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Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread

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Gridgm:
dude ...spiderland

Is it cold in here?:
This was even before my time:

If the town's newspaper burns down, how will anyone know?

EDIT:
"My brother ran a hundred yards in ten seconds!"
"Wow, did he break a record?"
"Yes, that's why he was running!"

EDIT:
Did you hear about the guy who got an answering machine for his car phone? The greeting said "Sorry, I'm home right now, please leave a message and I'll call you as soon as I'm out".

EDIT:
Q. What do you put on the wheels of a DeLorean?
A. Snow tires.

Is it cold in here?:
Well, I did remember another one.

What did Marilyn Quayle say on her wedding night?

"Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy!"

Is it cold in here?:
The kid asked the elevator operator "Why do you keep calling me 'Sonny'?".

The elevator operator replied "I brought you up, didn't I?".

Wingy:
Anything by Yakov Smirnoff.  I was going to nominate Edwin Neumann as well, but he's still relevant, though dead.

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