Topic: QC Captions Vol. 105 (Read 17393 times)

iduguphergrave · « **on:** 10 Mar 2013, 11:38 »

Startin' up a brand new day... /sting

FIRST PANEL:

PERSONAL NOTE: I think Jephs rendition of Ellen is super cute :3

Is it cold in here? · « **Reply #1 on:** 10 Mar 2013, 12:20 »

Marten: "She looks CUTE, doesn't she?"
Maurice: "Not as cute as you!"
Ellen: "Can't I go to a single wedding in this town without being propositioned for a threesome?"

Mr_Rose · « **Reply #2 on:** 10 Mar 2013, 12:33 »

Marten: "Dude, you kidnapped Ellen Allien‽"
Maurice: "Wait, that's who we got? We ordered Miss Kittin!"
Ellen A: «Friggin' Kidnappster! Always the bystander, never the target…»

WAYF · « **Reply #3 on:** 10 Mar 2013, 14:36 »

Marten: Ugh, this is lame. You said we were going to a Frat Party!

Maurice: No, I said we were going to a Fraatz Party. And FYI, a Fraatz Party is much cooler than a Frat Party.

To the two people who get that joke, thank you very much, I'm here all week.

jwhouk · « **Reply #4 on:** 10 Mar 2013, 15:35 »

MARTEN: "I thought you said that Beltsander guy had a bunch of captions."
MAURICE: "Well, apparently he hasn't seen the new caption thread yet."
ELLEN: "Warten ist das Schlimmste."

celticgeek · « **Reply #5 on:** 10 Mar 2013, 15:43 »

Marten: What about Frodo?
Maurice: And Samwise?
Ellen: Hier kommen die Adler!

Zebediah · « **Reply #6 on:** 10 Mar 2013, 16:27 »

MARTEN: I wish I knew enough German to talk to her.
MAURICE: We tried to fix her up with an AI translator, but it's having some issues.
ELLEN: Cump.

MillionDollar Belt Sander · « **Reply #7 on:** 10 Mar 2013, 18:40 »

MARTIN: Oh great, Beltsander is here.
MAURICE: Fantastic! Cover your ears he's got a good one ready.
ELLEN: Jetzt wir singen zusammen die geschichte Über den schweinköpfigen hund und den lieben Red Baron...

jwhouk · « **Reply #8 on:** 10 Mar 2013, 18:50 »

Verflucht seist du, RED BARON!

"Zehn, zwanzig, dreißig, vierzig, fünfzig oder mehr
Der blutige Red Baron wurde Aufrollen des Gastes
Snoopy ging hoch, um zu versuchen, um die Streifen zu beenden
Der blutigen Red Baron von Deutschland"

MillionDollar Belt Sander · « **Reply #9 on:** 10 Mar 2013, 19:02 »

MARTIN: In the nick of time, a hero arose/A funny-looking dog with a big black nose
MAURICE: He flew into the sky to seek revenge/But the Baron shot him down--
Ellen: Flüche! nicht diese Scheiße wieder!!!

Shame SHAME on you if you don't know the song.

DSL · « **Reply #10 on:** 10 Mar 2013, 20:44 »

MARTEN: "Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer?"
MAURICE: "Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!"
ELLEN: "Der ver zwei peanuts, valking down der strasse, and von vas . . . assaulted! peanut."

OR

MARTEN: "Mein Hund hat keine Nase!"
MAURICE: "Wie riecht er?"
ELLEN: "Schrecklich!"

MillionDollar Belt Sander · « **Reply #11 on:** 10 Mar 2013, 23:09 »

MAURICE: Here is our I.T. lass, she'll show you how to access the network.

ELLEN: DAS KOMPUTERMASCHINE IST NICHT FÜR DER GEFINGERPOKEN UND MITTENGRABEN! ODERWISE IST EASY TO SCHNAPPEN DER SPRINGENWERK, BLOWENFUSEN UND POPPENCORKEN MIT SPITZENSPARKSEN!!

MARTIN: On second thought I'll just use my iPhone.

jwhouk · « **Reply #12 on:** 10 Mar 2013, 23:15 »

No fair using Jaegerspeak!

MillionDollar Belt Sander · « **Reply #13 on:** 10 Mar 2013, 23:23 »

Quote from: jwhouk on 10 Mar 2013, 23:15

No fair using Jaegerspeak!

Blikenlights have been MUCH longer than "jaegerspeak..."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blinkenlights

RedWolf4 · « **Reply #14 on:** 10 Mar 2013, 23:49 »

Marten: "Oh MAN this coke is GREAT!! I could totally swear you've got Ellen Allien standing right in front of me!!"

Maurice: "Marten, son, that is Ellen Allien. My stash isn't THAT good."

Ellen: "So, like, am I getting in on this or. . . ?"

Soulsynger · « **Reply #15 on:** 11 Mar 2013, 00:11 »

Marten: "I can't believe you tricked me into my own wedding!"
Maurice: "Oh, come on, you two were only broken up for what, two years maybe?"
Vicky: "Yeah... our timespan is very questionable."

(Man, that last line is weak. But you get the joke, right?)

DSL · « **Reply #16 on:** 11 Mar 2013, 05:56 »

Quote from: MillionDollar Belt Sander on 10 Mar 2013, 23:23

Quote from: jwhouk on 10 Mar 2013, 23:15
No fair using Jaegerspeak!

Blikenlights have been MUCH longer than "jaegerspeak..."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blinkenlights

Is this the same as "Gefraktured German fur gefliegers," as used by Air Force magazine cartoonist Bob Stevens as he drew his fliegenwagens on the offroarenbahnstrasse to the distress of the dummkopf ubbenzie taur watchen aller odder dummkopfs fliegen?

Soulsynger · « **Reply #17 on:** 11 Mar 2013, 07:25 »

Ich glaub, mir wird schlecht.

I think I'm gonna be sick.

Marten: "Ach du meine Güte. Von denen hat echt keiner 'ne Ahnung."
Maurice: "Wirklich. Nicht der kleinste vernünftige Satz kommt da raus."
Allen: "Fragwürdige Angelegenheit. Aber hey, für Muttersprachler durchaus witzig."

FunkyTuba · « **Reply #18 on:** 11 Mar 2013, 10:45 »

This totally doesn't match the faces, but here it is:

Ellen: I am fluent in over six million forms of communication including German, Experimental techno, Big House, electroclash, electropop, and in a pinch, Dubstep.
Maurice: Aw, maaan, I was looking forward to some Contemporary Country... <sings> "...your eyes are shining like the bottom of a bottle of beer.."
Marten: I can make a call, I know just the guy.

Thrudd · « **Reply #19 on:** 11 Mar 2013, 12:42 »

ELLEN: Ahh yes, Mr. Barnard
MAURICE: HALT IHRE EITERNDER GOB, SIE TIT! IHRE ART MACHT MICH KOTZEN! SIE INHALTSLEERE TOFFEE-NOSED ÜBELRIECHENDEN PERVERS!!!
MARTIN: Ja, aber ich kam hier für ein Argument!!
MAURICE: OH! Oh! Es tut mir leid! Das ist Missbrauch!
MARTIN: oh! Oh ich verstehe!
MAURICE: aha! Nein, Sie wollen Raum 12A, nebenan.
MARTIN: Ach...Tut mir Leid...
MAURICE: gar nicht!
MARTIN: dumme Git.

Skewbrow · « **Reply #20 on:** 11 Mar 2013, 13:53 »

Marten: "But I can't sing any of her songs. I don't know any German."
Maurice: "Aww. Give it a try. Our beloved Henry did "Fisch im Wasser" and "99 Luftballons" when Ellen hosted a karaoke night at his club. You can't be worse than your old man."
Ellen (thinking): (Lieber Gott, bitte nicht noch ein betrunkenen "O du lieber Augustin...". Es ist mir so peinlich.)

Soulsynger · « **Reply #21 on:** 11 Mar 2013, 13:59 »

Quote from: Thrudd on 11 Mar 2013, 12:42

ELLEN: Ahh yes, Mr. Barnard
MAURICE: HALT IHRE EITERNDER GOB, SIE TIT! IHRE ART MACHT MICH KOTZEN! SIE INHALTSLEERE TOFFEE-NOSED ÜBELRIECHENDEN PERVERS!!!
MARTIN: Ja, aber ich kam hier für ein Argument!!
MAURICE: OH! Oh! Es tut mir leid! Das ist Missbrauch!
MARTIN: oh! Oh ich verstehe!
MAURICE: aha! Nein, Sie wollen Raum 12A, nebenan.
MARTIN: Ach...Tut mir Leid...
MAURICE: gar nicht!
MARTIN: dumme Git.

Google translate fails at Monty Python.

Marten: "Neunundneunzig Luftballons..."
Maurice: "Auf ihrem Weg zum Horizont."
Allen: "Hielt man für Allien aus dem All. *groan*"

jwhouk · « **Reply #22 on:** 12 Mar 2013, 06:59 »

MARTEN: "Glaubst du, jedermann müde von den Google Translation Beschriftungen noch?"
MAURICE: "Ich denke nicht so scheint es der Liebling der gesamten Message-Boards zu sein."
ELLEN (to herself): "I have no idea what they are saying."

DSL · « **Reply #23 on:** 12 Mar 2013, 07:39 »

MARTEN: "My Hovercraft is full of eels."
MAURICE: "Really? The invisible one?"
ELLEN: "There are Sony AnthroPCs who can help you with that."

Soulsynger · « **Reply #24 on:** 12 Mar 2013, 07:46 »

Quote from: jwhouk on 12 Mar 2013, 06:59

MARTEN: "Glaubst du, jedermann müde von den Google Translation Beschriftungen noch?"
MAURICE: "Ich denke nicht so scheint es der Liebling der gesamten Message-Boards zu sein."
ELLEN (to herself): "I have no idea what they are saying."

It's actually fun re-translating that stuff in my mind to figure out what you typed in originally.

Thrudd · « **Reply #25 on:** 12 Mar 2013, 10:33 »

Quote from: Soulsynger on 11 Mar 2013, 13:59

Google translate fails at Monty Python.

In my defense,
1) It wasn't Google Translate but just as bad if not worse
2) I used it on purpose because it is funny bad and I was just too lazy / DST tired to bother translating it properly
[ my German is as rusty as a ford fiesta on cinder-blocks ]
Erdbeeren mit Schlagsahne =/= Stroh Beeren mit ausgepeitscht Creme

jwhouk · « **Reply #26 on:** 12 Mar 2013, 19:00 »

Ich sprechen sie kleine Deutsche.

Soulsynger · « **Reply #27 on:** 13 Mar 2013, 07:58 »

Quote from: Thrudd on 12 Mar 2013, 10:33

In my defense,
[ ... ]

Aww... no need to defend yourself. I did find it hilarious and wanted to feel smart for realizing what it was.

Quote from: jwhouk on 12 Mar 2013, 19:00

Ich sprechen sie kleine Deutsche.

... what?

@Thread: Neues Bild, bitte?

iduguphergrave · « **Reply #28 on:** 13 Mar 2013, 12:32 »

woo new image!

haha

cesium133 · « **Reply #29 on:** 13 Mar 2013, 12:35 »

Yelling Bird: I had a bird inside me, and he had one inside him, and so on, but all the fuckers got away, so now I just look like a dumbass in this fucking seagull's gullet.

Mr_Rose · « **Reply #30 on:** 13 Mar 2013, 12:41 »

What? You never heard of roleplay, meatfucker?

pwhodges · « **Reply #31 on:** 13 Mar 2013, 12:42 »

YB: I dare you to roast me like this! Who are you, Henry VIII?

Zebediah · « **Reply #32 on:** 13 Mar 2013, 12:46 »

"What, like you've never gotten carried away during anal sex before?"

Skewbrow · « **Reply #33 on:** 13 Mar 2013, 13:03 »

YB: "Ridley Scott wanted me to dig my way thru the sternum of this mot*¤%&%¤&ing avian, but he didn't pay me enough. I told him to shove that contract to the seagull's cloaca. Giving a new meaning to the concept of a ring species."

WAYF · « **Reply #34 on:** 13 Mar 2013, 13:27 »

YB: WHEN I SAID THAT I HOPE THE SEAGULL SWALLOWS, THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT.

Carl-E · « **Reply #35 on:** 13 Mar 2013, 13:28 »

"Take that, you m*therf*cking turducken!"

Soulsynger · « **Reply #36 on:** 13 Mar 2013, 15:31 »

YB: "Mine?"

or

YB: "I AM THIS CUMBITCH'S HEADCANNON AND YOU COCKFARTS BETTER FUCKING RESPECT THAT!"

DSL · « **Reply #37 on:** 13 Mar 2013, 16:20 »

VETERENARIAN (offpanel, to gull): "How'd you get that?"
YB: "I DUNNO, MOTHERFUCKER, IT STARTED OUT AS A BUMP ON MY ASS."

DrBear · « **Reply #38 on:** 13 Mar 2013, 22:02 »

Yeah, I'm in the seagull that sat on the Pope's chimney while they were voting. You fuckers thought it was some kind of SIGN?

iduguphergrave · « **Reply #39 on:** 13 Mar 2013, 22:45 »

Quote from: Soulsynger on 13 Mar 2013, 15:31

YB: "Mine?"

or

YB: "I AM THIS CUMBITCH'S HEADCANNON AND YOU COCKFARTS BETTER FUCKING RESPECT THAT!"

Swearing is good. Finding Nemo references are also good

Border Reiver · « **Reply #40 on:** 14 Mar 2013, 04:14 »

Quote from: iduguphergrave on 13 Mar 2013, 22:45

Quote from: Soulsynger on 13 Mar 2013, 15:31
YB: "Mine?"

or

YB: "I AM THIS CUMBITCH'S HEADCANNON AND YOU COCKFARTS BETTER FUCKING RESPECT THAT!"

Swearing is good. Finding Nemo references are ~~also good~~ awesome

FTFY

Pilchard123 · « **Reply #41 on:** 14 Mar 2013, 12:06 »

Quote from: Soulsynger on 13 Mar 2013, 15:31

YB: "Mine?"

Have I ever posted the story of when some friends and I tried to start that up at college? There was a group of us that decided that one day we would spread around the room with other groups of friends and at some time, one of us would start squawking. This would be the signal for the other to join in after a few seconds. Nobody else joined in, but we did demonstrate that we were prime candidates for the college synchronised making-yourself-look-a-prat team.

DSL · « **Reply #42 on:** 14 Mar 2013, 13:09 »

Quote from: Zebediah on 13 Mar 2013, 12:46

"What, like you've never gotten carried away during anal sex before?"

I can't decide whether to shout WIN at this one or Soulsynger's "Nemo" reference. Something is seriously wrong with me.

FunkyTuba · « **Reply #43 on:** 14 Mar 2013, 13:10 »

Quote from: Skewbrow on 13 Mar 2013, 13:03

YB: "Ridley Scott wanted me to dig my way thru the sternum of this mot*¤%&%¤&ing avian, but he didn't pay me enough. I told him to shove that contract to the seagull's cloaca. Giving a new meaning to the concept of a ring species."

or a Ring of Fire species

DSL · « **Reply #44 on:** 14 Mar 2013, 13:11 »

Quote from: FunkyTuba on 14 Mar 2013, 13:10

Quote from: Skewbrow on 13 Mar 2013, 13:03
YB: "Ridley Scott wanted me to dig my way thru the sternum of this mot*¤%&%¤&ing avian, but he didn't pay me enough. I told him to shove that contract to the seagull's cloaca. Giving a new meaning to the concept of a ring species."

or a Ring of Fire species

Pacific Rim job?

Soulsynger · « **Reply #45 on:** 14 Mar 2013, 13:35 »

Quote from: DSL on 14 Mar 2013, 13:09

Quote from: Zebediah on 13 Mar 2013, 12:46
"What, like you've never gotten carried away during anal sex before?"
I can't decide whether to shout WIN at this one or Soulsynger's "Nemo" reference. Something is seriously wrong with me.

There really is, DSL. No competition here, Zebediah's gets the win hands down. I somehow overlooked it prior to your quote and positively YELPED when I read it.

MillionDollar Belt Sander · « **Reply #46 on:** 14 Mar 2013, 16:15 »

So it is written so it shall be : Zebediah is the winner of the Internet for this caption contest.

iduguphergrave · « **Reply #47 on:** 14 Mar 2013, 16:39 »

So...just so we're clear:

Anal sex > Finding Nemo

Huh. Wasn't expecting that.

Zebediah · « **Reply #48 on:** 14 Mar 2013, 16:48 »

Thank you, thank you very much.

Although if anybody can figure out how to combine a Finding Nemo reference with an anal sex joke, I'll gladly concede that I have been bested.

K1dmor · « **Reply #49 on:** 14 Mar 2013, 17:01 »

Dory: "Ew! No! I would never do that!....What you mean we did it yesterday?!?"

Omg, my childhood...

THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

Author Topic: QC Captions Vol. 105 (Read 17393 times)