Love,

Emily Azuma

PS. The little birds have told me that you are particularly skilled in the art of Japanese rope binding. So if it is not asking too much, we hope that you would not mind giving us a few lessons.

DSL · « **Reply #16 on:** 08 Oct 2012, 11:10 »

UP

/s/Emily Azuma

iduguphergrave · « **Reply #17 on:** 08 Oct 2012, 14:53 »

Dark Knight reference? (just making sure)

DSL · « **Reply #18 on:** 08 Oct 2012, 16:26 »

Maybe.

FunkyTuba · « **Reply #19 on:** 08 Oct 2012, 20:48 »

Marten,

Do you own a rat?

Rats are cool.

Emily Azuma : )

Border Reiver · « **Reply #20 on:** 09 Oct 2012, 04:52 »

Marten,

Please don't take this the wrong way, but I need to know why does a school library need a pornography section?

And why is this one so large?

WAYF · « **Reply #21 on:** 09 Oct 2012, 05:13 »

Quote from: Border Reiver on 09 Oct 2012, 04:52

Marten,

Please don't take this the wrong way, but I need to know why does a school library need a pornography section?

And why is this one so large?

Marten's reply:

Dear Emily,

Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I have since discovered that my Anthro-PC, Pintsize, has a history of making "charitable donations" towards this particular library.

If you need any help cleansing the pornography section of its overabundance of pregnant horse porn, just let me know.

Best of luck,
Marten.

DSL · « **Reply #22 on:** 09 Oct 2012, 06:58 »

I just hit your car with mine in the parking lot. The people watching me think I am leaving my name and phone number. They are wrong. I am signing this with the name of someone I found in the campus phone book.

Ph2 · « **Reply #23 on:** 09 Oct 2012, 12:12 »

Dear Marten:

What's in the black bin?

Love:
Emily Azume

Jabberwocky · « **Reply #24 on:** 10 Oct 2012, 04:40 »

"Get your ass to Mars."

"The codec frequency is on the back of the CD case."

"The person whose name is written in this note shall die. Love, Emily Azuma ...ah, crap."

jwhouk · « **Reply #25 on:** 10 Oct 2012, 06:22 »

"Dear Marten,

Don't tell the others, but I'm going to re-enact all of the Halloween movies at the party! Don't worry, I'll let you play the Jamie Lee Curtis role.

Love, Emily Azuma <3"

DSL · « **Reply #26 on:** 10 Oct 2012, 07:04 »

Dear Marten,

I wrote this in invisible ink.

Please read and follow these instructions carefully to make this note visible.

<3<3<3 Emily Azuma

jmucchiello · « **Reply #27 on:** 10 Oct 2012, 11:08 »

Quote from: DSL on 10 Oct 2012, 07:04

Dear Marten,

I wrote this in invisible ink.

Please read and follow these instructions carefully to make this note visible.

<3<3<3 Emily Azuma

Well played.

iduguphergrave · « **Reply #28 on:** 10 Oct 2012, 13:54 »

Quote from: Jabberwocky on 10 Oct 2012, 04:40

"The person whose name is written in this note shall die. Love, Emily Azuma ...ah, crap."

I lol'd. NEW IMAGE:

celticgeek · « **Reply #29 on:** 10 Oct 2012, 13:59 »

Angus: Victorian Porn?
Marigold: Victorian Porn.

DSL · « **Reply #30 on:** 10 Oct 2012, 14:34 »

ANGUS: "Ooooh, vacation pictures! ... Uh, is that ...?"
MARIGOLD: " ... the wiener? Yeah."

MillionDollar Belt Sander · « **Reply #31 on:** 10 Oct 2012, 14:37 »

ANGUS: ...Pandas? REALLY?
MARIGOLD: Pandas. Really.

Ph2 · « **Reply #32 on:** 10 Oct 2012, 15:07 »

Angus: Harry and Filius Flitwick fanfic?

Marigold: And Snape.

jwhouk · « **Reply #33 on:** 10 Oct 2012, 15:19 »

Angus: "You're sure?"
Marigold: "Azuma is the same Japanese surname as Voorhees. Says right here."

FunkyTuba · « **Reply #34 on:** 10 Oct 2012, 15:24 »

Angus: Whoa, I had no idea your dad was into...
Marigold: STEAMPUNK!

ChaosWolf · « **Reply #35 on:** 10 Oct 2012, 18:48 »

Angus: "And now she's bent over and... wait, are those..."

Marigold: "I thought Momo said the eel subroutine wasn't part of her new chassis..."

MillionDollar Belt Sander · « **Reply #36 on:** 10 Oct 2012, 21:41 »

ANGUS: Holy--- 1.6 billion dollars on a Kickstarter... What's the project?
MARIGOLD: It says Butts. Just... Butts.

celticgeek · « **Reply #37 on:** 10 Oct 2012, 21:48 »

Winner! ^

tempest3k · « **Reply #38 on:** 11 Oct 2012, 01:15 »

Angus: Is that Coffee of Doom?
Marigold: Yep, there's currently a bidding war for the stream rights with a number of reality TV companies...

Soulsynger · « **Reply #39 on:** 11 Oct 2012, 02:28 »

Angus: "You really should fix that hole down there ... the one in the chair."
Marigold: "I keep not getting around to it. ... and stop poking me!"

Mr_Rose · « **Reply #40 on:** 11 Oct 2012, 02:43 »

Angus: "How did you get stuck like that anyway?"
Marigold: "Slashdot are calling it 'Warcraft Neck'"

Border Reiver · « **Reply #41 on:** 11 Oct 2012, 04:35 »

Angus: "It's happening, it's actually happening..."

Marigold: "The Noodle Incident..."

MillionDollar Belt Sander · « **Reply #42 on:** 11 Oct 2012, 06:35 »

ANGUS: Again?

MARIGOLD: Still.

Carl-E · « **Reply #43 on:** 11 Oct 2012, 08:04 »

Quote from: MillionDollar Belt Sander on 11 Oct 2012, 06:35

ANGUS: Again?
MARIGOLD: Still.

COmputer: LEEEEEROYYYY JENKINNNNNNNS!!

DSL · « **Reply #44 on:** 11 Oct 2012, 11:10 »

ANGUS: "Eww. That's how you make Midnight Hobo?"
MARIGOLD: "Yep. Want some?"

FunkyTuba · « **Reply #45 on:** 11 Oct 2012, 19:16 »

Angus: Penis goes There?
Marigold: APPARENTLY!

FunkyTuba · « **Reply #46 on:** 11 Oct 2012, 19:19 »

Angus: Prehensile Robotic Socks?
Marigold: I'M TRYING TO FIND THE OWNERS MANUAL ONLINE RIGHT NOW!

Vurogj · « **Reply #47 on:** 11 Oct 2012, 22:23 »

Angus : Is there any slash fiction of me that ISN'T Yaoi?
Marigold : Quiet. Reading. Bring pocky.

Border Reiver · « **Reply #48 on:** 12 Oct 2012, 04:25 »

Angus: "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

Marigold: "It really is as long as his forearm and as dextrous?"

StevenC · « **Reply #49 on:** 12 Oct 2012, 08:32 »

"Are you really just going crazy on your genitals while reading the changelog of the new WoW update?"
"Yes."

THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

Author Topic: QC Captions Vol. 83 (Read 17927 times)