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[Akima]

"You're in CONUS fuckhead, you can't split the lanes like you're running a convoy out of Najaf"

You mean you can drive like that in Hawaii and Alaska?

[jwhouk]

(Psst... Alaska is CONUS...)

[LeeC]

[GarandMarine]

"You're in CONUS fuckhead, you can't split the lanes like you're running a convoy out of Najaf"

You mean you can drive like that in Hawaii and Alaska?

(Psst... Alaska is CONUS...)

Thought: I have no idea how they drive in Hawai'i.

Point of Interest about U.S. Military slang: CONUS aka "The World" is typically used in common speech to mean "Any where under the American flag that isn't this desert fuckhole we're stuck in and/or home.

So while Hawai'i is not part of the Contiguous United States (CONUS) and is thus OCONUS, it still counts for bitching about however badly wherever you presently are sucks. With the distinction being left to S-1 clerks, paymasters and those evil individuals who plan out your orders for your next PCS to a little known base in Bumfuq, Egypt.


Also that shark guy is my hero.

[Blue Kitty]

I really want a science fiction story where aliens come to invade earth and effortlessly wipe out humanity, only to be fought off by the wildlife.
They were expecting military resistance. They weren’t counting on bears.

It took us a while to recover.

The first attacks were vicious and without warning. They hit the biggest cities in the world, the ones with the highest populations first. In the blink of an eye Karachi, Tokyo, Shanghai, Seoul, Delhi, Mexico City, Jakarta, Manilla, and New York City…all gone in fire.

The computers went next.  All of them. Everything with transistors was theirs for the taking.  “Some sort of quantum effect,” the braniacs at CERN said, just before they disappeared in their own firey hell that took out most of Switzerland as well as sizeable chunks of France and Italy.

By the time the enemy landed, we were pretty much defenseless.  We couldn’t do much as they started…harvesting us. They didn’t want us dead, that’s for sure.  We were no good to them dead.

It got really bad really fast, and then they stopped.  And left.  They literally ran like the demons of hell were hot on their heels.  They left behind technology the likes of which we’d never seen before.  Including a couple of their…processing plants.

We blew those up.

So yeah, it took a while for us to recover, to bring our technology back online, and start understanding theirs.  To figure out what had happened, where they had gone.

And it urns out it wasn’t even us.  They knew all about us, they’d studied us closely for a long time, to make sure we were compatible.  They had us from the moment they fired the first shots from orbit.

They ignored everything else about the Earth, though. They didn’t bother to learn that we’re not the only animal species on Earth, and that we even share our lives with some of them. They didn’t bother to learn that there are bigger animals out in the wilds.

They didn’t bother to learn about the bears, or the wolves, or the hyenas, or the tigers.  They didn’t bother to learn about the locusts, or ants, or spiders.  They didn’t even know about birds.

Or the bees. According to what we’ve been able to translate, the bees really freaked them out. According to our best translation (which is admittedly shaky) their word for bees was roughly “poison drones.”  Or possibly “poison demons.”  Like I said, the translation is a little shaky.  Either one makes me smile.

It was as if the Earth itself rose up and threw itself at the invaders. Not just to send them packing, but to make them pay.  The fronts near the wildernesses crumbled first.  The invaders quickly learned that they couldn’t go anywhere near the oceans or any large body of water. They never even got a foothold in Australia. From there it was just a matter of time.

When I think about being attacked by every insect and animal on Earth…hell, I’d run too.  I fucking hate it when I walk into an empty spider web, let alone have them actively attack me.

We’re going be okay. I adopted a stray cat to keep me company, and to help keep the bad dreams away. The family down the street (they had two dogs and a parrot, so they made it through the invasion just fine) are keeping bees.
There are already plans for permanent protections for our wild spaces.  The rainforests, which were going to be gone within a few generations, will live on. We’ve learned our lesson.

We’re going to be better stewards of this world.  After all it did for us it’s the least we can do.

[cesium133]

"You're in CONUS fuckhead, you can't split the lanes like you're running a convoy out of Najaf"

You mean you can drive like that in Hawaii and Alaska?

(Psst... Alaska is CONUS...)

I have to admit that the first time I saw that image, it didn't have that caption on it, and I thought it was of someone pouring acid on the wrist of someone he/she was shaking hands with. 

[LeeC]

Wait....Disney did this and didn't bat an eye? Everyone just accepted it, no big controversy in the episode or anything? Hum.  Next you'll tell me they'll have princesses who go off and do their own thing with males as side characters who don't need to save them....

...kudos.


_________________________
Some day I hope to be able to do this without hurting myself

[Method of Madness]

(Psst... Alaska is CONUS...)

Well, yes and no. If CONUS is continental US, then yes. If CONUS is contiguous US (which is probably what Akima was assuming), then no. Since it's used for both, neither is really wrong.

[Jimor]

Wait....Disney did this and didn't bat an eye? Everyone just accepted it, no big controversy in the episode or anything? Hum.  Next you'll tell me they'll have princesses who go off and do their own thing with males as side characters who don't need to save them....
...kudos.

Best comment below:

Walt would be rolling over in his grave. In all the movies, the mom is dead. Now there's 2...live ones??

[Schmee]

@Blue Kitty: Who wrote that? It's really good. Still, they forgot about microbes. The only thing preventing most bacteria from being flesh-eating bacteria is our immune system, and aliens (in particular the green slimy sort) would be like giant walking Petri dishes. It'd be like the ending of War of the Worlds, only less anticlimactic.

[GarandMarine]

(Psst... Alaska is CONUS...)

Well, yes and no. If CONUS is continental US, then yes. If CONUS is contiguous US (which is probably what Akima was assuming), then no. Since it's used for both, neither is really wrong.

For the purpose of military pay rolls and administration, Alaska is considered CONUS last I knew.

[Method of Madness]

Curious, because you said "contiguous" (which doesn't include Alaska). So the military CONUS must be continental.

[GarandMarine]

The term's meaning and Alaska being considered "overseas" for pay roll purposes are VERY different things mate.

[jwhouk]

And I have it on good authority that they drive on the right side of the road in Hawaii - except where the roads get moved every so often due to lava flow, and that's usually only on the Big Island.

[LeeC]

[Blue Kitty]

Fun things to say when someone tells you they’re going to go to the bathroom:

Stay safe
Congratulations
That’s what they all say
Different strokes for different folks
I hope you have the time of your life
But you have so much to live for
Please explain
think of me

[lepetitfromage]

Omg I LOVE "that's what they all say". I am SO doing this the next time I'm at the front desk. I usually go with "Enjoy" or "Have fun".

[Sorflakne]

Meanwhile in the Marine Corps, fierce religious debates have ensued.

http://www.duffelblog.com/2014/01/marines-religious-freedom/

Which is funny because Viking helmets didn't even have horns.

[Grognard]

I really enjoyed the "Dont be a Dumbass" article.
http://www.duffelblog.com/2013/06/air-force-navy-try-and-institute-dont-be-a-dumbass-safety-campaign/

this line really made me chuckle...
"Army and Marine Corps staff aides were heard snickering in the background"

[kyomi]

[LeeC]

[BeoPuppy]

... Poor Tom ...

[Method of Madness]

Poor Tom indeed

And Lee, those gifs are fucking amazing.

[GarandMarine]

[LeeC]

haha @GM: I found that the other day and sent it to my girlfriend and she got a kick out of it. 

[94ssd]

I made use of this last year

[Sorflakne]

[GarandMarine]

I am totally for that.

[Blue Kitty]

my brother is really homophobic and he tried to insult me by saying “at least i’m not gonna marry a girl!” and i started laughing and he got the most mortified look on his face because he tried so hard to insult my sexuality but he actually just made himself sound gay boom i win

[jwhouk]

This saddens me greatly.

[LeeC]

[pwhodges]

[LeeC]

Great Movie Fighting Techniques as illustrated by "Helen of Troy"

[Blue Kitty]

[Method of Madness]

Too bad she'll have to work for years to pay off the interest.

[GarandMarine]

Sugar gliders are the cutest things ever! And they're soooo soft! My local pet store has one right now!

http://cheezburger.com/169733

[Method of Madness]

But wait, there's more!

[pwhodges]

[BrusselSprouts]

So this actually showed up in my newsfeed today, from one of those "LOLSOFUNNY" pages on Facebook



And it's almost identical to



I, what?

[94ssd]

[Method of Madness]

So this guy was there.

[Grognard]

u got to go to the SB ?  cool!

[Method of Madness]

No, I didn't. That was a screengrab someone got from the TV, but the point is he's kind of terrifying.

Although I was about half an hour away from the Super Bowl. And I'm really glad I wasn't there because I did not enjoy this year's game

[pwhodges]

How to cook:



Fractal giraffe:

[GarandMarine]

[Method of Madness]

Funny how a book/movie series about a 100+ year old stalking a teenager is more socially acceptable than a show about friendship and loyalty.

[ev4n]

Um, want.

Source:  http://e-soulu.deviantart.com/art/Long-night-ends-398036682?offset=0#

[Blue Kitty]

As soon as the Coca-Cola commercial (where “America the Beautiful” is sung in a variety of languages) ended, I went straight to Twitter and Coca-Cola’s Facebook page.

Angry White People did not disappoint.

Also:

[94ssd]

Got a laugh out of this - http://theminorunc.com/2014/02/03/election-2014-emilio-the-dreamer/

Emilio's candidacy is awesome though and if any of you are secretly UNC-CrapChapel Hill students you should vote for him.

[Stryc9Fuego]

I worked at Super Bowl XLIII (Feb '09 for the '08 season, Steelers v Cardinals, final score 27-23 Steelers). Springsteen at the halftime show. Ran copies for the press packets. Most of it was a curb stomp by the Steelers, but the Cards almost robbed it in the 4th quarter.  Dirty football, but a good fight at the end.

I still had a work shirt from that Super Bowl. I wore it today just to remind people of a GOOD Super Bowl.