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There oughta be a law!

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Papersatan:

--- Quote from: Barmymoo on 29 Oct 2012, 15:47 ---...but I still consider them to be demeaning harassment.

--- End quote ---
because they are. 

Getting hollared at makes me feel:
self-conscious about my appearance,
objectified and as though my value to society is mainly based upon my appearance,
depressed about my ability to be taken seriously or be a success, given these facts

Complements make you feel good.
There is a difference between giving a complement "I like your hair."  "that is a cute dress."  (though these can still be off putting when cornered by a man who wants to tell them to you) and harassing someone.  "hey girl, you look fine.  I like a girl with some ass.  You got a boyfriend?"

Thrillho:

--- Quote from: Welu on 29 Oct 2012, 15:53 ---Well you get told they're meant to be a compliment by some people but that hardly means you have to take it as a compliment. I've been told I should appreciate male attention of any kind since I "must not get it much as a bigger girl".

--- End quote ---

I reviewed a book once that brought home a point to me I've never considered - there's a massively overweight woman in it who says that she never had any true lovers, only men who had a fetish for her weight - and that made her feel bad about herself because it wasn't about her, she was just a vehicle, and that the first time she met someone who genuinely loved her personality that was when she knew it was love. This is scarcely relevant, but I'm bored. Also it's the only good part in a terrible book.

pwhodges:

--- Quote from: Barmymoo on 29 Oct 2012, 15:47 ---You're supposed to take wolf whistles as a compliment but I still consider them to be demeaning harassment.
--- End quote ---

This has, of course, changed markedly in my lifetime.  My cousin's mother - as determined and self-sufficient a lady as you could imagine (read the link) - was inordinately proud that she still got wolf-whistles from builders into her 50s, as I can testify from being with her at the time.

Is it cold in here?:

--- Quote from: Bluesummers on 28 Oct 2012, 22:49 ---Even worse is the look you get from the Japanese when you try to speak to them in their native tongue. My wife's Japanese instructor, an American, spoke fluently to a group of people in Kyoto, asking where the nearest train station was...they just looked at him like he couldn't understand him.

--- End quote ---

Some people with extensive experience there believe that it's genuine. Their notions of social roles are so ingrained that they filter perception. A foreigner, by definition, is big, smells bad, doesn't speak Japanese, and is lost. If a foreigner says something, it must be English, and if they don't recognize it as English, then it must be because the stranger is using English words the listener didn't learn in school.

Papersatan:
I'm not sure anyone has said anything terrible or untrue about it?

There was a problem here with new people being attacked, particularly if they talked about the comic or tried to defend someone who they didn't know. I was a part of it.  We were hostile and rude, but we were used to it. We expected new members to lurk for a long time before they gave input, and when one of them offended, it resulted in people piling on.  The group realized that they had out grown this space.  That is why people left, not because they were bad people but because there had been talk of making a separate forum for some time, and it had gotten to the point, since registration was finally unlocked, that it was clear that a large group of us might be better elsewhere.   

Pocket Jury is a fairly closed group of people, by design I would argue.  There is nothing wrong with that, but if you don't fit in with that group of people, then you don't fit in with them, if you do then it might be an excellent forum for you. If you post a lot in the music section here you might be interested, but if that is the case you also have seen Tommy's recent post advertising it.  If people are on this forum because they like and want to talk about the comic, then PJ is not the place for them.

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