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[Thrillho]

So I found a page on Facebook called 'heterophobia awareness month.'

Yes, apparently there are groups of straight folks who feel like they are oppressed by gays. No, really.

Anyway, I was in a terrible mood, and I needed something to rage at, so I basically asked them on their wall when they first had homosexual thoughts, because as all films and television shows have taught me, all homophobes ever are only homophobic because they themselves are gay. Cough.

No, I'm not proud of it, I was in a foul mood and it was a waste of my own time to bother with troublemaking anyway.

But the point is, one thing led to another and on their wall I jokingly said 'I hate white people.'

Facebook promptly blocked my account temporarily and said that if I was racist again I'd be barred from using the service.

 

I am a profoundly middle class white boy. Closest I am to a minority is that I'm 1/8th Jewish. That's it. And I got a racism warning for hating white people.

OKAY.

This may not have warranted a new thread but none of the others seemed to match it and I'm bored

[pwhodges]

I am a profoundly middle class white boy. Closest I am to a minority is that I'm 1/8th Jewish. That's it.

But Facebook doesn't know that; the Internet is a safer place if you assume everything you say will be taken literally and used against you.  Also, it's not like a remark in the pub that dies and is forgotten - everything is liable to stay on line for ever, regardless of how embarrassing it is, especially then.  You get used to it in the end...

[snalin]

There's prominent female tea party members who doesn't think women should vote, so it's not impossible that there's white dudes that hates whites.

[Thrillho]

I'm actually more surprised that it's this comment that pushed them over the edge 

[TheEvilDog]

I'm pretty much done with Facebook, the only reason I still use it is because of the Avengers game on there and my sister is posting photos up while she's in the States. The rest is just drivel and to be honest, most of my friends, I already talk to on a regular basis anyway, and the ones I can't see? I chat with messengers.

Facebook was a novelty and interesting to begin with, but now people are moving on to the likes of Tumblr and now you have the likes of these "heterophobia awareness month" being left behind. It's tedious, boring and marks the end of the site.

[Jace]

Tumblr is way better than facebook because you can let everyone know that you are a genderfluid asexual bearkin radfem and tell people to check their privilege.

[dr. nervioso]

I actually just created a tumblr. There's mostly cute pictures of cats and bunnies on there, but then again, those make up my favorite parts of the internet

[BeoPuppy]

Tumblr is way better than facebook because you can let everyone know that you are a genderfluid asexual bearkin radfem and tell people to check their privilege.

So ... much ... stuff ... to ... Google ...

[Jace]

Oh I forgot to put the word cisgender in there too. Damn.

genderfluid transgender asexual kanyekin radfem who hates racism and ableism

also #Trigger Warning: Bullshit.

[Papersatan]

There is a lot of porn on tumbler too, if, you know, you like that as well as kittens. 

I only Facebook when someone invites me to an event on Facebook.  It seems that it has stopped emailing me when people do that now, so unless you also invite me some other way, I won't be getting your message.

[Zingoleb]

I've recently made a tumblr. I'm having a hard time with it for two simple reasons: I'm part of two of the most hated groups on tumblr, multiples and otherkin.

Okay, so I'm not otherkin. But one of my alters is, and it's something she tried to post about only to get people making fun of her (ended up on TumblrTXT's twitter, even), so now she's scared to use it. I use it to talk about multiplicity, because the people I was finding on psychiatric forums were treating it as almost shameful and talking about ways to 'cure' it, and it seems like tumblr had/has a better community for how to live as multiple, without that constant tone of integration behind everything.

I don't talk about it much outside of tumblr. I'm honestly scared to, because it's something that I get a lot shit about on the relatively safe space of tumblr. It's still a big part of my life, and it's weird to have to keep it so closed off.

The most trouble I had on facebook was them not allowing me to put my nickname as Unicorn. Fuck you, Facebook, I'm a goddamn Unicorn and I'm proud of it.

[Jace]

I mostly tumbl about painting miniatures now.

I also hid everything I could easily hide on my fb. I don't want anyone seeing anything.
This of course freaked my girlfriend out thinking that I was dumping her.

[Carl-E]

A friend of our's found out her fiance was cheating on her when he changed his fb status to "It's complicated". 



Only because you decided to make it so, asshole. 

[Omega Entity]

I just don't understand why, if someone finds someone they'd rather be with, they don't have the decency to let the person they're currently involved with know that they don't want to be with them anymore.

[TheEvilDog]

My cousin found, shall we say inappropriate messages, both to and from her husband on Facebook. It became the straw that broke the camel's back for their marriage. (There was a lot of other stuff there, but the messages were what finally pushed my cousin to kick him out of the house)

[Papersatan]

And people think poly people are crazy. When I have a crush I skip home and tell Stephen.  When someone breaks my heart I cry in Stephen's arms.  It may be unconventional, but at least it is honest.

That said I hesitate to 'friend' people I know via being poly because I am afraid one of them will comment something that gives me away as poly.  My family is on Facebook, and I don't think my family would understand.

[Carl-E]

Family? 

My students are on facebook...


I avoid it like the plague. 

[Patrick]

One time I found out my girlfriend was cheating on me because her phone was on my nightstand and I kinda offhandedly glanced over at it when it went off with a text message saying "Come back over and finish the job, sex kitten." Turns out she'd been fucking half the Coast Guard base in the town I lived in.

Totally went and pissed on that dude's '69 Vette Stingray's door handle in -7C weather the next day, he spent the remainder of that winter getting into his car from the passenger side. Vengeance, I'm good at it.

[BeoPuppy]

Family? 

My students are on facebook...


I avoid it like the plague.

My girl's students are on her friends list. For her it's another tool to keep an eye out for them. Certain kids can be reached more easily via fb than in a classroom.

[Barmymoo]

I don't generally want to post things on facebook that I wouldn't say to my family or teachers or students, which is good because I am facebook friends with someone from each of those categories. I do curate my wall carefully but generally my friends aren't the sort of people to post things that would offend anyone else.

The thing I find weirdest about facebook is the way it's become the arbiter of what's real. When I started seeing my boyfriend "officially" last week, several people asked "Is it on facebook?". As if that were what made it a proper relationship. As it happens, I've simply removed the word Single from my page, because it feels less peculiar than putting up a big sign.

[VonKleist]

The relationship-thing is what makes me weary of facebook and it´s social impact.

Ugh, why would anyone want to read about people's random boring updates.
If I care to know about something I can ask the person in person and if I don't do that I probably don't care shit and I don't want to know what you just had for lunch or how your morning bowel-movement went.
There´s the german phrase "sich selbst nicht genug sein" which may translate to the feeling of oneself not being enough/not being satisfied with being by oneself/seeking the attention or approval of others in an overbearing way.. I think it describes quite nicely what is going on with social media a lot of the time and I disapprove of it. I don't want to share everything because I feel like everything is devaluated by being loquacious (is that pejorative?).

[BeoPuppy]

[...]
The thing I find weirdest about facebook is the way it's become the arbiter of what's real. When I started seeing my boyfriend "officially" last week, several people asked "Is it on facebook?". As if that were what made it a proper relationship. [...]

Yes, I've noticed this as well. As if fb status updates are a precursor to engagement ring shopping or meeting the parents or something. An odd addendum to courtship.

[pwhodges]

Loquacious is not inherently pejorative, I'd say, but is quite often used as a criticism of someone.

[Patrick]

I set my relationship status so that nobody can see it. It wouldn't let me be in a relationship with My Guitar, since apparently she is seeing someone else.

[Zingoleb]

I used to have my relationship set as an open relationship with my friend's cat's profile.

Pretty, pretty, Satan kitty, she'll go for the eyes.

[Lines]

The thing I find weirdest about facebook is the way it's become the arbiter of what's real. When I started seeing my boyfriend "officially" last week, several people asked "Is it on facebook?". As if that were what made it a proper relationship. As it happens, I've simply removed the word Single from my page, because it feels less peculiar than putting up a big sign.

Oh Facebook official relationships... Seriously though, updating my status to "engaged" was both convenient and annoying as fuck. First off, it meant I didn't have to call everyone and tell them, which really would be very time consuming, or send out announcements, which is expensive. But it's annoying that it's even a thing at all and that people feel obligated to announce their relationships. Especially when there's a breakup and everyone feels the need to comment on it when they don't understand the whole picture.

[Carl-E]

Family? 

My students are on facebook...


I avoid it like the plague.

My girl's students are on her friends list. For her it's another tool to keep an eye out for them. Certain kids can be reached more easily via fb than in a classroom.

My students are in college - definitely not "kids" I want to keep an eye on.  I'd be afraid to friend most of them, really...





Think Jace, OK?  (nothing personal, Jace)

[BeoPuppy]

Ah, yes, big diff. She teaches 15 to 18 year olds. They're bad but not THAT bad.

[Lines]

If I wanted to be friends with students on Facebook, I'd make a whole new profile. A profile with very basic information and that's it. And I'd probably delete my other page. (It's got a fake name, but there's just too much on there at this point.) It'd be nice to have a way to be connected with students, but I don't want them too involved in my personal life. There has to be a boundary for me.

[BeoPuppy]

Meh, boundaries. We have had whole classes over for extra exam training, tea and cookies. They know me and our kid on sight. one of the students enrolled in our aikido class.

[Lines]

I'm not saying everyone has to have them, but I personally want one. The USA school system has a tendency to suck out your soul. I'd rather keep mine. 

[Papersatan]

Seriously though, updating my status to "engaged" was both convenient and annoying as fuck. First off, it meant I didn't have to call everyone and tell them, which really would be very time consuming, or send out announcements, which is expensive. But it's annoying that it's even a thing at all and that people feel obligated to announce their relationships. Especially when there's a breakup and everyone feels the need to comment on it when they don't understand the whole picture.

Also I bet your targeted ads have changed.  OMG WEDDING STUFF!!! and once you change it to married.... BAAAAABIES!!!

[Lines]

I started getting wedding stuff as soon as I was "in a relationship" and I already get baby and mother stuff because I have a vagina. THANKS FACEBOOK, I DID NOT KNOW I HAD A UTERUS. WHAT AN AMAZING DISCOVERY.

[Papersatan]

I noticed the change from "go back to school" to "have a baby" after marriage.

Another funny note on targeted ads, Hulu sometimes gives you a choice between two ads, I assume to better track your preferences and offer you more relevent ads.  At one point last year it gave me a choice between babyfood and tequila.  I assume they were trying to figure out whether I was still partying, or had moved on to baby making.  I chose the tequila, obvs.. but they still give me Pediasure ads and these Ragu ones where the lady is conning the kids into eating vegetables.  No matter how many times I click "this ad is not relevant to me", they keep insisting that at my age I ought to have young kids who are picky eaters.

[Welu]

I recently cleared my Facebook list from near 300ish to 160ish. I did it over the process of a couple of weeks, not because I was being sneaky but because Facebook wouldn't load all of the people in the list until some were deleted. Now it is mainly coworkers, friends, family, internet friends and friends of friends I want to get to know better. Other than that it's people who I think would notice their friend count go down and if they realized it was me, would be genuinely angry with me.
I also try to only post things I wouldn't mind saying to my family or family but there isn't much I'd mind saying to them any way.

What are people's opinions on employers looking up workers or interviewee's Facebooks? And in the case of current workers, then punishing them for their posts unrelated to work? Obviously I can understand why posting, "John/Jane is such a jerk. They only got promoted because they shagged the boss." when you're friends with John/Jane/Boss is a stupid thing to do and gets brought into work.

[VonKleist]

People who are not smart enough to hide their opinions are probably not smart enough to work for you.

Or something along those lines is what a lot of employers are thinking.
And rightly so.

On the other hand, employees who get fired over this stuff and employers who care about it are both dicks and probably deserve each other.

[TheEvilDog]

I recently cleared my Facebook list from near 300ish to 160ish. I did it over the process of a couple of weeks, not because I was being sneaky but because Facebook wouldn't load all of the people in the list until some were deleted. Now it is mainly coworkers, friends, family, internet friends and friends of friends I want to get to know better. Other than that it's people who I think would notice their friend count go down and if they realized it was me, would be genuinely angry with me.
I also try to only post things I wouldn't mind saying to my family or family but there isn't much I'd mind saying to them any way.

I have gotten a few comments from friends about the fact that I have 29 friends on my facebook. I usually counter by saying that I know everyone on my friends list and that I know each and every single one of them, could they say the same? The fact is that the vast majority of my friends aren't on facebook anyway.

[Lines]

Re: employer thing - Before this, employers had no good way to access someone's "personal" life, so why should they be allowed to do it now? I hate it. Even if you make everything private, there's still ways to get in and see things you don't want those people to see. Hooray for having your life online and not being able to do much about it!

I should just delete my account. I've been thinking about it for a while, but parts of it are just so convenient...

[Thrillho]

I agree that it's bullshit that employers now try to find you on Facebook and judge you on that basis. It should be irrelevant. At the same time, employers do it anyway, so my profile is pretty private, my display picture is never anything too crazy, and my statuses are never anything too insane.

[pwhodges]

If I found that my employer was looking at my Facebook (not that there's much there), I would walk out.  I understand that this option is not practical for many people.

[celticgeek]

I deleted my Facebook account years ago, and I steadfastly resist ALL attempts of people trying to get me back on Facebook.

[nekowafer]

I use Facebook a lot, and I enjoy it. I have privatized my page as much as I can. I am also careful about who I add. No one from work can see my page anymore. That's already gotten me in trouble once. I made a comment about work that was as non specific as it could be... and had someone tattle that I was online at work. Thankfully my boss is pretty terrible with computers in general, and she seems to think the sun shines out of my ass, so I have no worries on that front. Until I get a new job, anyway.

[Papersatan]

Some companies ask for your Facebook password when they hire you.

I would refuse, not only because I disagree with that on so many levels, but because in my area of specialization the protection of personal/security information (like passwords) is important, and I think that a company which asks me for my information and which hires people willing to give it up is one with a culture in which it would be impossible for me to do my job well.

That said, many people make the mistake of friending coworkers on facebook and not managing their lists properly.  Even if you don't get fired for something you say or post on Facebook, if your coworkers can end up with more information than you would like and you are not in control of how they share it and or how it effects their perception of you.  If there are photos of you out drinking the night before you called in sick, or if you post a complaint about that "horrid manager" you have, or that you hate your job, if anyone you work with has access to that information you can expect it to change the way they see you and they way they work with you, whether they are in charge of your hiring and firing or not.

It need not even be work related.  I don't generally discuss my sex life, my politics or my (lack of) religious belief at work, not only because it is inappropriate, but because I assume that many people would change their views of me based on this information.  You may not fire me because I am an Atheist, but research shows you will trust me less, and I don't need that perception coloring my performance reviews or the opportunities I am given.  I do post things about my beliefs publicly on G+, but I am able to easily filter my more "objectionable" so that it is only shown to those I want to share it with.  I found that Facebook was constantly resetting their system, so that even after spending hours sorting lists and carefully assigning permissions, people could access information I didn't want them to. Also, Facebook requires your to actively moderate your own page.  That is if you "write on my wall" it is by default visible to everyone, this means that even if I am not using the site, people could post things which "out" me to others. 

[TRVA123]

I don't think many employers will ask for a facebook password from prospective employees... as that would open the company up to an employment discrimination suit.

Say that I am pregnant and looking for a job (or gay/atheist/other minority) If an employer learns that through logging into my facebook (in other words, by viewing information that is not public available on my facebook profile) and chooses not to hire me, I can sue them with the credible claim that they decided not to hire me when they learned that I was pregnant.

[pwhodges]

It has certainly happened in the UK, even though it is believed to be illegal.

[Papersatan]

There are a very limited number of protected statuses they could learn about from Facebook which they could not learn about face to face.  If you were early in a pregnancy or if your Facebook announces your religion.  Those are the only two I can think of.  Race and Gender they already got by interviewing you.  Also, you need to prove in someway they it was one of the protected classes which lost you the job, which is difficult.  You are not entitled to know who else applied for a job, or who was ultimately chosen. Unless the employer tells you "I'm sorry, but we are looking for someone who won't need time off in their first year", there is no way you could prove it had anything to do with your pregnancy. 

I think most companies who were asking for Facebook info were actually hoping to snoop after you had been hired anyways, to find evidence of you speaking poorly about the company, participating in illegal activities, or activities they deem immoral, all of which they are entitled to fire you for under US law.  If that should be the case is a much more complicated subject for me.

[Barmymoo]

My facebook account is pretty private. I recently checked using the "View As..." function and was annoyed that I couldn't make my cover photo comments private. There isn't anything on them that is particularly private, but I don't really want anything visible to non-friends.

[Patrick]

I started getting wedding stuff as soon as I was "in a relationship" and I already get baby and mother stuff because I have a vagina. THANKS FACEBOOK, I DID NOT KNOW I HAD A UTERUS. WHAT AN AMAZING DISCOVERY.

This reminds me of when my sister was in high school and one of her friends started seeing a Mormon guy, and for her next birthday another friend got her a breast pump as a gift.

[Lines]

Honestly, that's a pretty funny gag gift. Especially after visiting Salt Lake City and seeing the hoards of children there. (The people are so very nice out there, but they have an obscene amount of children.)

[nekowafer]

Uh so apparently if a woman uses a breast pump often enough it can induce lactation, even if she isn't pregnant. The more you know!