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[Lines]

One of my friends/former coworkers likes to play a game called "Don't Get Hit" which involves him deliberately swerving in front of cars on his bike.

Does he have a death-wish? I'm a bicycle commuter in the city, and strongly believe that exercising your legal right to ride on the road means behaving like a responsible vehicle operator. Even if you do, some motor-vehicle drivers will carve you up (though not as many as some cycling drama-queens like to suggest), so playing silly games like this should be right out.

I honestly have no idea. I told him I thought it was immensely stupid, which is why I told him I would hit him if he ever did it do me. And I'm not lying. I will either tap his bike hard enough with my car to dent a wheel or I will get out of the car and start beating him with my purse. Luckily I rarely drive downtown anymore, so I don't really have to worry about it. If he wants to get hit by a car, that's his problem. He knows it's stupid, but he still does it.

[bainidhe_dub]

I once saw some pedestrians get pulled over for crossing out of turn. It was fantastic. They were crossing a road that's 3 lanes each way plus turn lanes, and their timing was such that they were in front of the left-turn lane when their light turned green so nobody could go. When the going-straight lanes got their light, a cop who was sitting one or two cars back flipped a u-turn and pulled up next to the people as they were reaching the other side of the street.

[Carl-E]

That's awesome! 

...I told him I would hit him if he ever did it do me. And I'm not lying. I will either tap his bike hard enough with my car to dent a wheel or I will get out of the car and start beating him with my purse.

Please, only the latter.  The difference of mass between a bike and a car is such that even a "light" tap can cause a ridiculous amount of amage to both the bike and cyclist, and it's unpredictable as well.  You may only knock them over (a that's bad eough), or send them flying thirty feet, you can't gauge it. 

[Patrick]

Solution: take a passenger, and if he does it, overtake him, have the passenger open their door, then you hit the brakes.

This is definitely not a legal tactic to employ, but hey, guy's being a dick.

[Redball]

Really hard on the door, the hinges, the bike, the cyclist, possibly the passenger, the driver's insurance premium and possibly the passenger's freedom.

[Lines]

...I told him I would hit him if he ever did it do me. And I'm not lying. I will either tap his bike hard enough with my car to dent a wheel or I will get out of the car and start beating him with my purse.

Please, only the latter.  The difference of mass between a bike and a car is such that even a "light" tap can cause a ridiculous amount of amage to both the bike and cyclist, and it's unpredictable as well.  You may only knock them over (a that's bad eough), or send them flying thirty feet, you can't gauge it.

He's been hit before. By both a car and a bus, though he hit the bus because of a car. (He wasn't hurt, but his bike got bent up.) I probably won't actually hit him with my car, I don't hate the guy. (I liked working with him a lot, but he does stupid shit like this that annoys me.) Maybe I should just remove parts instead. (Ones that would be noticeable right away, like the chain or seat or a wheel.) Don't worry, I'd mail them back.

Also, Patrick, tempting, but I like my car and prefer to keep it in one piece.

[Carl-E]

Solution: take a passenger, and if he does it, overtake him, have the passenger open their door, then you hit the brakes.

This is definitely not a legal tactic to employ, but hey, guy's being a dick.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHFUCKNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In 1992, I was biking to class down the steep hill at IU by the main Library.  There's a stop sign at the bottom of the hill, and cars were backed up for about a block (as usual). 

One brilliant passeger in a rusty yellow Datsun B210, halfway down the hill, said to her driver, "I'll just walk from here", an opened the door without looking...

My tire wound up tangled in the pedals, the frame bent nearly in half, the door was folded flat forward to the fender of the car, and I literally flew 30 feet down the hill, landing on my back/backpack on the sidewalk.  I couldn't feel or move my legs.  Some sensation returned by the time the ambulence reached the hospital, and I was able to walk out after two days with nothing more than a cracked sacrum.  The initial shock had stunned the nerves. 


I was incredibly lucky, and was only a few pounds of force away from becoming a paraplegic, and only a half turn from hitting my head instead of my ass.  DO NOT FUCK WITH BIKES ULESS YOU WANT TO KILL OR MAIM!!

[Barmymoo]

If I do attempt to say anything to her, no matter what it is she quickly gets defensive.

This sounds very similar to the situation I was in with the girl I was sharing host families with on the choir tour. She only ever spoke to me, if we were alone, to discuss logistics (other than the first night, when we chatted about our families - resulting in me telling her a lot of fairly private stuff that she turned round and used against me later), or if we were in a group, to contradict something I had said or argue with me. She is very narrow-minded and has black-and-white views on everything, and I found it impossible to be around her. Which was really not great since we had to stay together for two weeks. I sympathise, someone inexplicably taking against you and not being mature enough to fake friendliness for the sake of others is really tricky to cope with. Especially if it isn't overt enough for others to be aware of it without you whining and complaining every time.

[Patrick]

lol you guys responded to that like it was a serious suggestion or something

Dear blag,

The wine bar I used to run open mic at a year or so ago is closing down, and their last open mic was tonight. So I went. The owner was there, and he said he wanted me gone because of my wine-stealing incident on my last night working there for free. I just told him to fuck off, walked in further, and kept shaking people's hands and hugging people. What was he gonna do, chase me?

Brought down the house with a sad Troubador song and a Beatles favorite, stayed til close, owner had already left by then. trololololol

[Carl-E]

lol you guys responded to that like it was a serious suggestion or something

Sorry, but it was bad enough as an accident.  Stupider things than that have been done on purpose.  No hard feelings...   

[Omega Entity]

Dear blag,

The wine bar I used to run open mic at a year or so ago is closing down, and their last open mic was tonight. So I went. The owner was there, and he said he wanted me gone because of my wine-stealing incident on my last night working there for free. I just told him to fuck off, walked in further, and kept shaking people's hands and hugging people. What was he gonna do, chase me?

Brought down the house with a sad Troubador song and a Beatles favorite, stayed til close, owner had already left by then. trololololol

Can't say I'd blame the guy for wanting you gone, if you, you know, actually stole from him. Just sayin'.

[Patrick]

Guy promised he'd pay me, and 6 months later I still had never seen a penny.

[Omega Entity]

Alright, so he's a raging dick. But I still don't see how that justifies theft.

[Carl-E]

If he's not going to pay money, Pat'll take his pay in wine. 


On the other hand, he may be withholding your pay because of the wine.  The reasonable thing to do would be to take the cost of the wine out of what he owed you, but yeah, sounds like he's a douche. 

[Carl-E]

So you register for unemployment in PA online.  Aside from the fact that the login keeps timing out, there are a couple of things that bug me...

If you say you were fired, all the followup questions are about what you did to get fired.  I didn't do anything - I got fired for being too expensive to keep. 

Which isn't an option, of course.  There's an "Other" choice, then you get to explain it all (in under 300 words). 



I dunno.  It's just depressing, really. 

[Omega Entity]

If he's not going to pay money, Pat'll take his pay in wine. 


On the other hand, he may be withholding your pay because of the wine.  The reasonable thing to do would be to take the cost of the wine out of what he owed you, but yeah, sounds like he's a douche.

Then take him to small claims? There's legal ways to go about things. And if you were working under the table, there's the added bonus of getting him into deep shit with the government, as well.

[Patrick]

Definitely under the table, and the bar's closing because he's getting into legal trouble for embezzlement anyway. I don't give NO fucks

[Welu]

This sounds very similar to the situation I was in with the girl I was sharing host families with on the choir tour. She only ever spoke to me, if we were alone, to discuss logistics (other than the first night, when we chatted about our families - resulting in me telling her a lot of fairly private stuff that she turned round and used against me later), or if we were in a group, to contradict something I had said or argue with me. She is very narrow-minded and has black-and-white views on everything, and I found it impossible to be around her. Which was really not great since we had to stay together for two weeks. I sympathise, someone inexplicably taking against you and not being mature enough to fake friendliness for the sake of others is really tricky to cope with. Especially if it isn't overt enough for others to be aware of it without you whining and complaining every time.

Thanks for the response. Two of the girls know the story from my side and perspective but I'd be surprised if they haven't heard her version too. She's over-sensitive in general so everyone who's met her seen her get defensive over nothing at some point. At New Years Eve they main group saw the song example I talked about and friends who've known me and her are not just aware, two of them dated her and they have their own stories.
I am very sure she took against me because she thought I was trying to steal her then-boyfriend away. Despite being in a relationship myself when I met them.

~ ~

In other news: There is a high chance I am seeing Jonathan Coulton and Tim Vine in September. Yay!

[Patrick]

JOYCE MANOR SHOW IN 3 HOURS

BOUT TA PISS MY PANTS

[Zingoleb]

He's been hit before. By both a car and a bus, though he hit the bus because of a car. (He wasn't hurt, but his bike got bent up.) I probably won't actually hit him with my car, I don't hate the guy. (I liked working with him a lot, but he does stupid shit like this that annoys me.) Maybe I should just remove parts instead. (Ones that would be noticeable right away, like the chain or seat or a wheel.) Don't worry, I'd mail them back.

I am thankful that I am not the only person who has a tendency to put every other line in parentheses. (It is probably my worst writing habit - well, except for using lots of hyphens and semi-colons to lengthen sentences; it's a habit I can't break.)

[Jace]

I hate when people put lots of parenthesis in their sentences, especially when it changes the meaning (I do not really hate when people do this (addendum, I do hate when they put parenthesis inside of other ones without going to brackets (No, I don't hate that either, but I do prefer using bracketed systems)))

[Patrick]

Went to the show with my homie Greg, had a great time! I moshed! I've never good'n'proper moshed before, despite being in the pit at previous shows. Greg's hella big, so I had him lift me up so I could scream along to the chorus of one of my favorite jams. I'd started talking to a super cute girl after Summer Vacation's set, and after I'd wished her a good show and went back inside, she came and found me in the crowd and we hung out for the rest of the show. I asked her for her phone number, and now I have it. :3

I am not sure if he was serious, but the bouncer told Greg and I that he just found out his dad died, which kinda threw us for a loop. But after we talked to him and made special effort to be nice and helpful, he seemed to be in a better mood, and he shook our hands on our way out afterward and said thanks. Downside: that did totally prevent me from stagediving.

Also managed to talk to half of Joyce Manor and gave them my business card and a thumb drive with a few Troubador songs on it, including a bootleg track from one of our live shows just for good measure.

tl;dr I had a fucking fantastic time, all the bands were killer (Joyce Manor's singer went through three guitars' worth of E strings [2 weren't his!] just rocking too hard, lololol), and I'm proud of myself for making every second count, fuck yeah. I doubt I could've had a better time even if I'd tried.

[Welu]

He's been hit before. By both a car and a bus, though he hit the bus because of a car. (He wasn't hurt, but his bike got bent up.) I probably won't actually hit him with my car, I don't hate the guy. (I liked working with him a lot, but he does stupid shit like this that annoys me.) Maybe I should just remove parts instead. (Ones that would be noticeable right away, like the chain or seat or a wheel.) Don't worry, I'd mail them back.

I am thankful that I am not the only person who has a tendency to put every other line in parentheses. (It is probably my worst writing habit - well, except for using lots of hyphens and semi-colons to lengthen sentences; it's a habit I can't break.)

I have picked up that habit (since joining this board in fact). Sometimes I think I do it when I don't need to but I have a horrible habit of writing sentences that run on way too long, which annoys the hell out of me when I am story writing.

[Carl-E]

Tell it to Dickens. 


Or Victor Hugo. 

[Zingoleb]

"I hate Victor Hugo," said Les miserably.

[Redball]

Faulkner.
But I enjoyed Les Miserables.

[Barmymoo]

I use too many brackets as well, it annoys me a little but they're useful. I hadn't considered that I might have developed that habit on here but I bet I did!

Yesterday I headed out to meet Redball, along with Edith. We realised when we were looking at the map that we'd been out that way before, with Kat and Steve (remember the lake house?) so that was good. We had a great time and when I get round to it I'll upload photos - I might even do that today if I get all my other stuff done before we need to go home from the library.

I'm having difficulty with the internet, because the local library branch's wifi isn't anything like good enough to do basically anything - it has an upload speed of 0.05 mbps or something, I don't know, but basically carrier pigeons would be faster. So my attempt at a Skype lesson with my tutoring student was a total failure. I'm going to try a cafe with wifi instead tomorrow, in the hopes that will be more successful, because if not then I won't be able to earn £30 a week and I was banking on that money.

[Akima]

Sometimes I think I do it when I don't need to but I have a horrible habit of writing sentences that run on way too long, which annoys the hell out of me when I am story writing.

Me too. In learning English, once I reached a certain level of competence, I was encouraged to use "good literature" as a guide to good writing. So I have a habit of writing long sentences, full of subsidiary clauses and asides, under the influence of, for example, Hemmingway:

"I was a little ashamed, and regretted that I was such a rotten Catholic, but realized there was nothing I could do about it, at least for a while, and maybe never, but that anyway it was a grand religion, and I only wished I felt religious and maybe I would the next time." - The Sun Also Rises, 1926.

Though the author whose prose style I would most like to emulate is probably Raymond Chandler, but he liked the occasional long sentence too:

"The main hallway of the Sternwood place was two stories high. Over the entrance doors, which would have let in a troop of Indian elephants, there was a broad stained-glass panel showing a knight in dark armor rescuing a lady who was tied to a tree and didn’t have any clothes on but some very long and convenient hair. The knight had pushed the vizor of his helmet back to be sociable, and he was fiddling with the knots on the ropes that tied the lady to the tree and not getting anywhere. I stood there and thought that if I lived in the house, I would sooner or later have to climb up there and help him. He didn’t seem to be really trying."

And yes, Dickens. The opening sentence of "Tale Of Two Cities", for example.

[Redball]

Lots of clauses in the Chandler fragment you cited, but not all that objectionable. As a newspaper reporter, I watched sentence and paragraph length. I enjoyed writing a lead of 3-4 lines of type, followed by a very short second paragraph, in a rimshot kind of followup. I'm still writing for a couple of newspapers, editorials only, but still watching sentence and paragraph length.

[Patrick]

There is no author in the world I hate more passionately than Charles Dickens.

[Mister D Nomms]

Really? Not even Dean Koontz?

[lepetitfromage]

He's been hit before. By both a car and a bus, though he hit the bus because of a car. (He wasn't hurt, but his bike got bent up.) I probably won't actually hit him with my car, I don't hate the guy. (I liked working with him a lot, but he does stupid shit like this that annoys me.) Maybe I should just remove parts instead. (Ones that would be noticeable right away, like the chain or seat or a wheel.) Don't worry, I'd mail them back.

I am thankful that I am not the only person who has a tendency to put every other line in parentheses. (It is probably my worst writing habit - well, except for using lots of hyphens and semi-colons to lengthen sentences; it's a habit I can't break.)

(I sometimes do it whith entire posts, you have no idea.)

I enjoy parentheses myself (they allow me to explain a fragment in such richer detail without distracting from the bigger picture....i don't know if that makes sense).

[Omega Entity]

Makes sense to me. That's how I generally use them 

[Lines]

That's why I use them!

[pwhodges]

Nothing wrong with long sentences, appropriately constructed; long enough, and you get a periodic sentence (according to Wikipedia, though I've always just called it a period), which can be the length of a substantial paragraph - indeed, if you look in the poetry thread (in ENJOY), and find the ode by Milton that I posted, you will see that about three-quarters of it is made up of a single period.  To be a proper period, the sentence must build towards a conclusion or climax, rather than just rambling.

[Carl-E]

I recall a sentence is Robison Crusoe that lasted well over a page ad a half.  My sixth grade Eglish teacher had us deconstruct it. 


With a bit too much glee. 

[Redball]

This was the winner of a Bulwer-Lytton contest in the 1980s:
"The sun oozed over the horizon, shoved aside darkness, crept alongthe greensward, and, with sickly fingers, pushed through the castle window, revealing the pillaged princess, hand at throat, crown asunder, gaping in frenzied horror at the sated, sodden amphibian lying beside her, disbelieving the magnitude of the frog's deception,  screaming madly, 'You lied!´"

[Redball]

Here are the rest in the batch. Some are excellent, some not so.

[Patrick]

Really? Not even Dean Koontz?

Koontz isn't paid by the word, but Dickens was. Which is why he used too fucking many of them in every single thing he ever wrote.

Dear blerg,

Yesterday I helped my bandie Matt build a practice goal for hockey! It's regulation height, but it's smaller than regulation width, and he's super excited about it. After building was done, we cleaned up his kitchen a bit, jammed out some new song ideas, then went downtown for coffee.

As we were returning home from downtown, we looked up and saw a bunch of really bright lights in the sky, moving rather slowly. Neither of us had any clue what they were, but then they started descending and we were like "WHAT THE HOLY FUCK IS GOING ON" until they started to all land right next to us. Turns out they were a bunch of homemade mini hot air balloons, each with a letter attached. It turns out the letters were for the dead, but I didn't figure it out until around halfway through the letter, so I said "Fuck it, too late" and finished reading. I justify it in my head by saying that it is a good lesson in appreciating what you have in the people you love or something.

We get to Matt's house and he parks in the driveway and puts it in what he thinks is park (we were using his brother's truck since it has better fuel econ), and he gets out while I'm looking down turning off my iPod. Neither of us notice for 5 seconds that the car has started rolling backward into the street, and Matt just yells "OH FUCK DUDE OH FUCK OH FUCK" and I managed to slam on the brakes before it slammed into his mom's car.

Matt's still pissed at NBC for advertising Olympic diving and not showing it last night.

[Papersatan]

Another thing to consider about Dickens, his novels were serials which means no one expected you to sit down with the whole thing and read though it.  You read small chunks with a week or a month of rest between them.  You know what else is tedious? Watching a season of a TV show on netflix in one sitting.  Even the best of TV shows quickly seem formulaic and even as the overall plot advances it does so in small spirals, round and round almost the same things over and over till we can guess how each character will react, and they keep reminding you what just happened 20 minutes ago... Worst. Movie. Ever.   

[Akima]

Another thing to consider about Dickens, his novels were serials which means no one expected you to sit down with the whole thing and read though it.

If Dickens were alive today, he would be a script-writer on a soap-opera.

[Lupercal]

There is no author in the world I hate more passionately than Charles Dickens.

See, it's okay to say that on the internet.

When you say it to a whole publishing office who are buying your drinks, it is not so much of a good idea. You can't unsay "I hate Dickens".

And if we're talking LONG sentences, you should all read the last chapter of Joyce's Ulysses. It has eight sentences in it, spanned over something like eighty to a hundred pages. Have fun with it, I did!

[Zingoleb]

I hate that, though! There was this Polish novel I was reading where a sentence would go on for pages and it was just so hard to follow that I just gave up.

[Lupercal]

Joyce's effect was to have the "purest" form of inner monologue possible.

I doubt he ever even considered its readability!

[ackblom12]

Oh I'm sure he considered it for a short period, right before laughing at the the concept of seriously considering it.

Maybe wrote a couple of dirty filthy letters to his wife afterward.

[nekowafer]

Dear blog,

I'm in a fantastic mood today. I've been doing well lately, over my virus, over my shyness concerning the unintended weight loss... dare I say it, I'm happy. This is somewhat new for me, I'm rarely happy for long but I'm trying not to fuck things up by constantly telling myself it's going to end soon. I get to see one of my "partners" tonight and dress up fancy and listen to him tell me how good I look. It's a rare opportunity for me and I can't wait. Now, please make work go by faster so I can get to the compliments.

[Zingoleb]

Oh I'm sure he considered it for a short period, right before laughing at the the concept of seriously considering it.

Maybe wrote a couple of dirty filthy letters to his wife afterward.

The only Joyce I've read is those letters. I'm not sure whether I should be proud, ashamed, or scrubbing myself in the shower in an attempt to feel clean once more.

[lepetitfromage]

Dear blog,

I'm in a fantastic mood today. I've been doing well lately, over my virus, over my shyness concerning the unintended weight loss... dare I say it, I'm happy. This is somewhat new for me, I'm rarely happy for long but I'm trying not to fuck things up by constantly telling myself it's going to end soon. I get to see one of my "partners" tonight and dress up fancy and listen to him tell me how good I look. It's a rare opportunity for me and I can't wait. Now, please make work go by faster so I can get to the compliments.

Yay! I'm glad you're feeling better- in all senses Enjoy your time out tonight!

[pwhodges]

Damn! I think a rat has just bitten through part of the ring main for the upper part of the house; that means ripping half the house apart to try to find out where and repair it (also, we've been after this rat for eight years - we've blocked every conceivable access point, but it still gets in).

I've had to move my server to another part of the house to get it running again, but my wife will not be happy with no computers running in her study....

[Redball]

I guess with your experience you're way ahead of me, but is it possible that putting a tone on the pair of wires would let you detect the approximate location? My studfinder also spots electrical wiring, but I suppose it's just acting as a metal detector, which might be useful anyway.
Hadn't heard of a ring main before. Wikipedia explains it. Wiring in my experience here is all radial. Good luck!