Topic: QC Captions Vol. 96 (Read 11703 times)

iduguphergrave · « **on:** 06 Jan 2013, 10:35 »

Nice to be back to regular strips again. FIRST PANEL:

ENJOY

K1dmor · « **Reply #1 on:** 06 Jan 2013, 10:49 »

Marten: So...How's my latte?
Dora: It tastes like feet...and kind of fishy.
Faye: That's what he said...

Spiff · « **Reply #2 on:** 06 Jan 2013, 12:03 »

Marten: "Why does this espresso machine have a red button that says 'Launch'?"

Dora: "That's not 'Launch', that's 'Lunch'."

Faye: "As in: 'There's a new Starbuck's opening. I wonder if it's still there after lunch.'."

PintsizeForPresident · « **Reply #3 on:** 06 Jan 2013, 12:31 »

MARTEN: So, are you and Tai doing it yet?
DORA: That is none of your business.
FAYE: That's odd... Your sex life with Marten was our business whether we liked it or not!

Border Reiver · « **Reply #4 on:** 06 Jan 2013, 12:44 »

Marten: "Are you sure?"

Dora: "For the last time, I'M NOT PREGNANT!!!"

Faye: "Explain the test-sticks in the bathroom with the "positive" sign then."

DSL · « **Reply #5 on:** 06 Jan 2013, 13:22 »

Quote from: Border Reiver on 06 Jan 2013, 12:44

Dora: "Are you sure?"

Marten: "For the last time, I'M NOT PREGNANT!!!"

Faye: "Explain the test-sticks in the bathroom with the "positive" sign then."

Amended that for ya.

K1dmor · « **Reply #6 on:** 06 Jan 2013, 14:04 »

Marten: But you shouldn't let Tai spy on Claire while she was putting on her swimsuit...
Dora: I don't get it, why she's so upset? What's the big deal?
Faye: We will see it in the next chapter of QC.

(?)

Mr_Rose · « **Reply #7 on:** 06 Jan 2013, 14:20 »

Quote from: DSL on 06 Jan 2013, 13:22

Quote from: Border Reiver on 06 Jan 2013, 12:44
Dora: "Are you sure?"

Marten: "For the last time, I'M NOT PREGNANT!!!"

Faye: "Explain the test-sticks in the bathroom with the "positive" sign then."

Amended that for ya.

"Those must be Pintsize's."

Is it cold in here? · « **Reply #8 on:** 06 Jan 2013, 14:41 »

Marten: "Uh, nice neck beard."
Dora: "IT IS NOT A NECKBEARD IT IS A HEAT SINK."
Faye: "Wow. You need either more coffee or less, I'm not sure which."

Carl-E · « **Reply #9 on:** 06 Jan 2013, 15:25 »

Dora: "Bitter, with a hint of sass and a distinct aftertaste of scorn..."

Marten: "That's amazing!"

Faye (to herself): "How could she know...?"

Zebediah · « **Reply #10 on:** 06 Jan 2013, 18:16 »

Marten: "So why is it that I only attract women who have serious emotional issues that inevitably sabotage our relationship?"
Dora: "We're just using you to work through those issues so that we can move on to stable relationships with other people."
Faye: "I have no idea what she's talking about, Marten. I really don't."

DSL · « **Reply #11 on:** 06 Jan 2013, 19:03 »

(continued from Zebediah's hard-to-beat entry:)

FAYE: "So you oughta hang out your shingle, Marty: 'Marten Reed, professional relationship practice.'"
MARTEN: "I dunno. Seems kinda cynical and commercia .. "
DORA: "Dammit why does EVERYONE HERE HATE MONEY?"

PintsizeForPresident · « **Reply #12 on:** 07 Jan 2013, 01:35 »

MARTEN: What's that sword doing, stuck in the ceiling?
DORA: That's Faye's new installation piece. It is called "Reverse King Arthur".
FAYE: Whoever draws the sword will be King of Coffee!

Soulsynger · « **Reply #13 on:** 07 Jan 2013, 02:23 »

Marten: "Maybe the machine needs a professional beep booper."
Dora: "I can beep boop it fine on my own, thank you!"
Faye: "Boy, does someone need a good beep booping. Jeez."

(Maybe Dora just isn't getting the kind of beep booping she needs from Tai at the moment... who knows?)

Carl-E · « **Reply #14 on:** 07 Jan 2013, 03:53 »

Yeah, they're taking it slow.

Beep, but no boop yet.

Loki · « **Reply #15 on:** 07 Jan 2013, 03:58 »

Quote from: DSL on 06 Jan 2013, 13:22

Quote from: Border Reiver on 06 Jan 2013, 12:44
Dora: "Are you sure?"

Marten: "For the last time, I'M NOT PREGNANT!!!"

Faye: "Explain the test-sticks in the bathroom with the "positive" sign then."

Amended that for ya.

A trivial fact: In some cases, a man getting positive on a pregnancy test may hint to testicular cancer.

Thank you for subscribing to "facts you did not want to know".

Soulsynger · « **Reply #16 on:** 07 Jan 2013, 04:24 »

Can I hit him? Or would I be summoning valhalla's wrath?

Akima · « **Reply #17 on:** 07 Jan 2013, 04:47 »

Asgard's surely?

Soulsynger · « **Reply #18 on:** 07 Jan 2013, 04:54 »

Oops.

Border Reiver · « **Reply #19 on:** 07 Jan 2013, 05:20 »

And Loki's not real popular in Asgard ATM - something about him and a practical joke involving some mistletoe, Hodr and Balder.

FunkyTuba · « **Reply #20 on:** 07 Jan 2013, 13:29 »

Marten: Beep?
Dora: <upside down hello kitty face>
Faye: Boop.

DSL · « **Reply #21 on:** 07 Jan 2013, 17:36 »

Quote from: Akima on 07 Jan 2013, 04:47

Asgard's surely?

I didn't know Shirley's in Asgard. Tell her "Hi" from me.

MillionDollar Belt Sander · « **Reply #22 on:** 07 Jan 2013, 18:29 »

MARTEN: Really, worse than the one I made?
DORA: It's so bad I've gone blind.
FAYE: When I suggested a "Heavy Metal" mocha I meant the music, not actually dissolve lead in the frigging beverage.

DSL · « **Reply #23 on:** 07 Jan 2013, 18:40 »

MARTEN: "No, it doesn't work that way on Earth. Just because you've closed your eyes and can't see me doesn't mean I can't see you."
DORA: "Shit. Well, what if I covered my eyes with a towel? And someone get me a donut from the pastry case."
FAYE: "Daft as a brush, but very very ravenous."

WAYF · « **Reply #24 on:** 07 Jan 2013, 19:21 »

Marten: Actually, with the right hormones...

Dora: NOT IN POLITE COMPANY, Marten!

Faye: Oh yeah, cause it's not like I've overheard THAT conversation before.

Is it cold in here? · « **Reply #25 on:** 07 Jan 2013, 20:46 »

Faye: "Are you calling me polite company?"

MillionDollar Belt Sander · « **Reply #26 on:** 08 Jan 2013, 00:02 »

Quote from: WAYF on 07 Jan 2013, 19:21

Marten: Actually, with the right hormones...

Dora: NOT IN POLITE COMPANY, Marten!

Faye: Oh yeah, cause it's not like I've overheard THAT conversation before.

MEANWHILE on the other side of the looking-glass

MARTEN: I will NOT grow a pair for you!
DORA: Actually with the right hormones---
FAYE: Good God, not this conversation again...

iduguphergrave · « **Reply #27 on:** 08 Jan 2013, 06:52 »

Marten's reluctance to "grow a pair" could be taken several ways...

anyhoo...SECOND PANEL:

Bluesummers · « **Reply #28 on:** 08 Jan 2013, 07:43 »

Dale: "By the way, the pizza is poisoned...and the antidote is in my pants."

Hanners: "This is how I die?!"

Marigold: *contemplating*

Mr_Rose · « **Reply #29 on:** 08 Jan 2013, 07:45 »

Dale: “No, seriously: these are my actual eyes.”
Hannelore: “AAAAAHH!”

celticgeek · « **Reply #30 on:** 08 Jan 2013, 07:47 »

Dale: They give me X-Ray vision.
Hannelore: AAAAAHH!

DSL · « **Reply #31 on:** 08 Jan 2013, 08:05 »

DALE: "And sometimes I rearrange the toppings so each slice has an odd number. Or in a Fibonacci sequence -- counterclockwise! I think it tastes better than clockwise. At least on Tuesdays. I also am looking into the possibility you can have complete memories of entire episodes of your life that never really happened. Like, say, living on or visiting a space station. Or you can have actual episodes in your life that you don't remember happening. We think that's what happens with Pizza Girl. She stuffs her costume, by the way. And did you know that if you ask, some pizza places will put a topping on one half of the pizza but not the other half?"
HANNELORE: (BSOD)

Soulsynger · « **Reply #32 on:** 08 Jan 2013, 10:34 »

Quote from: DSL on 08 Jan 2013, 08:05

DALE: "And sometimes I rearrange the toppings so each slice has an odd number. Or in a Fibonacci sequence -- counterclockwise! I think it tastes better than clockwise. At least on Tuesdays. I also am looking into the possibility you can have complete memories of entire episodes of your life that never really happened. Like, say, living on or visiting a space station. Or you can have actual episodes in your life that you don't remember happening. We think that's what happens with Pizza Girl. She stuffs her costume, by the way. And did you know that if you ask, some pizza places will put a topping on one half of the pizza but not the other half?"
HANNELORE: (BSOD)

I have long hair, an undercut, very blue eyes. Am about 1.7 meters tall, pale, wear mostly black and can be easily identified by my concentrated stare. If we should ever meet, prepare yourself for some serious leg humping.
(Also: *voice of Horus* "B'sod!")

DALE: "My powers are beyond your mortal imagination. For instance, my eyes can see straight through your clothes!"
HANNERS: "Aaaaah! Dishonor on you! Dishonor on your cow! Dishonor on .... "

Zebediah · « **Reply #33 on:** 08 Jan 2013, 10:39 »

Dale: "I also work part-time as a hit man."
Hannelore: "Please tell me my mother has never hired you."

DSL · « **Reply #34 on:** 08 Jan 2013, 11:07 »

Quote from: Soulsynger on 08 Jan 2013, 10:34

I have long hair, an undercut, very blue eyes. Am about 1.7 meters tall, pale, wear mostly black and can be easily identified by my concentrated stare. If we should ever meet, prepare yourself for some serious leg humping.

Well, you sound like an improvement on my last leg-humper: Short, saggy, waddled when walking, snorted and snuffled all the time, had a severe underbite, floopy ears and patchy, brindle hair. Had to be taught to not shit on the carpet.

So, thanks. I think.

Is it cold in here? · « **Reply #35 on:** 08 Jan 2013, 12:35 »

Dale: "Could you clean my glasses for me? I ran into a flock of fireflies on my bicycle."
Hannelore: "Eww!"

Carl-E · « **Reply #36 on:** 08 Jan 2013, 13:11 »

Canon.

cesium133 · « **Reply #37 on:** 08 Jan 2013, 13:16 »

Dale: My glasses aren't supposed to glow!? Maybe we should call a physicist.
Hannelore: We called Francis, but when he saw the picture, he screamed something about Cerenkov radiation and hung up the phone.

Zebediah · « **Reply #38 on:** 08 Jan 2013, 14:12 »

Dale: "So what do you do for a living, sweet-tits?"
Hannelore: "It's Hannelore, you cumbarge."

Asterus · « **Reply #39 on:** 08 Jan 2013, 14:23 »

Dale: It's like, with these... I can see. See some celestial event. No--no words. No words to describe it. Poetry! They should've sent a poet. So beautiful. So beautiful... I had no idea.
Hannelore: We do know a poet who lives nearby. He doesn't use and adjectives beflow 5-dollar ranking though
Marigold: *Momo's Holopony error was much more alarming*

WAYF · « **Reply #40 on:** 08 Jan 2013, 17:43 »

Hannelore: Seriously though, what makes your glasses do that all the time?!

Dale: It's the humidity.

(At the risk of beating a dead horse)
(Wait, was I seriously the first person to think of that?

)

Redball · « **Reply #41 on:** 08 Jan 2013, 17:59 »

Hannelore: Seriously though, what makes your glasses do that all the time?!

Dale: It's the opacity.

alt

Hannelore: Why do you guys keep beating a dead horse?!

Dale: It's the tenacity.

WAYF · « **Reply #42 on:** 08 Jan 2013, 18:26 »

Why did WAYF suddenly stop being jokingly exasperated, and join in with people who ran his one joke from a few weeks ago into the ground?
It's the futility.

Sidhekin · « **Reply #43 on:** 08 Jan 2013, 18:30 »

Hannelore: Intensity? Clarity? Luminosity? Fulgidity?
Dale: Lucidity.

Is it cold in here? · « **Reply #44 on:** 08 Jan 2013, 19:32 »

Dale: "My glasses are a special bio-sensitive nanoparticle mix which fluoresces in the presence of pathogens."
Hannelore: "Ohmigodohmigodohmigod"

MillionDollar Belt Sander · « **Reply #45 on:** 08 Jan 2013, 21:16 »

DALE: Well I'm heavenly blessed and worldly wise, I'm a peeping-tom techie with x-ray eyes...
HAN'LOR: Well I'm glad you're doing alright and getting good grades.

Point if you know the song and artist without looking.

K1dmor · « **Reply #46 on:** 08 Jan 2013, 21:31 »

DALE: "... And that's why this Apple iGlasses are better that the Ellicott-Chatham's model"
Hannelore: "GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!"

WAYF · « **Reply #47 on:** 08 Jan 2013, 22:41 »

Surely they're called iEyes though?

ChaosWolf · « **Reply #48 on:** 08 Jan 2013, 22:48 »

Quote from: WAYF on 08 Jan 2013, 22:41

Surely they're called iEyes though?

http://oddanimals.com/aye-aye/ Nah, that's what these are.

Bluesummers · « **Reply #49 on:** 08 Jan 2013, 23:08 »

Quote from: MillionDollar Belt Sander on 08 Jan 2013, 21:16

HAN'LOR

This is now Hanners' Klingon name. "Qapla' Han'lor!"

THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

Author Topic: QC Captions Vol. 96 (Read 11703 times)