If you're gonna riff ...
PINTSIZE: "Oh, Winslow ... "
HANNERS (grumbling): "I knew it ... "
WINSLOW (OP, opening door): "Hanners, I'm ho -- All right, THAT'S IT!"
PINTSIZE: "Winslow, no! Where are you going?
WINSLOW: "I'm going to get the SMBC Neuralizer, set it on high, and fry that trollop's brain!"
PINTSIZE: "No, Winslow! You can't! Listen! She pays for this apartment! She pays the electric bill! She pays for the Wi-Fi! She pays for the upgrades and she said she'd even pay for upgrading you to a New iPad chassis like you wanted, every time Apple comes out with another backwards-incompatible upgrade! She paid for the robot hamster! ... please, Winslow, not the Neuralizer!"
WINSLOW: "What Neuralizer? I'm going to go get one of Marten's hoodies. She'll catch her death of cold, lying there like that in nothing but socks and panties!"
... riff all the way.
(Forumites of a certain age might recognize the original "Please, Henry! Not the shotgun!" version of this joke.)